Your holiday hill to die on.

[Free Range Hippy Chick]

Both my family and DH's are geographically scattered (by UK standards!); I don't get to see mine at all (not a problem, see them at other times) and there is a brief post-Christmas visit by some of DH's in which we cram in as much time together as we can. This usually involves one total-family gathering, usually starting at noon, involving much food and drink, and more often than not this is at our house. One local visitor will offer to bring something, and will bring one dish, sufficient for about one-third of the numbers actually present. Another will offer, and I will usually say no, since she has small children and a large gathering of her own on Christmas Day, and is short on preparation time, and because I like to cook. She always brings wine anyway.

So what's going to be different this year? Firstly, if the travelling part of the family, who aren't in a position to bring food, say 'shall we bring some wine?' I'm going to say yes. Same as I did last year and on previous occasions. If, as on those previous occasions, they turn up without any, and say vaguely 'oh, shall we go over to Shop and get some?' I am going to over-rule DH when he says 'don't bother, we've got enough'. Yes! Do! The vegetarian dish would be best with a very dry white and the beef wants a heavy red. We'll want at least two bottles of each, and you did say you were bringing it so I rather assumed that you meant it.

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food. Probably an indication that there is enough food is the fact that people have been eating and drinking for something in the region of five hours, and there is still food on the table.

So if part of the family wants a further meal, less than two hours after they stop eating what I've presented, then that part can go to the local hotel and order an additional three course meal, same as they've done in previous years. The difference this year is that I am not going with them. I am not paying commercial rates for a large meal I don't want and don't need, and that is, in any event, not as good as the one I've just provided which would sustain any normal person for another twelve hours, and I'm not going short on the wine that either they or I have provided just so that I can drive across town to not have a glass of wine there either because I'll have to drive back afterwards.

When I write it down it doesn't look like a very big hill, but there you are, it's my own. 

[alkira6]

Both my family and DH's are geographically scattered (by UK standards!); I don't get to see mine at all (not a problem, see them at other times) and there is a brief post-Christmas visit by some of DH's in which we cram in as much time together as we can. This usually involves one total-family gathering, usually starting at noon, involving much food and drink, and more often than not this is at our house. One local visitor will offer to bring something, and will bring one dish, sufficient for about one-third of the numbers actually present. Another will offer, and I will usually say no, since she has small children and a large gathering of her own on Christmas Day, and is short on preparation time, and because I like to cook. She always brings wine anyway.

So what's going to be different this year? Firstly, if the travelling part of the family, who aren't in a position to bring food, say 'shall we bring some wine?' I'm going to say yes. Same as I did last year and on previous occasions. If, as on those previous occasions, they turn up without any, and say vaguely 'oh, shall we go over to Shop and get some?' I am going to over-rule DH when he says 'don't bother, we've got enough'. Yes! Do! The vegetarian dish would be best with a very dry white and the beef wants a heavy red. We'll want at least two bottles of each, and you did say you were bringing it so I rather assumed that you meant it.

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food. Probably an indication that there is enough food is the fact that people have been eating and drinking for something in the region of five hours, and there is still food on the table.

So if part of the family wants a further meal, less than two hours after they stop eating what I've presented, then that part can go to the local hotel and order an additional three course meal, same as they've done in previous years. The difference this year is that I am not going with them. I am not paying commercial rates for a large meal I don't want and don't need, and that is, in any event, not as good as the one I've just provided which would sustain any normal person for another twelve hours, and I'm not going short on the wine that either they or I have provided just so that I can drive across town to not have a glass of wine there either because I'll have to drive back afterwards.

When I write it down it doesn't look like a very big hill, but there you are, it's my own.

May I come to yours? I promise to bring lots of wine. 

[AfleetAlex]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

That sounds incredible! What time should I arrive? 

[Coley]

I will not twist myself into a pretzel and let my inlaws or family "double dip" because one person was not available for scheduled holiday festivities. (For example, my brother in law and his family will not be available on Thanksgiving Day.  While we will go to my inlaws for DH's family dinner, I will not go back the next day, when BIL and his family are available, for a repeat performance.) One, because it makes everything super-complicated to schedule, leaving us all exhausted and stressed.  And two, this would force me to have twice the contact with someone whose actions have led my husband and I have drastically reduce contact with and only see on holidays.  For me, "only on holidays" means one visit, not "as many visits as it takes until everybody is present."

It's not that I don't love my parents-in-law, or my parents, I just have to set some limits to maintain my sanity.

Hear, hear. My holiday hill also involves not twisting myself into a pretzel again to accommodate everyone else's holiday schedules.

My problem with the holidays is that my mother and brother exclude me from the planning and scheduling but expect me to be there regardless. My new mantra for the upcoming holiday season came from a wise eHellion who said, "When you make plans without us, you make plans WITHOUT us."

If there will be pretzels at the holidays, they will be the kind that are dipped in chocolate.

[Free Range Hippy Chick]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

That sounds incredible! What time should I arrive? 

Well.........

I never thought of saying that I couldn't have the family over because the house was full of eHellions, but yes, I can see how that works...

OK, people, the post-Christmas party is at mine. And further to the thread about coming for dinner and what it means, doors open at noon for drinks and nibbles, we'll eat about three, and I expect there will still be people around at midnight. Come when you like, stay as long as you like.

[Maggie]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

That sounds incredible! What time should I arrive? 

Well.........

I never thought of saying that I couldn't have the family over because the house was full of eHellions, but yes, I can see how that works...

OK, people, the post-Christmas party is at mine. And further to the thread about coming for dinner and what it means, doors open at noon for drinks and nibbles, we'll eat about three, and I expect there will still be people around at midnight. Come when you like, stay as long as you like.

Definitely need a like button for this! 

[Susiqzer]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

That sounds incredible! What time should I arrive? 

Well.........

I never thought of saying that I couldn't have the family over because the house was full of eHellions, but yes, I can see how that works...

OK, people, the post-Christmas party is at mine. And further to the thread about coming for dinner and what it means, doors open at noon for drinks and nibbles, we'll eat about three, and I expect there will still be people around at midnight. Come when you like, stay as long as you like.

Definitely need a like button for this! 

Agreed! That sounds like my dream holiday: hang out for ours with people I like, drinking wine and eating wonderful food! Sadly, I'm on the wrong continent...

[gramma dishes]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

That sounds incredible! What time should I arrive? 

Well.........

I never thought of saying that I couldn't have the family over because the house was full of eHellions, but yes, I can see how that works...

OK, people, the post-Christmas party is at mine. And further to the thread about coming for dinner and what it means, doors open at noon for drinks and nibbles, we'll eat about three, and I expect there will still be people around at midnight. Come when you like, stay as long as you like.

Definitely need a like button for this! 

Agreed! That sounds like my dream holiday: hang out for ours with people I like, drinking wine and eating wonderful food! Sadly, I'm on the wrong continent...

I want to come too.  Maybe if we all got together, we could charter a plane!   

[Jelaza]

I have never had a holiday hill, but I've decided to climb one this year.  I will not be doing any Christmas shopping at retail stores that are open on Thanksgiving or ridiculously early for Black Friday (i.e. "midnight after Thanksgiving - 6 AM, or even 5 AM, I won't object, although I won't be shopping then myself).  Convenience stores can definitely be open on Thanksgiving; that's why they are "convenience" stores, because they are open extra time.  Grocery stores I can live with, especially those ones that are open because they have a pharmacy (sometimes people need to fill prescriptions unexpectedly).  Target, Kohl's, JC Penney (disclaimer: I don't know if any of these 3 will be doing this) type stores, stay the heck closed and let your employees celebrate Thanksgiving.  Especially do not make someone go to work on Thanksgiving afternoon and work for 12 hours (not that I'd have shopped at Wal-Mart anyway).

My mother disagrees with me on this.  She thinks the convenience stores can be open, and anyone who didn't get off their duff and buy their groceries at least the day before can pay the convenience store prices or go without, and the grocery store employees should get the day off, too.  I was surprised; I thought she'd have the opposite attitude and that the employees should work whenever the stores required them, too.

[doodlemor]

I will not be doing any Christmas shopping at retail stores that are open on Thanksgiving or ridiculously early for Black Friday (i.e. "midnight after Thanksgiving - 6 AM, or even 5 AM.....

Good for you, Jelaza.  I plan to do the same thing. 

[gramma dishes]

Two of my kids worked at (competing) grocery stores when they were in high school.  Both stores stayed open from something like 7:00am till 1:00pm for people who ran out of cinnamon for the pumpkin pie and stuff like that.  The people who were willing to work those hours on that day got something like triple overtime pay, so they really didn't mind.  Their families just didn't serve the Thanksgiving meal until the store workers got home.

[Jelaza]

gramma dishes - That's actually why I have no problem with grocery stores being open for part of the day.  At least one, if not both, of the bigger local grocery chains are union, so there's no way that some kind of pay differential for working the holiday hasn't been negotiated.

I do, however, feel that there's no excuse for running out of cinnamon at any time.  (I have 2 big things of cinnamon at home, and I have a plastic shaker of cinnamon in my desk drawer at work, for the days that take oatmeal in to eat on my morning break.)

[gramma dishes]

I do, however, feel that there's no excuse for running out of cinnamon at any time.  (I have 2 big things of cinnamon at home, and I have a plastic shaker of cinnamon in my desk drawer at work, for the days that take oatmeal in to eat on my morning break.)

LOL!!   

[amyg]

I do, however, feel that there's no excuse for running out of cinnamon at any time.  (I have 2 big things of cinnamon at home, and I have a plastic shaker of cinnamon in my desk drawer at work, for the days that take oatmeal in to eat on my morning break.)

Well, it depends on whether any cinnamon will do, or whether one has developed a taste for Vietnamese cinnamon that's only sold in a tiny store in Murray Hill. (But I tend to obsess. This is why I now have five different kinds of drinking vinegar in the house.)

[siamesecat2965]

I will not be doing any Christmas shopping at retail stores that are open on Thanksgiving or ridiculously early for Black Friday (i.e. "midnight after Thanksgiving - 6 AM, or even 5 AM.....

Good for you, Jelaza.  I plan to do the same thing. 

I won't either. I will howver, be running errands as that's my optimal time to go. Some grocery shopping, getting new tires on my car, taking some things to the tailor, that kind of stuff. And I will be working on friday ngith of black friday at my retail job.