Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 246305 times)

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Zilla

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #45 on: October 27, 2011, 02:49:30 PM »
Mine would be Christmas Morning.  It's private time for my girls and dh only.  No one else.  I have had many offers of breakfast, spend the night etc, nope and nope.

I got flamed for it but this is my hill.

Everything else is gravy.

Perfect Circle

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #46 on: October 27, 2011, 02:57:42 PM »
Mine would be Christmas Morning.  It's private time for my girls and dh only.  No one else.  I have had many offers of breakfast, spend the night etc, nope and nope.

I got flamed for it but this is my hill.

Everything else is gravy.

That's the same for me too. That's exactly how I spend Christmas morning and as long as we are spending the day in our house, it's not changing.
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BeagleMommy

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #47 on: October 27, 2011, 03:31:01 PM »
My hill is that no one is allowed to police what I eat.  FIL used to do this because he truly believed diabetics don't eat like everyone else  ::).  One aunt actually made me cry when I was younger.

My doctor has said he doesn't care what I eat during holidays or vacations because it's only once a year or so that I "cheat".  No one is going to tell me I can't have pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving or my mother's pressed cookies on Christmas.  Not happening.

guihong

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #48 on: October 27, 2011, 03:39:27 PM »
Mine is coming this year, for myself.

For 13 years, it's been plastic silverware and paper plates (the chinet kind) for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.  Those plastic picnic cups, too.  I'm tired of that.  I want to use the china and crystal I inherited from my mother and that is still in boxes.  She died in 1996 :(.  I'll gladly wash every piece by hand (as she did).

Further, in order to use the china, we need to get to our dining room table, which is overrun by my son's Legos.  I want a real set dinner table, with cloth.  I don't want us serving ourselves out of pots on the stove or pulling turkey meat like hyenas.

And then, I don't want the dishes to be in the same old cardboard boxes stacked in our room.  I want a hutch, and/or sideboard for our dining room.  My mother had beautiful pieces-I want to show them off.  I guess it's Craigslist or estate sale time.

ETA: I think I love anna_garny's BIL.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2011, 03:50:24 PM by guihong »



Shea

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #49 on: October 27, 2011, 03:40:50 PM »
Mine is no political talk, at least with my mom's side of the family. My grandfather is pretty far over to one end of the political spectrum, and is unfortunately the type of person who doesn't really think through his opinions, just has a sort of knee-jerk reaction to things and automatically believes whatever politicians and pundits on his side of the aisle say (I don't wish to imply that all people of this political persuasion are like that, it's just how he is. One of my uncles also leans that way, but he's informed about his opinions and you can have an intelligent, friendly debate with him). He will not tolerate any kind of dissent. The rest of us are on the opposite end of the spectrum, but we tend to be quiet about it, except for my mom, who is both politically opinionated and well-educated on most political topics. In years past, there would be at least one massive fight between Mom and Grandpa sometime during their Christmas visit, leading to hurt feelings and a whole lot of awkwardness.

In the last few years, I have developed many strategies to avoid this sort of situation, because I couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately Mom agrees with me and has managed to avoid reacting to Grandpa's more out-there comments (he's not racist or religiously bigoted or anything like that, which is good because I don't think I could ignore that). This Christmas, I am going to attempt to get into the TiVo and block access to a particular channel he likes to watch non-stop, which would definitely ease the tension. He's just as happy to watch sports anyway ;).


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fluffy

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #50 on: October 27, 2011, 07:03:59 PM »
Mine is no political talk, at least with my mom's side of the family. My grandfather is pretty far over to one end of the political spectrum, and is unfortunately the type of person who doesn't really think through his opinions, just has a sort of knee-jerk reaction to things and automatically believes whatever politicians and pundits on his side of the aisle say (I don't wish to imply that all people of this political persuasion are like that, it's just how he is. One of my uncles also leans that way, but he's informed about his opinions and you can have an intelligent, friendly debate with him). He will not tolerate any kind of dissent. The rest of us are on the opposite end of the spectrum, but we tend to be quiet about it, except for my mom, who is both politically opinionated and well-educated on most political topics. In years past, there would be at least one massive fight between Mom and Grandpa sometime during their Christmas visit, leading to hurt feelings and a whole lot of awkwardness.

In the last few years, I have developed many strategies to avoid this sort of situation, because I couldn't take it anymore. Fortunately Mom agrees with me and has managed to avoid reacting to Grandpa's more out-there comments (he's not racist or religiously bigoted or anything like that, which is good because I don't think I could ignore that). This Christmas, I am going to attempt to get into the TiVo and block access to a particular channel he likes to watch non-stop, which would definitely ease the tension. He's just as happy to watch sports anyway ;).

I have two relatives who are about as far apart from each other on the political spectrum as you can get. We've outlawed political talk at family gatherings, but these two always seem to manage to pick at least one political fight with each other. And then complain that the other one is unreasonable.  ::)

Last year, I changed the subject several times when they got into it and they both managed to bring things back to politics. Other family members actually commented that they were astounded by how dogged these two were in refusing to let me change the subject. 

This year, I will change the topic once. If they don't let it drop, I'm going to get up and walk out of the room. I love my family, but I think that I'll love them even more if I don't have to listen to them fight with each other.

auntiem

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #51 on: October 27, 2011, 07:52:13 PM »
Family Thankgiving was my first hill of my life actually. I had to learn how to not play the game "Outrage"tm.
The rules of "Outrage"tm : The following things are fair game 1) everyone at the adult's table 2) every event / past wrong (real and percieved) 3) religion (nearly every family group was a different religion or non-religion) 4) politics 5) scientific opinions 6) what you eat / don't eat. The person who wins is the person who riles up the most people - if you can rile the entire table and have someone stomp away from the table then you are an Outrage Master.
Now, I leaned to play from observing the adult's table from the kid's table and when I felt old enough I asked to sit at the adult's table. If you sat at the adult's table you could have wine. I quickly learned why. Regardless of my age (I think I was 14 at the time) I was a player in the game and I lost - badly.
It took years (and getting past teen hormones) but I finally patented my "I'm Switzerland" stand in the game. You can't win or lose a game you aren't participating in.

SPuck

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #52 on: October 27, 2011, 09:19:42 PM »
I have two relatives who are about as far apart from each other on the political spectrum as you can get. We've outlawed political talk at family gatherings, but these two always seem to manage to pick at least one political fight with each other. And then complain that the other one is unreasonable.  ::)

Last year, I changed the subject several times when they got into it and they both managed to bring things back to politics. Other family members actually commented that they were astounded by how dogged these two were in refusing to let me change the subject. 

This year, I will change the topic once. If they don't let it drop, I'm going to get up and walk out of the room. I love my family, but I think that I'll love them even more if I don't have to listen to them fight with each other.

My grandfather is like this though the only person who really riles him up is my dad's best friend, basically my dad's surrogate brother. One summer they left both of them alone with me, brother, and cousin (I think we were around ten at the time). I don't remember the argument but I do remember it was about 5 hours and went past sunset.

Anyway to stop the political shenanigans you don't change the subject you stop the subject. Use words like "you are ruining the holiday." At least thats what my mom does to get my grandpa to stop.

Mind you it doesn't help when other relatives purposely antagonize him.

weeblewobble

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #53 on: October 28, 2011, 07:05:03 AM »
I have two relatives who are about as far apart from each other on the political spectrum as you can get. We've outlawed political talk at family gatherings, but these two always seem to manage to pick at least one political fight with each other. And then complain that the other one is unreasonable.  ::)

Last year, I changed the subject several times when they got into it and they both managed to bring things back to politics. Other family members actually commented that they were astounded by how dogged these two were in refusing to let me change the subject. 

This year, I will change the topic once. If they don't let it drop, I'm going to get up and walk out of the room. I love my family, but I think that I'll love them even more if I don't have to listen to them fight with each other.

My grandfather is like this though the only person who really riles him up is my dad's best friend, basically my dad's surrogate brother. One summer they left both of them alone with me, brother, and cousin (I think we were around ten at the time). I don't remember the argument but I do remember it was about 5 hours and went past sunset.

Anyway to stop the political shenanigans you don't change the subject you stop the subject. Use words like "you are ruining the holiday." At least thats what my mom does to get my grandpa to stop.

Mind you it doesn't help when other relatives purposely antagonize him.

We have an Angry Uncle in my family who has extreme views about well... everything.  Religion, politics, sexuality, TV, gun control, international adoption, the recipe for Twinkie filling- any conversational topic can turn in to an all-out screaming rant.  The funny thing is, no one IS actually arguing with him.  We all learned a long time ago not to engage. But still, every holiday is marked by ranting and raving loud enough to wake sleeping babies three roooms away, before the pie can even be served. 

Last Thanksgiving I'd had enough. Uncle was yelling about education funding and I got up and left the dining room table in the middle of the meal to eat in the living room to eat with the kids.  He wasn't ranting at me, just his "general audience."  It was one of those weird, out of body moments where you haven't necessarily made a decision, but your limbs are moving you in a certain direction. I was just so tired of it and upset and frustrated, the next thing I knew, I was walking with a plate in my hands.

Was I rude? Possibly.  To be honest, Uncle barely noticed I left and as soon as I was settled at the kids table, started his education funding rant anew.  A few minutes later husband joined me in the living room, as did two aunts. If the meal had gone on longer, I think Uncle would have been the only person left at the table.

This year, we won't have to worry about it, as Angry Uncle has divorced out of the family. (A megathread unto itself.)
« Last Edit: October 28, 2011, 07:07:06 AM by weeblewobble »

iradney

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #54 on: October 28, 2011, 09:42:37 AM »
This is a possible future hill - Christmas dinner, we eat it together around a table. Currently our groundfloor apartment doesn't have any space for a dining room table, so we sit on the couch and precariously balance plates on our knees. Hopefully next year we'll have a proper house, and I would dearly like to be able to deck the table out with good china, cutlery, a posy of pretty flowers and sit around and eat. Even if it's just the two of us. And set up a christmas tree - we have one, but the aforementioned tiny apartment doesn't allow for it.

Oh, and if people want to drop by unannounced, they will be firmly and politely turned away. (FIL has a terrible habit of just showing up. Even 24 hours notice would be incredibly awesome).
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Thipu1

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #55 on: October 28, 2011, 10:41:15 AM »
A possibility for the Christmas Tree.

I assume it's artificial. If so, does it come in parts?  Would it be possible to set up the top section as a small table tree?  We've done that when space or time is tight.  It's not a perfect solution but it does make the place feel like Christmas.

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #56 on: October 28, 2011, 10:53:26 AM »
My hill to die on is Thanksgiving. I'm spending it at the beach. It had been Chip's and my tradition since 2000, and when Chip and I split up, I decided something had to go normal in my life. So last year I went alone for the first time and survived it quite well, thank you. I'm looking forward to this year.

Every year Mother has tried to guilt me out of going. The upshot is, she doesn't want to have Thanksgiving with my sister and Sissie's in-laws, but she doesn't want to say no to my sister, either. So she expects ME (and before the split, me and Chip) to drop our tradition and either come eat with Sissie (and I won't because I can't stand her SIL) or let Mother cook us a big Thanksgiving dinner (which she is no longer able to do).

So sorry, Mother, I'm going to the beach and will continue to do so every Thanksgiving that God lets me live.
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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #57 on: October 28, 2011, 11:11:05 AM »
I have two relatives who are about as far apart from each other on the political spectrum as you can get. We've outlawed political talk at family gatherings, but these two always seem to manage to pick at least one political fight with each other. And then complain that the other one is unreasonable.  ::)

Last year, I changed the subject several times when they got into it and they both managed to bring things back to politics. Other family members actually commented that they were astounded by how dogged these two were in refusing to let me change the subject. 

This year, I will change the topic once. If they don't let it drop, I'm going to get up and walk out of the room. I love my family, but I think that I'll love them even more if I don't have to listen to them fight with each other.

My grandfather is like this though the only person who really riles him up is my dad's best friend, basically my dad's surrogate brother. One summer they left both of them alone with me, brother, and cousin (I think we were around ten at the time). I don't remember the argument but I do remember it was about 5 hours and went past sunset.

Anyway to stop the political shenanigans you don't change the subject you stop the subject. Use words like "you are ruining the holiday." At least thats what my mom does to get my grandpa to stop.

Mind you it doesn't help when other relatives purposely antagonize him.

We have an uncle who is like this. But he'll argue with anyone about anything. But there's an easy way to shut it down... get a kid to demand his attention. He's a sucker for little ones and their presence magically softens his tone.

Thankfully he's also great with kids so they flock to him. Its a family joke that "Uncle A is getting loud... Hey BabyCousin, Uncle has a cupcake for you, go get a bite!"
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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #58 on: October 28, 2011, 11:23:09 AM »
Family Thankgiving was my first hill of my life actually. I had to learn how to not play the game "Outrage"tm.
The rules of "Outrage"tm : The following things are fair game 1) everyone at the adult's table 2) every event / past wrong (real and percieved) 3) religion (nearly every family group was a different religion or non-religion) 4) politics 5) scientific opinions 6) what you eat / don't eat. The person who wins is the person who riles up the most people - if you can rile the entire table and have someone stomp away from the table then you are an Outrage Master.
Now, I leaned to play from observing the adult's table from the kid's table and when I felt old enough I asked to sit at the adult's table. If you sat at the adult's table you could have wine. I quickly learned why. Regardless of my age (I think I was 14 at the time) I was a player in the game and I lost - badly.
It took years (and getting past teen hormones) but I finally patented my "I'm Switzerland" stand in the game. You can't win or lose a game you aren't participating in.

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Xallanthia

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #59 on: October 28, 2011, 12:10:09 PM »
A possibility for the Christmas Tree.

I assume it's artificial. If so, does it come in parts?  Would it be possible to set up the top section as a small table tree?  We've done that when space or time is tight.  It's not a perfect solution but it does make the place feel like Christmas.

It's hard to set up just part of an artificial tree, the way they come together.

That doesn't rule out a small tree, though.  My artificial tree is 3' tall and cost $10.  Perfect for tiny apartments.