Your holiday hill to die on.

[ladyknight1]

I wouldn't want to visit her either. I moved halfway across the country from my family, so it is just the in-laws to deal with around the holidays.

This hill I have thought about all day: I don't want to go to the in-laws for Christmas lunch, I would rather they come over to our townhouse and spend a few hours. They never decorate for the holidays or wrap presents, and their house isn't quite finished after 31 years of living in it. We do all of the cooking anyway, and will have wrapped presents for everyone to open. That will also require them to be completely dressed, and I will feel more comfortable (long story).

I have time!!

My mother-in-law and father-in-law are extremely casual about clothing in their home. Even when having guests or workers over. I don't know if it is a exhibitionist streak they both possess or what. They are both in their 60's and my father-in-law has to be asked to put on a shirt for meals on a regular basis. My mother in law usually wears tank tops that are very tight and revealing with nothing supportive under them. She also wears extremely tight knit short-shorts. I do not consider those as being dressed. MIL and FIL have "work" clothes that involve very old t-shirts with the underarms completely torn out, worn alone as shirts. Even in pajamas, I am wearing more!

I will not let my teenage DS be around them often because of this. All I ask is that everyone wear appropriate clothing that covers them. Especially for celebration meals, I don't think it is too much to ask.

[Piratelvr1121]

I hadn't heard of Black Friday before reading this thread.  Wowzas.  it sounds terrifying.

Nah, it's no worse than the Running of the Bulls in Spain.  In fact, the Running of the Bulls would probably be good practice.   

Only safer.   The bull will just knock you down, trample you, and gore you.  It won't then tear the last TickleMe Elmo from your bleeding hands.

LOL!!!!!!!! I have only once shopped Black Friday and that was because my boys were invited to a party and I ran out to Target in the afternoon to get a present for the kid.   Since it was around 3, it wasn't nearly as bad as it probably was in the morning.

We live near a large outlet chain so my brother and his girlfriend and their family came up this way and shopped for a while, then came over to visit.   The GF got him into the Black Friday experience last year at the Ocean City outlets and he wasn't too eager till he got some good deals on pants.  They said it wasn't too bad at the outlets though, as they didn't get there till noon.

[gadget--gal]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

... and then your guest admit to going out to eat afterwards?? that sounds somewhat ungrateful considering that's a full meal you're serving, not just canapés

[Free Range Hippy Chick]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

... and then your guest admit to going out to eat afterwards?? that sounds somewhat ungrateful considering that's a full meal you're serving, not just canapés

We'll start eating that maybe around two or three. It is never finished, there are always leftovers, so if they want to go around again at six, there's plenty and I have no problem. Last two years, they've said, at seven or so, that we should all go over to their hotel for dinner. I physically cannot eat two meals of three or four courses in one day. If I've eaten that in the early afternoon, I might want one small sandwich at about nine, but they will go out and eat another three full courses. DH has told them that this year we're not doing it, on the grounds that if we do, then as well as the designated driver from the visitors, one of us has to go without a glass of wine, and that they are welcome to stay all day, and we'll feed them again if they want.

So now I have to plan and serve a second meal and I still think that's the better option. I'll just not eat it myself. But it will need to be different, not just more of the same, or they won't see that they've had the correct number of meals in the day. Personally, I wouldn't be bothered about that, but they're DH's relatives, and he would, so that one isn't a hill to die on. No, the hill is that once that food hits the table, that glass of wine has my name on it, and I will not be leaving my house again today, thank you.

One of the visitors complains that she's overweight. I can't imagine why. /cattishness

[Snooks]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

... and then your guest admit to going out to eat afterwards?? that sounds somewhat ungrateful considering that's a full meal you're serving, not just canapés

We'll start eating that maybe around two or three. It is never finished, there are always leftovers, so if they want to go around again at six, there's plenty and I have no problem. Last two years, they've said, at seven or so, that we should all go over to their hotel for dinner. I physically cannot eat two meals of three or four courses in one day. If I've eaten that in the early afternoon, I might want one small sandwich at about nine, but they will go out and eat another three full courses. DH has told them that this year we're not doing it, on the grounds that if we do, then as well as the designated driver from the visitors, one of us has to go without a glass of wine, and that they are welcome to stay all day, and we'll feed them again if they want.

So now I have to plan and serve a second meal and I still think that's the better option. I'll just not eat it myself. But it will need to be different, not just more of the same, or they won't see that they've had the correct number of meals in the day. Personally, I wouldn't be bothered about that, but they're DH's relatives, and he would, so that one isn't a hill to die on. No, the hill is that once that food hits the table, that glass of wine has my name on it, and I will not be leaving my house again today, thank you.

One of the visitors complains that she's overweight. I can't imagine why. /cattishness

I find for about three days over Christmas I'm in a general state of full-ness so I just pick at whatever's in the house rather than eating meals at a specific time.  I can't imagine eating three courses on top of the cheese/bread/turkey/ham/Quality Street/soup/stuffing/leftovers I enjoy picking at through those days.

[caz]

My mother-in-law and father-in-law are extremely casual about clothing in their home. Even when having guests or workers over. I don't know if it is a exhibitionist streak they both possess or what. They are both in their 60's and my father-in-law has to be asked to put on a shirt for meals on a regular basis. My mother in law usually wears tank tops that are very tight and revealing with nothing supportive under them. She also wears extremely tight knit short-shorts. I do not consider those as being dressed. MIL and FIL have "work" clothes that involve very old t-shirts with the underarms completely torn out, worn alone as shirts. Even in pajamas, I am wearing more!

I will not let my teenage DS be around them often because of this. All I ask is that everyone wear appropriate clothing that covers them. Especially for celebration meals, I don't think it is too much to ask.

Thank you, but I might have made a mistake - I don't think I needed that mental image 

[gingerzing]

*My mother complaining about my choice of clothes for holidays.  They are clean, neat and modest.  Not sure why she thinks I should dress a certain way and/or certain colors.

I don't have many yet, but this!!! In my case, it's my grandmother.

Apparently a long purple skirt and cream/black top with black boots (which I wore last year)  isn't "Christmassy enough".

I have actually already been "warned" to dress in some combination of red/green/gold. I was actually intending to wear a red dress, but now I sort of want to make a stand and wear something else!!!

I have a gal at work like this.  I gave her the dead eye one year and told her that this WAS my holiday cheer.   

This year will be amusing since our office party is having "an ugly holiday sweater" contest.  (I have snowflake suspenders and some light up things that I got in my stocking.)

[siamesecat2965]

if I have provided nuts and nibbles, two main courses, a vegetarian option, four sorts of salad, baked potatoes, garlic bread, two desserts, mince pies, cake, Christmas cookies, cheese and biscuits and home made sweets, believe me, there will be enough food.

... and then your guest admit to going out to eat afterwards?? that sounds somewhat ungrateful considering that's a full meal you're serving, not just canapés

We'll start eating that maybe around two or three. It is never finished, there are always leftovers, so if they want to go around again at six, there's plenty and I have no problem. Last two years, they've said, at seven or so, that we should all go over to their hotel for dinner. I physically cannot eat two meals of three or four courses in one day. If I've eaten that in the early afternoon, I might want one small sandwich at about nine, but they will go out and eat another three full courses. DH has told them that this year we're not doing it, on the grounds that if we do, then as well as the designated driver from the visitors, one of us has to go without a glass of wine, and that they are welcome to stay all day, and we'll feed them again if they want.

So now I have to plan and serve a second meal and I still think that's the better option. I'll just not eat it myself. But it will need to be different, not just more of the same, or they won't see that they've had the correct number of meals in the day. Personally, I wouldn't be bothered about that, but they're DH's relatives, and he would, so that one isn't a hill to die on. No, the hill is that once that food hits the table, that glass of wine has my name on it, and I will not be leaving my house again today, thank you.

One of the visitors complains that she's overweight. I can't imagine why. /cattishness

This reminds me of a former BF. He could eat like there was no tomorrow, and I couldnt. Many times on the weekends, we'd go to the diner for breakfast, and have a huge meal; eggs, bacon, potatoes, bagel, etc. and as it was later in the am, I'd be good until dinner, maybe with a small snack inbetween. Not him. 2-3 hours after he'd wonder what we were doing for lunch, and would sometimes get miffed if I declined to go out and eat ANOTHER huge meal! Um, I don't want to get sick, nor am i hungry!

[ladyknight1]

I guess I am in the middle between the 3 large meals camp and the 2 medium meals camp.

We tend to eat a small breakfast on the weekdays, with a larger breakfast on the weekends. We then have a small lunch, maybe just a sandwich or bowl of soup and bread. We then eat a medium dinner. Key is, we are eating the meal together at the table, even if it is something small.

My parents and sisters tend to just snack instead of having meals, with everyone scattered around the TV.

[Snooks]

I have a gal at work like this.  I gave her the dead eye one year and told her that this WAS my holiday cheer.   

This year will be amusing since our office party is having "an ugly holiday sweater" contest.  (I have snowflake suspenders and some light up things that I got in my stocking.)

I totally forgot suspenders in the US are different from suspenders in the UK, made me wonder what sort of office party you were having!

[Elfmama]

I have a gal at work like this.  I gave her the dead eye one year and told her that this WAS my holiday cheer.   

This year will be amusing since our office party is having "an ugly holiday sweater" contest.  (I have snowflake suspenders and some light up things that I got in my stocking.)

I totally forgot suspenders in the US are different from suspenders in the UK, made me wonder what sort of office party you were having!

I know that US suspenders = UK braces -- but what are UK suspenders?

[RingTailedLemur]

I have a gal at work like this.  I gave her the dead eye one year and told her that this WAS my holiday cheer.   

This year will be amusing since our office party is having "an ugly holiday sweater" contest.  (I have snowflake suspenders and some light up things that I got in my stocking.)

I totally forgot suspenders in the US are different from suspenders in the UK, made me wonder what sort of office party you were having!

I know that US suspenders = UK braces -- but what are UK suspenders?

They attach to a belt round your waist and hold stockings up.

[KenveeB]

This reminds me of a former BF. He could eat like there was no tomorrow, and I couldnt. Many times on the weekends, we'd go to the diner for breakfast, and have a huge meal; eggs, bacon, potatoes, bagel, etc. and as it was later in the am, I'd be good until dinner, maybe with a small snack inbetween. Not him. 2-3 hours after he'd wonder what we were doing for lunch, and would sometimes get miffed if I declined to go out and eat ANOTHER huge meal! Um, I don't want to get sick, nor am i hungry!

Let me give you the other side. My dad loves to do the just two meals thing. I can't do it. I get hungry and my blood sugar goes all out of whack. As I've been working hard on eating well, eating a small amount every few hours is very important.  Invariably, he'll decide that his schedule is just fine for everyone when we're all together. Sorry, I can't wait for hours after getting up before eating anything at all, and I need to eat more than twice a day. I shouldn't have to feel like I'm a pig for wanting to eat more often.

So while he shouldn't force you to eat more than you feel comfortable doing, he also shouldn't be made to go hungry just because you're fine eating less.

[Emmy]

My mother-in-law and father-in-law are extremely casual about clothing in their home. Even when having guests or workers over. I don't know if it is a exhibitionist streak they both possess or what. They are both in their 60's and my father-in-law has to be asked to put on a shirt for meals on a regular basis. My mother in law usually wears tank tops that are very tight and revealing with nothing supportive under them. She also wears extremely tight knit short-shorts. I do not consider those as being dressed. MIL and FIL have "work" clothes that involve very old t-shirts with the underarms completely torn out, worn alone as shirts. Even in pajamas, I am wearing more!

I will not let my teenage DS be around them often because of this. All I ask is that everyone wear appropriate clothing that covers them. Especially for celebration meals, I don't think it is too much to ask.

Thank you, but I might have made a mistake - I don't think I needed that mental image 

Yikes, I wouldn't want to see my in-laws (or parents) in that state.  I don't have adult children, but could not imagine going around the house close to nekkid when they, their spouses, or kids are around.  Couldn't they be comfortable in clothing that covers enough and isn't completely worn out, especially with guests for a holiday meal?

[RingTailedLemur]

My ex-BIL's (that is, my DH's sister's ex) family are naturists.  They invited their DILs on a naturist holiday and they both declined very quickly.