This is a new one for DF and me, but we are in agreement on this.
Every year, because our families live out of town, we end up traveling (driving) for Thanksgiving and Christmas and, sometimes, Easter (we've been ill for a couple of Easters). This year, my car will need new brakes soon, and we are minimizing travel so that the brakes will not need to be replaced until after our wedding in January when we could afford to replace them. Anyway, that means we've agreed we are not going anywhere that is really going to put additional wear and stress on the brakes so we are not traveling for the holidays. DF's aunt, nice lady that she normally is, gets a really fixed idea in her head that things need to be the way she wants them for the holidays so, tonight, when DF told her we won't be able to drive out there for Christmas, she actually suggested we take the stupid train (he said no and pointed out that would be a 2-hr+ trip each way for us). She then had the audacity to suggest that DF's brother and wife have two cars so we should ask to borrow one. Again, DF said no, we are not going to ask to borrow one of their cars. Aunt then told DF that she really wants us there for Christmas so she'll ask FBIL for us (I learned of all of this after he got off the phone since I wasn't really paying attention). I just looked at DF and requested he contact his brother directly and let him know we have no intention of asking to borrow one of their cars so that FBIL doesn't end up thinking that this is what we wanted.
? *We* have to make it out here because SHE wants us to so she doesn't care how it happens as long as she gets what she wants?
? I don't think so (and neither does DF). We'll be staying in town this year. We know this. We're not thrilled about it, but that's part of being able to afford our wedding in January. I'm really peeved right now at his aunt that it's far more important that she gets what she wants (including always hosting the holiday at her house) rather than consider alternatives (like the fact they could all come out here for a change since we bought a house this year). Incidentally, she hasn't been happy in past years when we've indicated we're going to visit MY family for a specific holiday, but we've ignored her when she's indicated dismay or unhappiness about this. My feeling is she has no right to be selfish and expect us to spend every holiday with her (my own mother isn't that way and understands and this is my MOTHER, rather than DF's aunt who falls under extended family).