Thank you for the sentiment. I really have dealt with the families and things have gotten better but will never be perfect. I didn't visit my family for about 6 years, and rarely spoke to them. DH cut his family off after the visit to the apartment to tell us how useless we are. One thing that is very much a button for DH is attacking me. He really let them have it on that one
. Unfortunately, he's not as good at standing up for himself, but he's gotten better.
DH's dad died last year, so most of our contact was during the months before he died and right after he died. The last time he visited before this he went (by himself), drove 6+ hours, stayed for 45 minutes, and then turned around and drove 6+ hours home. He had warned then that he would leave if they started in on either of us, so he did.
The lack of holliday celebrations for the two of us was mostly my doing. After a while I had such a bad attitude about Christmas that we stopped trying. This year I just decided to do what I want to. I am not bothering with my family and DH's family is his problem. I have not bought a single gift this year that is not for DH, myself, a friend, or a family member of my choosing. DH has bought nothing for his side,, he didn't even send cards.
Huh, I guess my hill has come and passed and this is the aftermath of victory. Off to try a nummy recipe for shortbread - it contains cornstarch of all things to make it light and flakey. We'll see. It works for coating chicken to fry, so why not.