I was going to start a new thread asking what I should do about the holidays...then I revisited this thread and realized that...
I will most likely
And I am giving myself permission to do so.
And anything I will do will be for myself and my own well being and continued sanity.
When my mom was alive she "ran" all family celebrations, because she wanted us to do things as a family.
After she died, my father and I tried to keep the traditions, but some things weren't the same without her.
Now my father is remarried and moved away and celebrated Thanksgiving with his wife's family. He isn't on speaking terms with my brothers, they aren't on speaking terms with him, and I think they all
have their heads up their rear ends and I'm sick of being in the middle.
So Merry dang Xmas to me: if I feel like a tree I'll put one up for myself - otherwise to heck with it. If my brothers want Xmas breakfast like we've been having through the years, they're welcome to ask for my recipes (or else chip in for groceries and/or go shopping with me, help me clean off the dining room table, and set the dang thing while they're at it).
To paraphrase Lois Griffin, I'm not going to pull a happy family Christmas out of my rear end. I'm going to drink hot chocolate, eat gingerbread, and listen to Christmas songs. I'm going to watch "Home Alone" and laugh my tail off.
I'm going to find my own Christmas, instead of killing myself trying to make everyone else's.
Thank you, ehell, for giving me a candy cane spine!!
(helps me stay sweet but strong and a bit 'spicy' lol