Your holiday hill to die on.

[snowdragon]

I also think that when the next person is killed at one of these events the cops should arrest every adult customer, the manager, and every officer in the corporation for murder. The poor retail workers should not be punished they are just trying to put food on their tables.

I've worked several black Fridays ( both recently and as far back as the first Cabbage Patch Craze) and really the vast majority of people who do this are not guilty of anything chargeable at all - much less murder. Yes, it's sad that SOME people push and shove and such but the vast, vast majority are NOT doing anything but shopping. Most managers also put on extra security - and they can do so because the corporation gives them the extra funding to do so. NO ONE in any store wants to see someone hurt  or killed, but charging 99% of the folks who are merely there shopping because 1% ( probably less than that) misbehaved? Sorry, that's not right?

[weeblewobble]

Could we please curtail the Black Friday discussion before it gets the thread closed?  There's a separate Black Friday thread in the Coffee Break folder.  Thanks.

[weeblewobble]

One of my holiday hills is my brother's in laws.
 
 We invited them three years ago, they came in and rearranged the place cards to their liking. Leaving me with no where to sit -at my own table! 'There's not enough room for you' was actually said. I was "squeezed in" at the corner, where I did not have enough room even to put my feet at the base of my chair. Then every time I tried to talk to someone they spoke over me and when I asked for plates of food to be passed they would not make the effort to pass to me. They were actually the rudest guests I have ever had - and SIL was not pleased, but "since the family won't accommodate my family by getting reservations somewhere where we all can fit, I will be with my family, if Mark wants to be with you he can but don't expect me." 
 Not sure what's going on there, because usually she's a lovely woman, but I will not go out for dinner just because her family must be at all holidays. She has not come to any holiday with our family since.
 

The bolded would probably make me angry enough that these people would be invited to vacate the table, if not my house. That is the one of the rudest stories I've ever read here. And shame on your SIL.  1) For letting her family treat you this way.  And 2) For being so inflexible that she makes everyone suffer through her family's boorishness.

[Drawberry]

Last year I bought myself a Kindle, wrapped it up and put it under the tree, and I was delighted by my thoughtfulness!

I have to say this is the funniest thing I think I've ever read on this board. No one appreciates your thoughtfulness quite like yourself

I think I've had a 'hill to die on' since I was old enough to understand family dynamics, at 23 I highly doubt I'll have the same sort of experiences to tell so I'll leave you to add up an alcoholic uncle, enabling controlling grandmother, and a controlling anxious aunt and see what results you come up with. Needless to say holidays as a child where not always the greatest when family get together's came around.

Now I am with Boyfriend and I am out of touch with many of my own family so we are going to spend Thanksgiving with his mothers side of the family. I also happen to have social anxiety disorder to varying degrees of severity. Sometimes I can muster the energy to get through big events, sometimes I feel like I am having a breakdown and events are emotionally draining. Big family events with my own family where stressful enough, despite thinking fondly of Boyfriends family I foresee a lot of awkwardness and anxiousness this holiday season.

[Luci]

Last Christmas day I was hostess for my children, grandchildren, parents of  daughter-in-law, and Lucas's brother, D - unmarried uncle, no ladyfriend for that day. 15 guests with formal settings. I'm used to that, still a lot of work, planning, supervising. Uncle D is following me around, talking to me, following me into the bathroom (!). He was going on and on and on about the incredible events and vagaries of fate that led up to his parents' marriage and some other really interesting family history. Yes! I do that. Maybe that's why I'm into genealogy so much?

Anyway, I'd had it! I said, "And the most random thing is that one particular spern and one particular egg got together to make each one of us!" I never saw a 70 year old man blush and run before!

I told Lucas that I will host brother D again, but NEVER be alone with him.

It worked a couple of weeks ago for our Harvest Feast. Wish me luck for Christmas day.

[KenveeB]

Last year I bought myself a Kindle, wrapped it up and put it under the tree, and I was delighted by my thoughtfulness!

I have to say this is the funniest thing I think I've ever read on this board. No one appreciates your thoughtfulness quite like yourself

I'm always impressed with what excellent taste my pets have when picking out birthday and Mother's Day gifts for me.

[siamesecat2965]

Heh.  I have a tub full of damask napkins and linen tablecloth.  We haven't used them in a few years.  Maybe it's time to break 'em out!  I like having them and they aren't getting more valuable or beautiful sitting in the tub out in the shed!   And I CAN reach them, too! 

Amen! I hate all this stuff that's "too good" to use. People end up saving it for an occasion and then never use it even on those occasions, so it just gets wasted. I'd rather use my nice stuff and risk the occasional breakage than have it just collect dust somewhere!

My mom subscribes to this theory. When I come down to visit, she will use the good silver for regular meals.  Its just the two of us so not a lot of extra work, even though they need to be hand-washed. And it makes it a bit nicer.

[stitchygreyanonymouse]

This year, our hill is that we are hosting a family-free Thanksgiving for ourselves and a friend or two.

Last Thanksgiving, we went to his family’s house. We were supposed to eat at 1, so we hadn’t had lunch, and only a light breakfast. We didn’t eat until after 5, and there was no other food in the house. I tried to help, but his mom "wanted it to be perfect" and has her own ways of doing it and didn’t want my help with most things. The same thing happens every time we eat there, although never with so long of a delay.

So, we’re not going there, and since we can’t cook a turkey (no oven), we’re just hosting a small get together with turkey breasts and whatever else we decide to cook.

So much less stressful.

[mumma to KMC]

My hill to die on with my husband's family (we used to live near by and they were who we did most of our Holiday-ing with). My MIL expected us all to get together for the "upcoming holiday" but details were not decided until a day or two before the event (and sometimes, not on the holiday itself). One year, I said to my dh* that if we didn't hear about Easter plans at least two weeks before the date, we were doing our own thing.

On the Sunday two weeks before Easter, a good friend invited us to come to her house to celebrate Easter with her family. I checked with my dh and he said it's a great idea, so we agreed. At some point, I think maybe on Holy Thursday, we were told the details of Easter at my in-laws. We informed them that we would be able to stop by for a bit in the afternoon, but we weren't able to come for lunch, because we would be with the H family. That didn't go over well.

On Easter Sunday, we spent a great time with the H family, then headed to my in laws. Everyone was there already, the food was eaten, and we got a few snide comments from one brother.  We stayed for an hour and left. (Mainly because the conversation was really not kid friendly and I stood my ground on that one as well.) It felt good.

The other hill I died on was the Gift Exchange. We have permanently removed ourselves from it and finally gotten my MIL to understand that no gifts will be coming for us. (We aren't cheap, it's just that we want to focus on the Birth of Christ rather than the gift giving.) The last time we participated, we sent gifts out timely to the four people we drew, and our kids got gifts, in August, when we were home to visit.

[ladyknight1]

Another thing I remembered during my commute today.

I will not tolerate people around me criticizing what others eat or how much they eat any time, much less on the holidays. I had forgotten the criticism until I heard a mom telling off her grown son for what he ordered at a restaurant.

[Garden Goblin]

Current Holiday Hill to Die On -

I am only plucking turkeys that are going into my oven.  You want one of the 4 30+lb monstrosities remaining that we are willing to just give away, pluck it yourself.

[hobish]

Current Holiday Hill to Die On -

I am only plucking turkeys that are going into my oven.  You want one of the 4 30+lb monstrosities remaining that we are willing to just give away, pluck it yourself.

Oh, goodness. I've never plucked a turkey, but chicken plucking is pretty much my least favorite farm chore. Gish wants chickens and i have already warned him i am not doing any plucking.

[Drawberry]

Another thing I remembered during my commute today.

I will not tolerate people around me criticizing what others eat or how much they eat any time, much less on the holidays. I had forgotten the criticism until I heard a mom telling off her grown son for what he ordered at a restaurant.

You and me both, LadyKnight.

Guilt free food? Oh you mean ALL food! Because I am not going to feel guilty, or make others feel guilty, over enjoying their holiday in the manner they chose. Pass me that pie, because I will eat the entire thing and never look back.

[ladyknight1]

My boss was telling me she only eats white meat, but cooks a whole turkey. We were talking about what we each make for the feast. When I said that I make a roast crisp-skinned turkey, she mentioned how bad it is to eat poultry skin, then went on to list the all-carb sides and desserts they are having. 

My co-worker and I both think that it is better to enjoy a meal every once in a while that might be "bad" for you than worry about every single thing you put in your mouth.

[Drawberry]

My boss was telling me she only eats white meat, but cooks a whole turkey. We were talking about what we each make for the feast. When I said that I make a roast crisp-skinned turkey, she mentioned how bad it is to eat poultry skin, then went on to list the all-carb sides and desserts they are having. 

My co-worker and I both think that it is better to enjoy a meal every once in a while that might be "bad" for you than worry about every single thing you put in your mouth.

Boyfriends mother is very very self-conscious about her weight (she is small enough that I once mistook a pair of her pants in the dyer for his 3 year old niece's!) and though she never means any personal harm by her comments has a habit of saying things like your boss.

My mother makes similar comments but with the intent of instilling guilt and shame over what I am eating (I gained weight over the past couple years taking hormone pills and she's decided that if she gets me to just starve myself enough until I am 'normal' I'll be fine  ) and after a while I suppose I came to a 'hill' of my own in that sense.

I'll eat what I please and deal with the results myself thanks!