News: IT'S THE 2ND ANNUAL GUATEMALA LIBRARY PROJECT BOOK DRIVE!    LOOKING FOR DONATIONS OF SCIENCE BOOKS THIS YEAR.    Check it out in the "Extending the Hand of Kindness" folder or here: http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=139832.msg3372084#msg3372084   

  • October 18, 2017, 02:53:26 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Your holiday hill to die on.  (Read 881308 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Hillia

  • Member
  • Posts: 3357
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #825 on: November 29, 2013, 10:16:16 AM »
In the 'no good deed goes unpunished' category...

DS hosted his dad, stepmom, and various step-sibs and their families - 12 people all told.  This was his first time ever hosting anything other than 'bring your own takeout' and he really went all out - cleaned his apartment for days, researched recipes, bought $100+ worth of food, dealt with pre-Thanksgiving demands to bring extra people, 'I'll only eat Mom's mashed potatoes', etc.  While none of the expected bad behavior came to pass, everyone was crushed - crushed!- that he "only" provided a 15 lb ham with homemade glaze, homemade mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, veggie platter, and crackers and cheese (there were a few other side dishes that family members brought, as prearranged).  Where's the turkey?  Why didn't you make Mom's stuffing?  Well...deep sigh...it's ok, we'll just have a turkey dinner on Saturday.  He had even broadcast his menu earlier in the week and announced that he was having ham....'Oh, we thought you were doing ham and turkey'.

Seriously.  Not one word about how nice his apartment looked, not one word of thanks or recognition for all of his work, just complaints. His dad called him this morning to say, 'Just so you know, next time you should probably have a turkey.  Everyone was pretty disappointed'.  DS told him not to worry, he was never hosting them again so they could have their dinner exactly the way they wanted it.


ETA: Their overwhelming disappointment didn't stop anyone from stuffing their faces and taking home leftovers.
« Last Edit: November 29, 2013, 10:18:57 AM by Hillia »

Petticoats

  • Member
  • Posts: 3354
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #826 on: November 29, 2013, 10:49:08 AM »
In the 'no good deed goes unpunished' category...

DS hosted his dad, stepmom, and various step-sibs and their families - 12 people all told.  This was his first time ever hosting anything other than 'bring your own takeout' and he really went all out - cleaned his apartment for days, researched recipes, bought $100+ worth of food, dealt with pre-Thanksgiving demands to bring extra people, 'I'll only eat Mom's mashed potatoes', etc.  While none of the expected bad behavior came to pass, everyone was crushed - crushed!- that he "only" provided a 15 lb ham with homemade glaze, homemade mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, veggie platter, and crackers and cheese (there were a few other side dishes that family members brought, as prearranged).  Where's the turkey?  Why didn't you make Mom's stuffing?  Well...deep sigh...it's ok, we'll just have a turkey dinner on Saturday.  He had even broadcast his menu earlier in the week and announced that he was having ham....'Oh, we thought you were doing ham and turkey'.

Seriously.  Not one word about how nice his apartment looked, not one word of thanks or recognition for all of his work, just complaints. His dad called him this morning to say, 'Just so you know, next time you should probably have a turkey.  Everyone was pretty disappointed'.  DS told him not to worry, he was never hosting them again so they could have their dinner exactly the way they wanted it.


ETA: Their overwhelming disappointment didn't stop anyone from stuffing their faces and taking home leftovers.

Oh my gosh! What staggering nerve of his father, and everyone else! I'm glad your DS took himself off the hosting list after that. And I hope you gave him some hugs, even if they were just verbal. He sounds like a great guy.

Team HoundMom

  • Member
  • Posts: 1911
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #827 on: November 29, 2013, 10:55:36 AM »
Seriously.  Not one word about how nice his apartment looked, not one word of thanks or recognition for all of his work, just complaints. His dad called him this morning to say, 'Just so you know, next time you should probably have a turkey.  Everyone was pretty disappointed'.  DS told him not to worry, he was never hosting them again so they could have their dinner exactly the way they wanted it.

Un-freakin-believable.  I hope he keeps his word and never hosts those ingrates again.  I'm sure his friends would appreciate his hospitality next holiday rather than his "family".

Venus193

  • Member
  • Posts: 17043
  • Backstage passes are wonderful things!
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #828 on: November 29, 2013, 11:22:17 AM »
Adding my voice to this chorus.  I would never invite these people again.





MariaE

  • Member
  • Posts: 5051
  • So many books, so little time
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #829 on: November 29, 2013, 11:25:29 AM »
Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

Outdoor Girl

  • Member
  • Posts: 16358
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #830 on: November 29, 2013, 11:26:50 AM »
No invites to the ungrateful.

And if your DS was twice as old, I'd ask him to marry me.   ;D  Seriously, any young man that is willing and able to do all that cleaning and cooking, not to mention having a nice, shiny, spine is going to make some lucky young woman (or young man, for that matter) a wonderful husband.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

Luci

  • Member
  • Posts: 7622
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #831 on: November 29, 2013, 11:57:44 AM »
What a wonderful, thoughtful young man! How sad that all his hard work gave him nothing but grief.

MariaE: I grew up in the 50s and had Thanksgiving dinner at my grandmother's farm. We usually had chicken and dumplings, but there was the pressed duck one year, and the goose. I must admit that is was all poultry, but it was all from the farm. I never had a turkey until the year my mother did it when I was 18. Oh, the scurrying about, reading every magazine or newspaper article to find out how to cook the poor little guy.

Now, I wonder what all the fuss was about. Just read the time and temperature, put it in the oven, cover parts with foil, check the meat thermometer, done. Easiest part of the dinner!

By the way: next year we are having ham! The guests will be warned in the invitation. We have a placard in our yard that reads, "This year, try ham," on a sign a turkey is holding. Picture taken, ready for next year's invitations.


FauxFoodist

  • Member
  • Posts: 4983
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #832 on: November 29, 2013, 12:09:24 PM »
In the 'no good deed goes unpunished' category...

DS hosted his dad, stepmom, and various step-sibs and their families - 12 people all told.  This was his first time ever hosting anything other than 'bring your own takeout' and he really went all out - cleaned his apartment for days, researched recipes, bought $100+ worth of food, dealt with pre-Thanksgiving demands to bring extra people, 'I'll only eat Mom's mashed potatoes', etc.  While none of the expected bad behavior came to pass, everyone was crushed - crushed!- that he "only" provided a 15 lb ham with homemade glaze, homemade mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, glazed carrots, veggie platter, and crackers and cheese (there were a few other side dishes that family members brought, as prearranged).  Where's the turkey?  Why didn't you make Mom's stuffing?  Well...deep sigh...it's ok, we'll just have a turkey dinner on Saturday.  He had even broadcast his menu earlier in the week and announced that he was having ham....'Oh, we thought you were doing ham and turkey'.

Seriously.  Not one word about how nice his apartment looked, not one word of thanks or recognition for all of his work, just complaints. His dad called him this morning to say, 'Just so you know, next time you should probably have a turkey.  Everyone was pretty disappointed'.  DS told him not to worry, he was never hosting them again so they could have their dinner exactly the way they wanted it.


ETA: Their overwhelming disappointment didn't stop anyone from stuffing their faces and taking home leftovers.

I suddenly got visions of the family from "Million Dollar Baby" in/with their amusement park paraphernalia.

Free Range Hippy Chick

  • Member
  • Posts: 977
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #833 on: November 29, 2013, 12:14:17 PM »
No invites to the ungrateful.

And if your DS was twice as old, I'd ask him to marry me.   ;D  Seriously, any young man that is willing and able to do all that cleaning and cooking, not to mention having a nice, shiny, spine is going to make some lucky young woman (or young man, for that matter) a wonderful husband.

Take a ticket and wait your turn. I want to marry him. Yeah, OK, so I have a husband and two sons myself, but I'm sure we can work something out.

Hillia, on the 'revenge is a dish best served cold' front, tell your DS that there are few pleasures greater than watching the people who have messed you about over an invitation to a major family foodfest and celebration come to the slow realisation that no, you really aren't inviting them this time. And this is the voice of experience talking.

Hillia

  • Member
  • Posts: 3357
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #834 on: November 29, 2013, 12:47:12 PM »
Thanks, everyone!  I'm very proud of him, and I offer him up as a beacon of hope for folks who are having tough times with their teenagers.  Five years ago he had been expelled from the honors high school, spent a night in juvie for shoplifting, and had made a serious attempt on his life.  He's really turned himself around and is doing so well now, and has matured in every way more than I had ever hoped possible.

I did have to chuckle, though, when he called me Wednesday night ranting about his roommate who Won't Even Take Out the Trash!  And Leaves His Stuff All Over!  Doesn't he realize how hard DS has been working to clean the apartment?  Ah, sweet karma...

Elfmama

  • Member
  • Posts: 4595
  • Derailing threads since 2001!
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #835 on: November 29, 2013, 12:54:00 PM »
Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.
It's traditional, Maria. Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potatoes, a veggie (often canned green beans mixed with mushroom soup concentrate ), stuffing/dressing, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, often other pies.  To some people, like the extremely rude relatives above, serving anything else is rank heresy.  It's on the same level as suggesting that communion bread is so boooooring, and why don't we have ice cream instead? 

DD#1 and SonIL had ham and turkey yesterday as well as the traditional stuff, ably assisted by two teenage boys, and closely supervised by three dogs.  It was great.  And I'm absolutely going to steal the idea of the empty saucer to represent all the traditional foods that someone insists must be made, but nobody eats.  Like the nasty green bean casserole, that often has only one tiny spoonful taken out of a huge pan...

Hillia, tell him that WE think he did great, and he can come cook for us any time.  :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

cwm

  • Member
  • Posts: 2337
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #836 on: November 29, 2013, 12:57:12 PM »
Seriously.  Not one word about how nice his apartment looked, not one word of thanks or recognition for all of his work, just complaints. His dad called him this morning to say, 'Just so you know, next time you should probably have a turkey.  Everyone was pretty disappointed'.  DS told him not to worry, he was never hosting them again so they could have their dinner exactly the way they wanted it.

Good for DS. I would have told them the same thing. "Oh, well, I'd hate to disappoint you again. I guess you can host next year."

Seriously, YAY for him, it sounds like he's turned himself into a fine young man.

And as to the PP who asked about turkey going without saying, it doesn't. For a few years we did turkey and ham, then salmon and ham, then salmon and turkey and ham. Once grandma passed, we did chicken and dumplings and ham. There were rarely sweet potatoes, never any cranberry sauce, and we always had meatballs as an appetizer. I don't eat turkey or sweet potatoes or green bean casserole or cranberry sauce, so any sort of holiday meal missing any of that is perfectly fine with me.

gramma dishes

  • Member
  • Posts: 7262
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #837 on: November 29, 2013, 01:17:33 PM »
...    'Just so you know, next time you should probably have a turkey.  Everyone was pretty disappointed'.  ...

Great!!  Even before I finished reading this I was crossing my fingers and hoping he would say something like "Oh, you don't need to worry, Dad.  There won't be a 'next time'!"

Yay for your Son.  In so many ways!!   :)

Tea Drinker

  • Member
  • Posts: 2137
  • Now part of Team Land Crab
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #838 on: November 29, 2013, 02:24:14 PM »
What's "standard" varies a lot from one family to another. I read an article a few years back about how first- and second-generation immigrants were celebrating Thanksgiving, and there were a lot of families who had a roast turkey (because that's what so many articles say is served at Thanksgiving, and it's relatively straightforward to cook) and then lots of traditional feast and/or comfort foods from different cultures: so one table has turkey and curried vegetables and rice and such, and another family has dumplings and noodles and bok choy instead of green beans.

What's off about how the guests treated Hillia's son isn't that they missed the turkey. It's that they weren't thanking him and then saying that they had missed having a turkey along with all the other good stuff, or offering to bring a turkey next year--it went straight into entitled complaints.
Any advice that requires the use of a time machine may safely be ignored.

Twik

  • Member
  • Posts: 28822
Re: Your holiday hill to die on.
« Reply #839 on: November 29, 2013, 02:29:18 PM »
Completely agree that these people were incredibly rude, but is it normal not to have turkey for TG? I can understand the assumption that "turkey went without saying". That doesn't excuse their rudeness of course, but I do understand their surprise.

It's not a law. And a lot of people really don't "like" turkey that much, if they tell the truth. It's just ... always done.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."