Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 243212 times)

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MrTango

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #150 on: November 10, 2011, 12:40:23 PM »
Another possibility for the Christmas tree.  Do you have any clear empty wall space?  Create a tree out of construction paper and decorate with stickers.  You may even find a way to attach lights.  Not a perfect solution but sounds like a way to decorate without sacrificing floor or counter space.

 :o you're brilliant. Why didn't I think of that? Thank you!  ;D   ;D  ;D

^_^  You're welcome.  Please post pictures when you're done.

I think cutting it from foam core would work well. You could poke small Christmas lights through it, hiding the ugly wiring behind it, and use pins to hold ornaments up, as long as they aren't too heavy.

Another alternative would be to cut it from green felt - it would look great, reusable and still cheap.

Not a bad idea.  Just be careful that the lights don't melt the foam.

Seven Ate Nine

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #151 on: November 10, 2011, 04:13:25 PM »
Another possibility for the Christmas tree.  Do you have any clear empty wall space?  Create a tree out of construction paper and decorate with stickers.  You may even find a way to attach lights.  Not a perfect solution but sounds like a way to decorate without sacrificing floor or counter space.

 :o you're brilliant. Why didn't I think of that? Thank you!  ;D   ;D  ;D

^_^  You're welcome.  Please post pictures when you're done.

I think cutting it from foam core would work well. You could poke small Christmas lights through it, hiding the ugly wiring behind it, and use pins to hold ornaments up, as long as they aren't too heavy.

Another alternative would be to cut it from green felt - it would look great, reusable and still cheap.

Not a bad idea.  Just be careful that the lights don't melt the foam.

Try LED lights.  They almost don't give off any heat at all.

gmatoy

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #152 on: November 10, 2011, 11:41:18 PM »
My hill came when I was 26 and asked my Mum if I could come home for Christmas and she wouldn't have me.  It was the last time I asked.
I asked in October and her reaction was so toxic, I didn't dare mention the subject again.  quote]

Thank goodness this post has a happy ending, because that first sentence kind of broke me heart a little bit.
My MIL did something like that to my DH. We live 3000 miles away from DH's family. He called her and said something about coming home. She said she wasn't up to having company. She called her own son "company."  She did ask him if he knew something about her health that she didn't know. (No, MIL, but did you think to ask about his health?)  Yeah, there is a reason we live so far away, why did you ask?

gmatoy

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #153 on: November 10, 2011, 11:58:23 PM »
Our hill to die on was my DH telling my mother (who he loves very much) that we would be at her house when our children had finished opening their gifts and not before. He pointed out that all gift giving stops when someone was on the telephone and so repeated calls delayed our arrival. Boom! No more calls! ( He can say anything and she won't say "boo" to him...so when she tries to bring it up with me, I say, "You need to talk to DH about that.") ;D

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #154 on: November 11, 2011, 12:44:12 PM »
So, get this now.  Normally our family Christmas dinner on Christmas day is several of the families that live in the same area, gathered at my parents' house and there are usually enough of us that I can avoid dealing with my sister altogether and it's a relatively stress-free and enjoyable experience because at the very least, I get to catch up with my cousins who I don't see nearly enough throughout the year.

But this year, we're having a small dinner on the 17th, because my parents are jetting off to Palm Springs this year for Christmas.  So it'll be just the four of us.  Which means no avoiding my sister and her constant stream of passive-aggressive comments, degradation and rudeness.  To be honest, I don't think I can handle it.  I have a mild anxiety attack every time I think about it.

So I'm thinking of chickening out and talking to my mother and explaining to her that while I definitely want some Christmas time with my parents and I want to see them before they go on holiday, I just don't think I can handle an evening with my sister with no one else around.  I hope we can come to some kind of alternate arrangement, because frankly it'd be a total Christmas-ruiner for me to have to deal with my sister and her behaviour. She was nasty to me at Thanksgiving so I have no doubt her attitude will not have improved for Christmas time.

And I know a lot of people...probably you folks as well...will probably say something like "try not to let it get to you" or something to that effect, but I've been putting up with this for many years and just cannot take it any more.  I know that if I have to deal with her, I'll say something nasty that will be far far worse than just avoiding the whole situation.
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gramma dishes

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #155 on: November 11, 2011, 01:23:46 PM »
We wouldn't say that.  We all know you've done the "try not to let it get to you" thing and it hasn't worked.  So I say avoid away!  No point ruining a whole perfectly good holiday! 

blue2000

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #156 on: November 11, 2011, 01:54:33 PM »
It is perfectly polite to say in advance that you'd rather not hear that kind of talk. Sometimes "not letting it get to you" involves walking away.
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DCGirl

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #157 on: November 11, 2011, 03:59:16 PM »
Some of you may know this store from elsewhere on the web (an in-laws board on iVillage)....

My FIL refuses to hire professionals to do any work on his house, on the assumption that all plumbers, electricians, carpenters, and other specialties are crooks who are out to cheat you by telling you that something is wrong when it really isn't it.  So, my ILs house is in deplorable condition after decades of FIL's half-a$$ed amateur repairs.  In particular, the house has a serious mold and mildew probelm, in large part because the roof has never been replaced (built in 1964, the house has its original roof with multiple layers of bad patch jobs).   One year, I ended up in Urgent Care the day after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas because of an allergic reaction to all the mold in the house.  In particular, I develped an allergic reaction called atopic dermatitis which is a weeping rash. I then developed a secondary bacterial infection in the rash. 

The ILs' attitude ranged from "there's no mold problem here" to treating me like the heroine in "The Princess and the Pea".  ("Well, maybe there's a teeny little bit of mold, but the only reason that it brothers you is because you're such a high-maintenance princess.")

So, my hill was that I not have to attend events in that house.  It took about six months in marriage counseling to bring DH around to the point where he would stand up to his parents.

We did a couple of Thanksgivings and Christmases in restaurants, then when DH and I bought a house large enough to host everyone, we started holding things at our house.  Even at that, we still have to listen to FIL say that it just isn't Christmas if he can't open presents in his own home.  One year I smiled sweetly and told him he was welcome to cart his presents home and do so if he wanted.

weeblewobble

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #158 on: November 11, 2011, 06:56:57 PM »
DCGirl, I'm so glad you and DH have worked this out!

And frankly, I think I would tell FIL that it doesn't feel like the holidays if you have to spend them in the emergency room!

Luci

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #159 on: November 11, 2011, 07:18:00 PM »
So, get this now.  Normally our family Christmas dinner on Christmas day is several of the families that live in the same area, gathered at my parents' house and there are usually enough of us that I can avoid dealing with my sister altogether and it's a relatively stress-free and enjoyable experience because at the very least, I get to catch up with my cousins who I don't see nearly enough throughout the year.

But this year, we're having a small dinner on the 17th, because my parents are jetting off to Palm Springs this year for Christmas.  So it'll be just the four of us.  Which means no avoiding my sister and her constant stream of passive-aggressive comments, degradation and rudeness.  To be honest, I don't think I can handle it.  I have a mild anxiety attack every time I think about it.

So I'm thinking of chickening out and talking to my mother and explaining to her that while I definitely want some Christmas time with my parents and I want to see them before they go on holiday, I just don't think I can handle an evening with my sister with no one else around.  I hope we can come to some kind of alternate arrangement, because frankly it'd be a total Christmas-ruiner for me to have to deal with my sister and her behaviour. She was nasty to me at Thanksgiving so I have no doubt her attitude will not have improved for Christmas time.

And I know a lot of people...probably you folks as well...will probably say something like "try not to let it get to you" or something to that effect, but I've been putting up with this for many years and just cannot take it any more.  I know that if I have to deal with her, I'll say something nasty that will be far far worse than just avoiding the whole situation.

I tried to clip this, but couldn't do it that made sense.

Good for your parents for jetting off and yet still planning a nice seasonal get to gether for you. PLEASE, whatever you do, don't make your parents feel guilty about abandoning you. They are doing what they need to do to enjoy the family and each other. Isn't that wonderful?

Why do you feel that you must see your sister on Christmas? You will have had it already with the whole family. If she pushes, just say you have plans for that day and be done with it.

I'm not saying 'get over it'. I'm saying 'just say no'. And again, please don't guilt your parents. If they ask why you didn't see Sis on Christmas, beandip, ignore, change the subject. My favorite answer is something I learned from our daughter when she was 2 :
Because I didn't.

Wendy Moira Angela Pan

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #160 on: November 11, 2011, 07:50:26 PM »
Luci45, I think GreenEyedHawk means that her parents are having a family dinner on the 17th before they leave and GEH knows that her sister will be there. It's not that she believes she must visit her sister on Christmas Day, it's that she doesn't want to see her at all.

GreenEyedHawk

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #161 on: November 11, 2011, 08:22:40 PM »
Luci45, I think GreenEyedHawk means that her parents are having a family dinner on the 17th before they leave and GEH knows that her sister will be there. It's not that she believes she must visit her sister on Christmas Day, it's that she doesn't want to see her at all.

Yes, that's right.
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The Wild One, Forever

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #162 on: November 11, 2011, 10:49:03 PM »
Some of you may know this store from elsewhere on the web (an in-laws board on iVillage)....

My FIL refuses to hire professionals to do any work on his house, on the assumption that all plumbers, electricians, carpenters, and other specialties are crooks who are out to cheat you by telling you that something is wrong when it really isn't it.  So, my ILs house is in deplorable condition after decades of FIL's half-a$$ed amateur repairs.  In particular, the house has a serious mold and mildew probelm, in large part because the roof has never been replaced (built in 1964, the house has its original roof with multiple layers of bad patch jobs).   One year, I ended up in Urgent Care the day after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas because of an allergic reaction to all the mold in the house.  In particular, I develped an allergic reaction called atopic dermatitis which is a weeping rash. I then developed a secondary bacterial infection in the rash. 

The ILs' attitude ranged from "there's no mold problem here" to treating me like the heroine in "The Princess and the Pea".  ("Well, maybe there's a teeny little bit of mold, but the only reason that it brothers you is because you're such a high-maintenance princess.")

So, my hill was that I not have to attend events in that house.  It took about six months in marriage counseling to bring DH around to the point where he would stand up to his parents.

We did a couple of Thanksgivings and Christmases in restaurants, then when DH and I bought a house large enough to host everyone, we started holding things at our house.  Even at that, we still have to listen to FIL say that it just isn't Christmas if he can't open presents in his own home.  One year I smiled sweetly and told him he was welcome to cart his presents home and do so if he wanted.

You could also mention that atopic dermatitis is also very painful and hard to get rid of.  (I had a horrible case of it all over my hands back in the nineties.  My dermatologist never did determine what was causing it, but it sort of abated on its own after a couple years, and now I only ever get a small patch of it, from time to time.)

Sorry you had to go through that, and I don't blame you a bit for not wanting to return to that house of horrors.  (Seriously. a roof from 1964?  I can't wrap my head around that number.)
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Luci

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #163 on: November 11, 2011, 11:33:52 PM »
Luci45, I think GreenEyedHawk means that her parents are having a family dinner on the 17th before they leave and GEH knows that her sister will be there. It's not that she believes she must visit her sister on Christmas Day, it's that she doesn't want to see her at all.

Yes, that's right.

I'm confused. You said there would be just the four of you. Oh! Mom, Dad, and two sisters! Got it.

Good luck with that!

artk2002

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #164 on: November 12, 2011, 12:52:15 AM »
I've also seen a 1/2 tree.  Its artificial, about 5 feet tall, green, and looks like a tree was cut vertically down the trunk.  It hangs on the wall sticking out less than a foot.  I don't remember where I saw it. 

I'm another one who refuses to see Mom over the holidays or any other time.  We live 1000 miles apart and I have cats so I always have an excuse for not going out to see her.

For many years, my parents would buy a small, lopsided tree and trim one side off completely and hang it on the wall.  We'd get it fairly late, so watering wasn't an issue.  It kept the tree out of the cats' reach.
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