I was forced to choose my hill just last year (you know last month?
While many posters on this thread stand up for their right not to slave away in the kitchen on Christmas, I actually had to defend my right to do so.
BG: 2011 had been quite trying. The biggest thing was my widowed father introducing me for the first time (as in I had no knowledge of her whatsoever up to this point and my father lives with me) to his "special friend" in April (on my birthday) and they were married
in September. It wasn't just adjusting to new gf-->FSM-->SM it was doing it do frickityfrackin FAST. Cue emotional roller coaster, counseling etc. etc. New SM seems nice for someone who is still for all intents and purposes a complete stranger. *sigh* End BG
Dad and I are out to lunch in early December. He says something (stated as fact not as a request for plans/feedback) about spending Xmas day with SM and her family (she has 4 grown kids, 2 or which are married so lots of ILs on their side). I was absolutely crushed. I managed to speak past the knot in my chest and inform my father that the traditional Christmas breakfast I have been making for him, myself, my mother when she was alive, and my 3 older brothers for the past 10 years is my gift to the family and I was deeply hurt that he didn't want to attend. I told him that this was the first Christmas celebration I was looking forward to since Mom had died, and I was hurt because it felt as if he was abandoning me to be with his "new" family. I made a point to stress that I was not asking him to choose and that I had been looking forward to having SM come over to share our tradition as well (this invite and the result is another thread for another time
I am proud of myself that I managed to convey my feelings to him w/out being too emotional, or putting him on the defensive.
When he realized it was important to me, he talk to SM and they arranged to celebrate with her family on Xmas Eve and then come to be with us on Xmas Day.
I don't know what will happen this year, but last year felt like it was far less of a disaster then it could have been, had I not chosen my holiday hill to die on.