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### Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 882926 times)

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#### Ambrosia Hino

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #555 on: December 10, 2012, 02:29:27 PM »
I admit I didn't handle that part well. But she's also the type that would sit there and tell the server (repeatedly) "oh its so sad that you have to work instead of spend the day with your family" and not understand that her being there is why they're having to work. I jumped the gun there and I realize that. Now just to find a way to set up plans a different way (SIL never ever hosts, so I don't get why she's even pushing for this)

#### Outdoor Girl

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• Posts: 16365
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #556 on: December 10, 2012, 02:32:48 PM »
Some people who would be considered non-emergency are needed, like folks at hotels since some of us will need hotel rooms over the holidays, either because there isn't enough room to stay at someone's house or we need our own space for our own sanity.

And a lot of restaurants that are open are owned by people who don't celebrate Christmas.  So I don't see why they should be forced to close on a day when they could make considerable money when it doesn't have spiritual significance for them.

But I agree that theme parks and the like don't need to be open.  I find the NBA games played and televised on Christmas Day to be somewhat bizarre.  The visiting team most likely had to come in the day before and thus, didn't get to spend the day with their families, not to mention all the TV folks - cameramen, producers, announcers, etc. - and all the stadium/arena workers.  I know people who go to a movie on Christmas Day.  It's a tradition in their family.  Again, I just find it strange.

But if the demand is there and people are willing to work, I guess it'll happen.  Just don't expect me to be a part of it.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

#### faithlessone

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• Posts: 2530
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #557 on: December 10, 2012, 02:33:55 PM »
I will not drive anywhere on Christmas day, and IMHO don't believe non-emergency workers should have to work.

I seem to be in the minority, at least in this area, where anyone in hospitality will most likely be working on Christmas day. The theme parks, hotels and many restaurants do not close, even for Christmas.

Not to stir the pot or anything, but you do realise that not everyone celebrates Christmas, right? People of other religions, or no religion, as well as those who just don't want to recognise a holiday that might not mean anything to them, or even actively upset them. People who might not have families to spend Christmas with, or who would prefer to spend that day being there for other people (even in such a small way as just manning the local shop!).

It's not fair to expect that the world will shut down for a day, when there are millions of people who consider it to be just another day in December.

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• Not all those who wander are lost
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #558 on: December 10, 2012, 02:51:41 PM »
I do realize that not everyone is Christian. I have Pagan friends who have celebrations that occur on December 25th as well.

I made a choice that only affects me. I never said that others should not continue with their plans.
“All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost; The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost."
-J.R.R Tolkien

#### camlan

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• Posts: 9273
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #559 on: December 10, 2012, 04:29:38 PM »

The way our mother explained it when we were old enough to know (actually, it was first broken to me in a rather jarring manner, so I've got mixed feelings about the whole "Santa" thing, but this actually helped), there was a man called St. Nicholas, as you said.  The legend says that he dropped bags of gold down the chimneys of the needy.  When the real man passed away a very long time ago, people honored his memory by continuing to give to the needy every Christmas, which eventually graduated to exchanging gifts.  Santa is real in that the spirit of giving can live on in all of us.  So she said.

I don't know how much of that is true, but it's a nice idea.

St. Nicholas was a Turkish saint, back when that region of the world was Christian. There's a pretty good explanation here, if anyone's interested: http://www.turkey-now.org/default.aspx?pgID=438

Now that Turkey is largely Muslim, there is still a tradition, at least in the less conservative, more modernized areas, that Santa Claus brings gifts, but on New Year's Eve instead of Christmas day. And not a huge pile of gifts, but more like a book or a pair of gloves. But you'll see Christmas trees and Santa figures in the major cities in Turkey during December.
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, “I’m possible!” –Audrey Hepburn

#### VorFemme

• Member
• Posts: 13768
• It's too darned hot! (song from Kiss Me, Kate)
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #560 on: December 10, 2012, 05:18:55 PM »
I admit I didn't handle that part well. But she's also the type that would sit there and tell the server (repeatedly) "oh its so sad that you have to work instead of spend the day with your family" and not understand that her being there is why they're having to work. I jumped the gun there and I realize that. Now just to find a way to set up plans a different way (SIL never ever hosts, so I don't get why she's even pushing for this)

I've met your SIL - three things to consider.

Her health is not that great right now.

Would she or her husband be doing the cooking?  Or possibly her mother-in-law, if his family is coming over for a combined holiday......

Look at the bright side - dinner out can be cut off at three hours or less, so you can "take the toddler home for his nap" or "let the dogs out of the garage for their bathroom break". Going to anyone else's house is likely to get you guilt tripped if it isn't four-to-six hours or longer......or would you rather have them over at your house?  Yeah - she's that clueless - but with a narcissistic mother, it's amazing that she has any empathy at all.  She does have some empathy towards the people who are working - even if her LOGIC (as to who is making them work) isn't strong.....neither Vulcans nor Betans on that side of the family......

ETA - if anyone remembers Ambrosia Hino's earlier posts, or mine, this is CrazyMIL's DD.  The family traditions have had to be adjusted as CrazyMIL is being given the cut direct after making death threats to both her SIL and her DIL.  Since she also made death threats to her ex-DH (their father) and tried to hire someone to do the job...the situation with her would seem to warrant the etiquette version of "weapons of mass destruction".
« Last Edit: December 10, 2012, 05:57:02 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

#### heathert

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• Posts: 1927
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #561 on: December 10, 2012, 05:45:11 PM »
Well, I don't know your SIL but I was thinking along the same lines that when she makes those comments to servers it is meant in a "Sorry you drew the short straw" kind of way, although it is rather clueless.

#### AuntieA

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #562 on: December 10, 2012, 07:24:26 PM »
VorFemme - I would love to meet you + family - you all have such *interesting* dynamics!

* as in the Chinese saying "May you live in interesting times"

Seriously, its been great to see E-Hellions passing down the generations and crossing the sibling ties.
I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

#### KenveeB

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• Posts: 8863
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #563 on: December 10, 2012, 09:05:00 PM »
My first clue should have been that we didn't leave cookies and milk, we left mincemeat tarts and a can of coke.  Which just happened to be my Dad's favourite.

After we learned the truth about Santa, we started leaving out peanut M&Ms and Diet Cokes.

#### mbbored

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##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #564 on: December 10, 2012, 09:28:57 PM »
My first clue should have been that we didn't leave cookies and milk, we left mincemeat tarts and a can of coke.  Which just happened to be my Dad's favourite.

After we learned the truth about Santa, we started leaving out peanut M&Ms and Diet Cokes.

Heh, we always left Santa wine and cheese since he needed a savory snack after all those cookies.

#### jedikaiti

• Swiss Army Nerd
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• A pie in the hand is worth two in the mail.
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #565 on: December 10, 2012, 11:59:41 PM »
My first clue should have been that we didn't leave cookies and milk, we left mincemeat tarts and a can of coke.  Which just happened to be my Dad's favourite.

After we learned the truth about Santa, we started leaving out peanut M&Ms and Diet Cokes.

In my house the cookies were served with some of Dad's good brandy, to help keep Santa warm.
What part of v_e = \sqrt{\frac{2GM}{r}} don't you understand? It's only rocket science!

"The problem with re-examining your brilliant ideas is that more often than not, you discover they are the intellectual equivalent of saying, 'Hold my beer and watch this!'" - Cindy Couture

#### Shakira

• Member
• Posts: 599
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #566 on: December 11, 2012, 04:45:23 AM »
My first clue should have been that we didn't leave cookies and milk, we left mincemeat tarts and a can of coke.  Which just happened to be my Dad's favourite.

After we learned the truth about Santa, we started leaving out peanut M&Ms and Diet Cokes.

Heh, we always left Santa wine and cheese since he needed a savory snack after all those cookies.

Yeah!! My kind of Santa!
Sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here.

#### Ambrosia Hino

• Member
• Posts: 940
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #567 on: December 11, 2012, 07:14:18 AM »
I admit I didn't handle that part well. But she's also the type that would sit there and tell the server (repeatedly) "oh its so sad that you have to work instead of spend the day with your family" and not understand that her being there is why they're having to work. I jumped the gun there and I realize that. Now just to find a way to set up plans a different way (SIL never ever hosts, so I don't get why she's even pushing for this)

I've met your SIL - three things to consider.

Her health is not that great right now.

Would she or her husband be doing the cooking?  Or possibly her mother-in-law, if his family is coming over for a combined holiday......

Look at the bright side - dinner out can be cut off at three hours or less, so you can "take the toddler home for his nap" or "let the dogs out of the garage for their bathroom break". Going to anyone else's house is likely to get you guilt tripped if it isn't four-to-six hours or longer......or would you rather have them over at your house?  Yeah - she's that clueless - but with a narcissistic mother, it's amazing that she has any empathy at all.  She does have some empathy towards the people who are working - even if her LOGIC (as to who is making them work) isn't strong.....neither Vulcans nor Betans on that side of the family......

ETA - if anyone remembers Ambrosia Hino's earlier posts, or mine, this is CrazyMIL's DD.  The family traditions have had to be adjusted as CrazyMIL is being given the cut direct after making death threats to both her SIL and her DIL.  Since she also made death threats to her ex-DH (their father) and tried to hire someone to do the job...the situation with her would seem to warrant the etiquette version of "weapons of mass destruction".

SIL is never in charge of the cooking. Any of the cooking. Get-togethers at her house generally mean either going out to eat or ordering/bringing take-out. Her house is also a cluttered mess, and not a good place to let Toddler play. Family get-togethers, so far, are almost always at FIL & SMIL (step-mother-in-law) house. I wouldn't mind hosting, I've offered before but SMIL always wants to do it (and never shows when we do host something, but that's a different story).

This year, the dynamic is weird because we usually do Thanksgiving with them and Christmas with my family, and things got swapped. I told my DH that either we can host or we can all go out Christmas Eve and stay home just the 3 of us for Christmas Day.

*The comments that I mentioned SIL is known for, even if she doesn't mean them this way, are usually said in a gloating/condescending/snotty tone. Going out to eat with her always ends up with us picking up the bill as well. I don't have room in the budget and I doubt FIL does either, for a restaurant meal for 9 (2 college kids and a toddler...the 20 yr old boy makes up for the toddler in amount of food eaten!)

#### VorFemme

• Member
• Posts: 13768
• It's too darned hot! (song from Kiss Me, Kate)
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #568 on: December 11, 2012, 07:32:00 AM »
I admit I didn't handle that part well. But she's also the type that would sit there and tell the server (repeatedly) "oh its so sad that you have to work instead of spend the day with your family" and not understand that her being there is why they're having to work. I jumped the gun there and I realize that. Now just to find a way to set up plans a different way (SIL never ever hosts, so I don't get why she's even pushing for this)

I've met your SIL - three things to consider.

Her health is not that great right now.

Would she or her husband be doing the cooking?  Or possibly her mother-in-law, if his family is coming over for a combined holiday......

Look at the bright side - dinner out can be cut off at three hours or less, so you can "take the toddler home for his nap" or "let the dogs out of the garage for their bathroom break". Going to anyone else's house is likely to get you guilt tripped if it isn't four-to-six hours or longer......or would you rather have them over at your house?  Yeah - she's that clueless - but with a narcissistic mother, it's amazing that she has any empathy at all.  She does have some empathy towards the people who are working - even if her LOGIC (as to who is making them work) isn't strong.....neither Vulcans nor Betans on that side of the family......

ETA - if anyone remembers Ambrosia Hino's earlier posts, or mine, this is CrazyMIL's DD.  The family traditions have had to be adjusted as CrazyMIL is being given the cut direct after making death threats to both her SIL and her DIL.  Since she also made death threats to her ex-DH (their father) and tried to hire someone to do the job...the situation with her would seem to warrant the etiquette version of "weapons of mass destruction".

SIL is never in charge of the cooking. Any of the cooking. Get-togethers at her house generally mean either going out to eat or ordering/bringing takeout. Her house is also a cluttered mess, and not a good place to let Toddler play. Family get-togethers, so far, are almost always at FIL & SMIL (step-mother-in-law) house. I wouldn't mind hosting, I've offered before but SMIL always wants to do it (and never shows when we do host something, but that's a different story).

This year, the dynamic is weird because we usually do Thanksgiving with them and Christmas with my family, and things got swapped. I told my DH that either we can host or we can all go out Christmas Eve and stay home just the 3 of us for Christmas Day.

*The comments that I mentioned SIL is known for, even if she doesn't mean them this way, are usually said in a gloating/condescending/snotty tone. Going out to eat with her always ends up with us picking up the bill as well. I don't have room in the budget and I doubt FIL does either, for a restaurant meal for 9 (2 college kids and a toddler...the 20 yr old boy makes up for the toddler in amount of food eaten!)

Bean dip - if you don't have the time, money, patience, or inclination to go out to eat on Christmas Day with them you don't have the time, money, patience, etc...  Blame it on the toddler having been exposed to something at the day care and you don't want to expose her to it (health problems).  Then stay home in pajamas and have fun for a while......

For those who don't know the dynamic with this SIL, her "example" on how to behave properly was CrazyMIL or Nearly-as-Crazy-Stepmother - so her behaviour is odd at times...she can be sweet one minute then do something bizarre the next.  And she sees nothing wrong because she is still acting better than her two examples...which isn't a guarantee of "good behaviour" when those examples are so far off the mean, the norm, and even "sane" standards.  Eccentric would be not be a good description - because it would still imply that the person was closer to normal that they really are.  Does "beyond eccentric" make sense?  Because that is as close to a description as I can get without being too recognizable (small town in Georgia describes a LOT of places - but not as many once you start mentioning some of the other details - and both CrazyMIL and Nearly-as-crazy-Stepmother are still alive*).

*And a bit more than half a bubble off plumb, as well, from what I understand...
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

#### nayberry

• Member
• Posts: 775
##### Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #569 on: December 11, 2012, 11:34:53 AM »
VorFemme - I would love to meet you + family - you all have such *interesting* dynamics!

* as in the Chinese saying "May you live in interesting times"

Seriously, its been great to see E-Hellions passing down the generations and crossing the sibling ties.

OT  i always wondered where that came from,  especially as Terry Pratchett borrowed it
baby berry arrived june 2016