Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 222202 times)

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cattlekid

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #525 on: December 05, 2012, 09:41:36 AM »
We now have a holiday hill to die on.  My MIL is making noises that she wants to have us over on either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day.  MIL and FIL celebrate both Western Christmas (December 25) and Eastern Christmas (January 7) as FIL is Orthodox Christian. 

DH has no problem going to his parents on 1/7, but does not want to spend 12/25 with them.  We have normally gone to my grandmother's for Christmas Eve/Christmas Day but may not this year depending on what Grandma has planned. 

Therefore, there is the distinct possibility that we may be on our own for 12/25 Christmas.  This is what DH wants and I am happy to oblige.  However, I know that we are going to have to polish our spines for this one because MIL will turn on the full-court press if she finds out that we are going to stay home by ourselves for Christmas. 

Elisabunny

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #526 on: December 05, 2012, 04:17:53 PM »
I didn't think I had a holiday hill to die on, but the talk about Santa made me realize otherwise.

I will not lie about Santa (or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy for that matter). I feel very strongly against letting kids believe in Santa, so mine won't. There may still be gifts "from Santa", but my kids will know perfectly well that it's just make-believe and they're really from mum and dad / grandma and grandad / whoever.

I won't lie to other kids either. Of course, I'm not going to be a spoilsport and go out of my way to tell them the truth, and even if they ask me straight out, I'll do my best to bean dip or get them to ask their parents instead, but the words "Yes, Santa's real" (or some variation of that) will never cross my lips. Their right to parent as they wish does not extend to forcing me to lie. Fortunately it's never been an issue as redirecting seems to do the trick  :)

What?!?  You mean Santa's not real?  :'( :'( :'( I'm crushed! :'( :'( :'(

No, no, no...don't believe it.  Santa is real! :)  He visits our home every year!  Who else would leave such cool toys/gadgets for the kids!  I sure as heck don't do it!

Of course Santa is a real person.  Once there was a very good man called St. Nicholas.... ;) 
You must remember this: a ghoti is still a fish...

MrTango

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #527 on: December 05, 2012, 04:26:00 PM »
I didn't think I had a holiday hill to die on, but the talk about Santa made me realize otherwise.

I will not lie about Santa (or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy for that matter). I feel very strongly against letting kids believe in Santa, so mine won't. There may still be gifts "from Santa", but my kids will know perfectly well that it's just make-believe and they're really from mum and dad / grandma and grandad / whoever.

I won't lie to other kids either. Of course, I'm not going to be a spoilsport and go out of my way to tell them the truth, and even if they ask me straight out, I'll do my best to bean dip or get them to ask their parents instead, but the words "Yes, Santa's real" (or some variation of that) will never cross my lips. Their right to parent as they wish does not extend to forcing me to lie. Fortunately it's never been an issue as redirecting seems to do the trick  :)

What?!?  You mean Santa's not real?  :'( :'( :'( I'm crushed! :'( :'( :'(

No, no, no...don't believe it.  Santa is real! :)  He visits our home every year!  Who else would leave such cool toys/gadgets for the kids!  I sure as heck don't do it!

Of course Santa is a real person.  Once there was a very good man called St. Nicholas.... ;)

Whose feast day happens to be tomorrow.

Luci45

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #528 on: December 05, 2012, 05:39:44 PM »
I finally got the 'no gifts' Christmas!  I talked Lukas into it!

We will give the ornaments to the grandchildren and a hunk of cash. We will give the beef to the extended family - roasts depending on size of the family- and checks to our children and their spouses. Last night I mentioned to daughter-in-law's parents, who celebrate with us, that we weren't buying gifts this year, and they kind of gave a sigh of relief, too.

We grandparents are in the sorting out and getting rid of stuff stage, and the grandchildren are overly (in my opinion) showered with gifts, as well as most being old enough to want money. Lukas and I rarely exchange gift anyway - never have, much to the aghastness of our granddaughters (new word! Stonger than 'shock').

So I've been running around getting checks made out for the charities and planning Christmas dinner. It seems so easy, even with our  being gone next week. I haven't baked for years, so life seems really, really, easy.

Since the world is going to end on the 21st anyway, I might as well enjoy what's left ----- or not. :D

Next year, this mound will be a hill!

CrochetFanatic

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #529 on: December 05, 2012, 06:35:21 PM »
I didn't think I had a holiday hill to die on, but the talk about Santa made me realize otherwise.

I will not lie about Santa (or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy for that matter). I feel very strongly against letting kids believe in Santa, so mine won't. There may still be gifts "from Santa", but my kids will know perfectly well that it's just make-believe and they're really from mum and dad / grandma and grandad / whoever.

I won't lie to other kids either. Of course, I'm not going to be a spoilsport and go out of my way to tell them the truth, and even if they ask me straight out, I'll do my best to bean dip or get them to ask their parents instead, but the words "Yes, Santa's real" (or some variation of that) will never cross my lips. Their right to parent as they wish does not extend to forcing me to lie. Fortunately it's never been an issue as redirecting seems to do the trick  :)

What?!?  You mean Santa's not real?  :'( :'( :'( I'm crushed! :'( :'( :'(

No, no, no...don't believe it.  Santa is real! :)  He visits our home every year!  Who else would leave such cool toys/gadgets for the kids!  I sure as heck don't do it!

Of course Santa is a real person.  Once there was a very good man called St. Nicholas.... ;)

The way our mother explained it when we were old enough to know (actually, it was first broken to me in a rather jarring manner, so I've got mixed feelings about the whole "Santa" thing, but this actually helped), there was a man called St. Nicholas, as you said.  The legend says that he dropped bags of gold down the chimneys of the needy.  When the real man passed away a very long time ago, people honored his memory by continuing to give to the needy every Christmas, which eventually graduated to exchanging gifts.  Santa is real in that the spirit of giving can live on in all of us.  So she said.  ;)

I don't know how much of that is true, but it's a nice idea. 

suzieQ

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #530 on: December 05, 2012, 08:04:47 PM »
My holiday hill is a bit of a ways off, but I know it's coming.
DH and I got married last year. We plan on saving for a downpayment for a house in the next year. At some point, we'll be starting a family.
And there it lies. Every year since DH and I have been together (this will be year #8), we have had Christmas with his parents. I love my in-laws, imperfect as they may be, but they have certain expectations of "just how things are done."

In my family, mom wrapped her gifts to us. Santa didn't. My kids won't have gifts from Santa that are wrapped. I don't see what the big deal is, but my MIL actually has told me (more than once) that "The presents Santa leaves for them at MY house will be wrapped!"
So...she's going to one-up me on giftwrapping? Seriously? For non-existent children? She doesn't know it yet, but Santa won't be visiting her house for any children I have. I think Santa belongs to the parents, NOT the grandparents. And if Santa DOES make a stop....well, we won't be.


Reminds me of my MIL, who thankfully passed away quite a few years ago. Not sure how much longer DH and I would have made it together if I hadn't outlived her.

DH and I didn't "do" Santa. We told the kids the truth, so they knew there was no Santa. (They were sworn to secrecy to protect the innocence of other children). MIL *had* to have Santa. So every year, the kids would ask me why Granny wrapped presents for them under the name of Santa.

How hard is it to just allow the parents of the kids to make the decision about Santa? Why force Santa into the equation when the kids know perfectly well there is no such thing?
« Last Edit: December 06, 2012, 02:17:35 PM by suzieQ »

Jules1980

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #531 on: December 05, 2012, 09:13:22 PM »
I have no problem with people who don't tell their kids about Santa Claus.  However, if you do decide to just start off with the truth, teach your kids not to tell others.  I promise my child won't tell yours about Santa Claus if yours won't tell her that he isn't real at 3.

When I was younger, but too old for Santa Claus, I had a relative that told their kid that Santa Claus was a dead Roman Bishop and anyone who believed in him was going to go to  H E L L.  He told me this at a Thanksgiving when I showed up wearing a Santa shirt.  Now I was 11 and well past the age of believing.  I just liked the shirt, but at the time, I remember thinking, "Wow.  If I was a little kid that did believe in Santa that would scare me to death."

Well, his parents and grandparents (including my grandfather) laughed and thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

Then he went to preschool and told the kids there that they were all going to H E L L for believing in Santa and celebrating that part of Christmas along with the religious side.  His parents had the nerve to be offended when the other parents were upset about this.

JenJay

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #532 on: December 05, 2012, 09:31:05 PM »
I had a friend brag to me that her daughter told her entire kindergarten class that Christmas was Jesus' birthday and Santa was a lie. She said a couple of parents were mad at her but that was their problem and "That's what they get for lying. I don't feel bad and I told DD she hadn't done anything wrong!". I have no problem with her decision to only celebrate that religious aspect of the holiday, but respect should run both ways!

I had a mini hill from that point on - I vowed not to have my kids anywhere near her for however many years my kids were into Santa. She invited us over to make cookies once or twice but we were always unfortunately unavailable ;).

Another time I was actually standing in a mall Santa line with the mom and kids I nannied for when, behind us, a boy of about 10 started loudly complaining about how stupid it all was. My employer (whose kids were 2, 4 and 6) turned to the Mom and said with a smile "The things we go through for these adorable pictures, huh?!" The other mom replied "Actually we're *religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas in any capacity* but he wanted the free candy cane." So you let your kid stand in a line with little kids who want to meet Santa and laugh as he complains how stupid kids who believe in Santa are? Real nice.  ::)

magician5

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #533 on: December 05, 2012, 10:52:36 PM »
So she's going to stand in line a half-hour AND thumb her nose at her religious tenets to get a 50c candy cane?
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gemma156

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #534 on: December 06, 2012, 02:17:52 AM »
When my children would ask me why that child would say Santa was a lie, I would also reply "Because he/she must have been on the bad list of Santa's and didn't receive any presents, her/his parents must try to fill the void of Santa's visit's to make him/her feel better.  Try not to make them feel any worse then they must do, just say ok and walk away".  Worked every time, the louder the child proclaiming Santa isn't real the more my believed just how naughty those children were. 

MariaE

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #535 on: December 06, 2012, 02:51:57 AM »
When my children would ask me why that child would say Santa was a lie, I would also reply "Because he/she must have been on the bad list of Santa's and didn't receive any presents, her/his parents must try to fill the void of Santa's visit's to make him/her feel better.  Try not to make them feel any worse then they must do, just say ok and walk away".  Worked every time, the louder the child proclaiming Santa isn't real the more my believed just how naughty those children were.

That seems like an incredible offensive way to handle it. Why on earth would you do that? Lying about other kids being naughty seems way past the realm of acceptable behaviour.
 
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Nora

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #536 on: December 06, 2012, 04:02:53 AM »
When my children would ask me why that child would say Santa was a lie, I would also reply "Because he/she must have been on the bad list of Santa's and didn't receive any presents, her/his parents must try to fill the void of Santa's visit's to make him/her feel better.  Try not to make them feel any worse then they must do, just say ok and walk away".  Worked every time, the louder the child proclaiming Santa isn't real the more my believed just how naughty those children were.

That seems like an incredible offensive way to handle it. Why on earth would you do that? Lying about other kids being naughty seems way past the realm of acceptable behaviour.

Yep, that seems a little messed up.
Just because someone is offended that does not mean they are in the right.

Amava

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #537 on: December 06, 2012, 09:38:55 AM »
When my children would ask me why that child would say Santa was a lie, I would also reply "Because he/she must have been on the bad list of Santa's and didn't receive any presents, her/his parents must try to fill the void of Santa's visit's to make him/her feel better.  Try not to make them feel any worse then they must do, just say ok and walk away".  Worked every time, the louder the child proclaiming Santa isn't real the more my believed just how naughty those children were.

That seems like an incredible offensive way to handle it. Why on earth would you do that? Lying about other kids being naughty seems way past the realm of acceptable behaviour.

Yep, that seems a little messed up.

A little, but on the other hand, it also makes sense.
If I were Santa, and some kids were going around denying my existence, I would put them on my "naughty" list, too.

Bexx27

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #538 on: December 06, 2012, 09:41:53 AM »
When my children would ask me why that child would say Santa was a lie, I would also reply "Because he/she must have been on the bad list of Santa's and didn't receive any presents, her/his parents must try to fill the void of Santa's visit's to make him/her feel better.  Try not to make them feel any worse then they must do, just say ok and walk away".  Worked every time, the louder the child proclaiming Santa isn't real the more my believed just how naughty those children were.

That seems like an incredible offensive way to handle it. Why on earth would you do that? Lying about other kids being naughty seems way past the realm of acceptable behaviour.

Yep, that seems a little messed up.

Yeah, what's wrong with "some people believe in Santa and some don't?"
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Luci45

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Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #539 on: December 06, 2012, 10:19:16 AM »
When my children would ask me why that child would say Santa was a lie, I would also reply "Because he/she must have been on the bad list of Santa's and didn't receive any presents, her/his parents must try to fill the void of Santa's visit's to make him/her feel better.  Try not to make them feel any worse then they must do, just say ok and walk away".  Worked every time, the louder the child proclaiming Santa isn't real the more my believed just how naughty those children were.

That seems like an incredible offensive way to handle it. Why on earth would you do that? Lying about other kids being naughty seems way past the realm of acceptable behaviour.

Yep, that seems a little messed up.

Yeah, what's wrong with "some people believe in Santa and some don't?"

Agreed. That way it isn't really a lie. A kid who wants to believe will.