ETA: I think I love anna_garny's BIL.
Me too. Does he have a girlfriend?
I have two major hills this holiday season. Hill #1:
Mr.#2's family is heeeeuuuuyyyyge and they get together and insist we come on every holiday, semi-holiday and non-holiday. And every occasion has the same script:
Everyone arrives at least 1/2 hour late.
Hors d'ouevres are served and too many are eaten, so no one is hungry for dinner. Bonus points if there are no vegetarian options.
Dinner is served two hours into the party, and is lukewarm. No one has a table large enough to fit us all, so seating is catch as catch can. No one cares because they're all too full from too many hors d'ouevres. Except for the vegetarians, who are bravely eating the lukewarm side dishes and filling up on bread. (For those of you playing along at home, repeated offers to bring a vegetarian dish to share have been turned down.)
Dessert is served and someone objects to the whipped cream/pie/frosting/napkin colors.
Wives, mothers and aunts trample each other in too-small kitchen to clean up. Men folk wander off and do not help. Kids wander off and play.
Uncle B. starts to rant about latest political scandal/minority group/the price of tea in China.
Uncle K. puts on loud music to drown him out. It's usually greatest hits of the 80s.
Uncle B., who just *has* to be the center of attention, asks various aunts to dance. Some say yes, some say no.
When he runs out of aunts, he dances in the center of the room while others jeer at him (He's not even drunk! He doesn't drink! I wish that was his excuse!
I look pointedly at my watch and then Mr. #2, repeatedly. Nevertheless, we never leave before midnight.
This happens to.the.letter. Every.time. This year I got a bye because Great-niece is turning 1 the Sunday before Thanksgiving and Jr. and I are flying to Niece's house to celebrate and stay for Thanksgiving. But I really, really, really don't want to do this for the December holidays. The problem is too many hurt feelings if we don't go at all or if we go Christmas Eve and not Christmas Night or some other reduced combination. I may get a week long sickness called aversiontolargeloudfamilyholiday.
Still with me?
My mother has always been, er, um, well, difficult. She has a hair trigger temper and looks to take offense where none is meant. She is entitled and diety forbid, never wrong. The stories I could tell would fill up any remaining bandwidth on eHell's server, trust me.
She also has begun to slip into senior dementia. Big time. Because my only remaining sibling lives out of state, helping Mom has fallen to me. But she doesn't want help. She wants to belittle, yell at and argue with me, then 10 minutes later forget that she was belittling, yelling and arguing with me. And then start the cycle all over again. I really, really, really don't want to have her over for Christmas Day (before we go to Mr.#2's family). Yes, I'm a bad daughter.