Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 241695 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MissRose

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2924
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #795 on: November 26, 2013, 04:23:04 PM »
Yes, I already have my "command" from my mother to arrive early to help finish cooking dinner then later to do clean up for Thanksgiving. Of course, the same is not asked of my younger sister who has a preteen and a teen kid.  In a perfect world, my mother would make us both arrive early but that is not to be. 

*not fond of being the oldest child who is also unmarried and has no kids, and asked to do more by my mother because of that!!* : (

Snooks

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2401
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #796 on: November 26, 2013, 04:32:24 PM »
^^^^  That's adorable!!!

I just remembered that DH, DS1 (24), and DS2 (20) have a hill to die on:  our little Christmas tree.  When the boys were little and our house was, too, we had a small tabletop tree.  It's a brave, plastic, artificial little thing, only about a couple of feet high.  Guess who got emotionally attached?  When we moved to our current house ten years ago and had enough room for a full-size tree, I wanted to go all out with a live one and was met with an incredulous explosion of grief-stricken devotion.  The small tree stayed.  :-)

So, is the old dinky tree the only tree you guys have, or have you moved to the 'multiple trees' scheme of things?

It's the only one; I didn't want to hurt its feelings by having others.   :)

Then you'll appreciate why I won't allow the fairy on the top of the tree to be changed.  Of course I neither live at home nor have my own tree so my parents are stuck with the fairy my mom hates while the one she bought to replace it sits on the branches near the top of the tree.

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8033
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #797 on: November 26, 2013, 04:37:37 PM »
Yes, I already have my "command" from my mother to arrive early to help finish cooking dinner then later to do clean up for Thanksgiving. Of course, the same is not asked of my younger sister who has a preteen and a teen kid.  In a perfect world, my mother would make us both arrive early but that is not to be. 

*not fond of being the oldest child who is also unmarried and has no kids, and asked to do more by my mother because of that!!* : (

Can't you just say no?  Just tell your Mom that you will arrive (and leave) at the same time as your sister.

There is no reason your sister AND her kids can't also help with both the cooking/table preparation/etc. and the clean up.  In fact, for the kids it would be good experience. 

PastryGoddess

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4619
    • My Image Portfolio and Store
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #798 on: November 26, 2013, 05:57:49 PM »
Yes, I already have my "command" from my mother to arrive early to help finish cooking dinner then later to do clean up for Thanksgiving. Of course, the same is not asked of my younger sister who has a preteen and a teen kid.  In a perfect world, my mother would make us both arrive early but that is not to be. 

*not fond of being the oldest child who is also unmarried and has no kids, and asked to do more by my mother because of that!!* : (

The word No works quite well.  I don't know how your family works, but in my family kids are wrangled by whatever adult is nearby.  No need to ask parents if it's ok to put them to work.  They just get conscripted into the kitchen army :)

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15842
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #799 on: November 26, 2013, 07:51:26 PM »
I came to mine ages ago:  No restaurant turkey.

While my local Irish pub makes a good turkey dinner worthy of Thanksgiving I have spent two other Thanksgivings in other places where the turkey dinner and sides didn't remotely compare to any prepared by anyone in my life who cooked it at home.  Either the food tasted pre-fab or extremely bland. 

I have never gone to the movies on Thanksgiving Day, but there are always movies that debut on Christmas Day.

mime

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 663
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #800 on: November 26, 2013, 08:05:53 PM »
I'm going to take the opposite stance with the TV at our house this year: I'm going to tune the TV to the Lions/Packers game, set the volume relatively low, and then put the remote control away so that it doesn't get changed from that.

That way, people who want to watch the game can do so down in the family room, and people who don't want to watch the game can visit without having to yell over the TV.

I'm also going to set up a table & chair in one of the spare bedrooms and put my laptop computer in there.  When (not if) I start to get over-peopled and anxious, I'll retreat to that room and close the door for a little while until I'm ready to be social again.

We just changed plans. We're going to my ILs. No football for me again this year. I thought that when the football-watchers outnumbered the non-football watchers 12-3 we'd get to see the game. Not true.  :(  Oh well, there's always next year...

This year we're getting the game on TiVo, going home around 8 and watching it then.


MissRose

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2924
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #801 on: November 26, 2013, 09:00:33 PM »
Because I cannot predict my sister's arrival time, she is hardly on time for anything!

Regarding the kids helping, I take them aside privately and ask them nicely because I know my mother and my sister do not press the issue of them helping.

Yes, I already have my "command" from my mother to arrive early to help finish cooking dinner then later to do clean up for Thanksgiving. Of course, the same is not asked of my younger sister who has a preteen and a teen kid.  In a perfect world, my mother would make us both arrive early but that is not to be. 

*not fond of being the oldest child who is also unmarried and has no kids, and asked to do more by my mother because of that!!* : (

Can't you just say no?  Just tell your Mom that you will arrive (and leave) at the same time as your sister.

There is no reason your sister AND her kids can't also help with both the cooking/table preparation/etc. and the clean up.  In fact, for the kids it would be good experience.

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8033
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #802 on: November 26, 2013, 09:12:32 PM »
...   Because I cannot predict my sister's arrival time, she is hardly on time for anything!   ...

If you live reasonably close, have your Mom give you a call when Sister arrives.  If you don't live close enough for that to be practical, go at a reasonable time and give your Mom as much help cooking, etc., as you have time for before the arrival of Sister and her offspring.  Then as soon as dinner is over, remind Sister and Kids that Grandma will need some help clearing the table, doing the dishes and putting things away --  as you're walking out the door to go home.

You can break this unfortunate cycle that has developed throughout your life.  But you're the only one who can.  Your Mom won't.  Your Sister is hardly motivated to do so.  The kids don't realize what's going on because it's always been this way, so to them any other way is unimaginable.  But you can get out the polish and work on your own spine. 

If you don't do it soon, it's going to just fester and fester until you explode!   :-\

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13648
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #803 on: November 26, 2013, 10:09:58 PM »
I'm the chief cook.  I sometimes get some help getting the veggies prepped - peeling potatoes and the like - and I always call for someone to come do the mashing.  I also flat out refuse to do the cleaning up.

You sat on your behind, watching me do all the cooking or you got to do something else that's actually fun and you want me to clean up, too?  Nuh uh.  That's on the rest of you.  I ignore the grumbling and go sit on the couch with my knitting.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

Margo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1535
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #804 on: November 27, 2013, 08:52:43 AM »
Yes - in our family there is an absolute rule for big family meals - the Cook(s) Do Not wash Up. Usually, more than one person will be helping with the cooking, and different people will cook different meals, but no-one gets stuck with both for the same meal.

z_squared82

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 403
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #805 on: November 27, 2013, 09:30:03 AM »
Yes - in our family there is an absolute rule for big family meals - the Cook(s) Do Not wash Up. Usually, more than one person will be helping with the cooking, and different people will cook different meals, but no-one gets stuck with both for the same meal.

See, my mom tried this rule. And it does occasionally happen. But that's when my tall uncles pay tricks on the short folk in the family and you find a ladle in the fichus tree six months later. Or slated spoons in the light fixtures.

It's actually kind of funny, but Mom usually now puts the cousins in charge, since we know better (aka are shorter).

Hurricane Marathon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1566
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #806 on: November 27, 2013, 11:06:12 AM »
Up until this year it was "Boxing Day Dinner at Nana's House."  I don't care where I (or "we" if I was in a relationship) went on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, as long as I/we were available for Boxing Day.  It was always this way ever since I was a little kid and my parents were still together - Christmas at home, Boxing Day at Nana's. After she could no longer handle cooking a large meal she started ordering Chinese takeout. 

This will the first year not doing that - my Nana had to be admitted to the nursing home.  And since my husband's parents - where we'd go for our big Christmas dinner - have disowned us we won't be having any holiday dinners, which is totally fine by us.  We'd like to go on vacation and avoid Christmas altogether from now on.

AmethystAnne

  • mom, grandmother, and an enthusaistic knitter & crocheter (formerly Laura___)
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3864
  • So much yarn, not nearly enough time! :D
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #807 on: November 27, 2013, 12:12:10 PM »
^
How close in distance is your Nana's nursing home from you? Would it be possible for you to take a picnic lunch and enjoy part of the day with her?

bopper

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12278
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #808 on: November 27, 2013, 12:19:17 PM »
Well, DS is already showing signs of a nice shiny spine!  He's been voluntold to host his dad, stepmom, and step-sibs and their families for Thanksgiving.  That's already 12 volatile people. One sister called and asked if her friend could come also, and the other sister wanted her teenage daughters to each bring a friend.  He called me in a panic, and I gave him some nice eHell lines and a pep talk. So he sent a group text stating that he could only host immediate family; the one sister said fine, the other started whining:

Sis: But I already invited the girls' friends!
DS:  I'm sorry, you should have asked me first. I can't host them
Sis: But it's only 2 additional people!
DS: I'm sorry, I can't host them
Sis: Fine!  We just won't come!
DS: I'm sorry to hear that, we'll miss you

She finally backed down, and he scored his first moral victory.  I'm very proud of him!

Also practice what to say if someone shows up.


"I told Sis that I was unable to host any more people...didn't she tell you?  i am so sorry but I don't have enough chairs or food for any more."

Hurricane Marathon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1566
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #809 on: November 27, 2013, 12:24:11 PM »
^
How close in distance is your Nana's nursing home from you? Would it be possible for you to take a picnic lunch and enjoy part of the day with her?

We're having my family (Nana included) over to our house before Christmas for lunch & presents.  They're having a Christmas dinner at the home and she's also going over to my parent's house for the day on Christmas.

This way if my husband and I are able to get away we won't feel any holiday guilt.  :)