Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 237780 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

gramma dishes

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 7958
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #930 on: December 07, 2013, 09:59:11 PM »
...   It's really not my parent's fault, I can't blame them for this since they thought I knew.

How did they think you knew?  Who did they think told you?   ???

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4107
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #931 on: December 08, 2013, 12:31:15 AM »
My new hill - after two years of non-family Thanksgivings, an uncle decided to try the ginormous family get-together one more time.  The last time was at our house and I don't know about the other relatives, but by the end of the ordeal I was sick and exhausted, my sister was sick and delirious from lack of sleep, my mom had a nervous breakdown, and my dad who normally has little patience for emotional scenes was practically in tears with my mom over the toll it took on their relationship

Well, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as last time for my family as a whole.   I'm still done with the giant family Thanksgivings though.  Highlights:  I waited on them hand and foot with the rest of my family when they were our guests, so I felt it was a bit of slap in the face that they had no seat for me at Thanksgiving dinner - as in everyone including the 2 year old had a chair at the long table while I was perched on a couch behind all of them - and didn't remedy it until my dad got upset.  No apology by the way, the uncle actually gave me attitude as if I was the problem.  Cuz it's so fun to walk up and down and up and down a table full of your family as people insist there is a chair at the other end (but of course there isn't) and why won't you sit down already?   

Then I got to enjoy getting intimidated and cold shouldered into taking my cousin's small child to the movies along with all the pre-teens - meaning a change in movie to account for the 4 year old, the difficulties normally associated with babysitting a child who doesn't even listen to his own parents, and missing out on spending the day with the cousins who are my age because the kids' movie was at a different time.   

So yeah, I'm done.  Next November, I'm starting the planning early for an immediate-family and maybe some friends Thanksgiving like we used to enjoy before this side of the family ruined it.  Otherwise, I'm not going at all.  Enough is enough.

---

  • Here and There
  • Jr. Member
  • *
  • Posts: 64
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #932 on: December 08, 2013, 01:02:28 AM »
How did they think you knew?  Who did they think told you?   ???

They assumed that Aunt It had explained it to me months earlier that the family further away were going to be visiting from the weekend before Christmas to the weekend after New Years and to take the necessary time off. I can not fault them for putting more faith in Aunt It's communication skills then I'm willing to do at the moment, but I *can* fault them for not directly telling me to see if I'm able to visit. I am not as upset with them as I should be, not yet anyways, as they had no reason to believe that Aunt It would give me false information.

I will be having a conversation with them tomorrow morning before I finish my Christmas shopping for the roommate and friends and will ask them why they didn't call me directly. Maybe then I will see how much more fault they really have.

Mel the Redcap

  • Scheming Foreign Hussy!
  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 842
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #933 on: December 09, 2013, 03:58:56 AM »
On the subject of failed communications… the Good Ethnic Boy and I arrived at my mum and stepdad's place on Christmas Eve last year, started settling in and decorating the tree (which Mum always leaves for 'the kids' to do, including finding where all the ornaments got put away the year before and humping boxes down the stairs), and were very VERY surprised when my sister and her five children (ranging from 3 to 21yo) arrived. Because they live overseas, and Mum had forgotten to tell me they were coming for Christmas for the first time in five years. Despite long planning times and many opportunities to bring it up, or heck, just mention "when V and the kids are here…"

So there was a frantic shopping trip, because we didn't have anything to give them. At 6pm, on Christmas Eve, in a small country town. And Mum was surprised we weren't sticking around to keep decorating the tree. >:(

Ahem. Anyway. My hill to die on came a few years ago; namely, I am no longer my family's Chief Wrapping Elf.

This requires a bit of background explanation. It is tradition in my family (inviolable tradition!) that Everyone Gets A Christmas Stocking. These are no puny little stockings, either; we use pillowcases, and they tend to be pretty full. It used to also be tradition (inviolable!!!) that Everything In The Stockings Is Wrapped Individually Because That's More Fun… right down to the little mini candy bars and lollipops and so forth. Once my sister and I were old enough to really help with Christmas preparations, Mum gradually dumped more and more of them onto us, including handing me a bunch of money a few days before Christmas and telling me what to buy for the stockings, and giving me V's under-the-tree and stocking presents to wrap, giving V my under-the-tree and stocking presents to wrap, and getting one or both of us to wrap all Stepdad's stuff. Meanwhile, Stepdad was handing me a bunch of money and getting me to buy and wrap Mum's stocking presents.

As V started having kids, more and more of all this got pushed over onto me, culminating in the year where I went 'home' for Christmas two weeks before the day itself and was immediately presented with a pile of things to wrap, stuff to wrap it all in, and money to buy more stuff to wrap. I spent at least three hours a day, usually more like five, wrapping presents during those two weeks, in between shopping trips to buy more things. On Christmas Eve, I got up at 7am and wrapped ALL DAY, stopping only for meals, and finally finished at FOUR AM CHRISTMAS MORNING. The kids dragged me out of bed again at 6 for the traditional (inviolable tradition!!!!!) early-morning communal stocking unwrapping, which I zombied my way through, and I swore Never Again.

The next year, I put my foot down and only wrapped things it made sense to wrap - no more individually wrapped mini chocolate bars. Nobody complained. I also got my sister and her older children to share a lot more of the "wrap things for Mum/Grandma" chores, and used work as a (perfectly true) excuse as to why I couldn't come down early and do all that shopping. A couple of years after THAT, I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and politely refused to wrap a dang thing that wasn't a present FROM ME. Now that the arthritis is better controlled I do SOME wrapping for Mum and Stepdad, but it's never gotten up to ridiculous proportions again and I am well prepared to put my foot down again if I need to. >:D
"Set aphasia to stun!"

StarDrifter

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 926
  • I never tell people exactly how smart I am
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #934 on: December 09, 2013, 04:52:18 AM »
This will be our first Christmas with Baby Drifter (born in April) and I am flatly refusing to be anywhere but in my own home for Christmas morning.
I've had pressure from both my mum and Husband's mum to stay at either of their houses for Christmas eve night, but we're staying put at our own place.

Baby Drifter has plenty of presents to unwrap (okay, she's going to be 8 months old on Christmas day so she's just going to chew on the paper) at both houses, but she's going to be here with us in the morning for her stocking, then we're having lunch with my folks and dinner with Husband's parents, so she can open the presents from them when we see them.

Next year, however, we will be at our *new!!* house and will be able to host everyone for Christmas lunch. I am hoping this will settle any disagreements about where Baby Drifter is for her stocking unwrapping.
... it might frighten them.
Victoria,

CakeEater

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2529
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #935 on: December 09, 2013, 07:20:01 AM »
I've had one Christmas morning in my own house since i moved out of home 15 years ago. I'm always at either my or DH's parents' house. It's not my hill yet, but I can see it coming eventually.

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6890
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #936 on: December 09, 2013, 08:58:56 AM »
I have been feeling the need to have DH pick one major holiday over Christmas break for us to meet with his parents and only one.

Any meal with DH' parents results in DH and I cooking 90% of the meal, dragging it to their house, then having to set up while one or both PIL start eating before everyone is at the table. Neither is complimentary to the meal or the cooks, and that drives me up the wall. Also, MIL is extremely picky and doesn't like half of the ingredients we enjoy cooking with. For example, if I make a chocolate dessert that would be enjoyed by everyone but MIL, I also need to make another dessert that does not contain cherries, blueberries, raisins or chocolate that MIL would enjoy.

Not this year. We are going to have our fancier and more gourmet meal on Christmas Eve, just the three of us and make a simpler roast, sides, dessert to take to their house for Christmas Day lunch. We will not be seeing them over New Years either. My stress levels have dropped.

poundcake

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1011
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #937 on: December 09, 2013, 09:00:52 AM »
I understand that most hills involve negotiating boundaries and varying toxicity levels in families, but I believe mine is much, much more grave.

I will not tolerate the song "The Christmas Shoes."

My mom and a cousin love it insanely, and cry, and talk about how beautiful it is. Besides the fact that I hate glurge, I also think the song has a hugely problematic message. Plus I think it's a terrible song music-wise. But those who just love it and think it "embodies the true meaning of Christmas" seem to think that the more they play it, I'll eventually come around. And it won't happen.

Now, do I ask my mom to not play the stupid song when we have Christmas music on, or do I just quietly sneak into her mp3 files and hide the dang thing?

Free Range Hippy Chick

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 617
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #938 on: December 09, 2013, 09:24:19 AM »
I understand that most hills involve negotiating boundaries and varying toxicity levels in families, but I believe mine is much, much more grave.

I will not tolerate the song "The Christmas Shoes."

My mom and a cousin love it insanely, and cry, and talk about how beautiful it is. Besides the fact that I hate glurge, I also think the song has a hugely problematic message. Plus I think it's a terrible song music-wise. But those who just love it and think it "embodies the true meaning of Christmas" seem to think that the more they play it, I'll eventually come around. And it won't happen.

Now, do I ask my mom to not play the stupid song when we have Christmas music on, or do I just quietly sneak into her mp3 files and hide the dang thing?

When will I learn? When? When somebody on EHell says 'see this? this is a bad bad thing', why do I always hit google? Why do I not think 'poundcake writes like an intelligent individual who wouldn't lie to me'? Why? Why do I go to Youtube?

Poundcake, corrupt the mp3 file. Do it now. I'll give you an alibi. And if anybody thinks that we in the UK need this as one of our Christmas traditions, I'm volunteering for the barricades. Generally, I don't think that we need to protect our borders with heavy artillery, but in this case I'm prepared to make an exception.

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 6890
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #939 on: December 09, 2013, 09:25:24 AM »
I listened to that song once. That was enough for a hundred lifetimes.

Lady Snowdon

  • Super cool awesome title
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5957
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #940 on: December 09, 2013, 09:40:42 AM »
I have a list of Christmas songs that I hate, and The Christmas Shoes is at the top of that list.  If it comes on the radio, I shout at it, and tell it how terrible it is.  I refuse to have it played in my house, and I've been known to quietly get up and leave if someone starts talking about how much they LOOOOVVVEEEE it. 

Talk to your family about not playing it over and over if you think it'll do any good.  I would personally just delete any copy of the song that exists where I could find it, and express surprise when no one can find it.  Have another song or CD ready to suggest as a distraction.  Kind of like "Oh, no one can find the Christmas Shoes?  How weird!  Here's John Denver's Christmas CD!  Let's try that!"

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4107
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #941 on: December 09, 2013, 10:15:23 AM »
I don't know which song that is, and now I'm scared to google it  :-\

kckgirl

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2882
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #942 on: December 09, 2013, 10:18:08 AM »
NyaChan, don't do it! You're better off not knowing.
Maryland

Venus193

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 15817
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #943 on: December 09, 2013, 10:31:23 AM »
There is a video on Youtube.  I stopped at the 20% mark.

Stormtreader

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1840
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #944 on: December 09, 2013, 10:33:38 AM »
I made it to 50%, dont do it!