Yes, direct quote.
My cousin is famous for things like this. I never hear from him unless he wants something and he's always insulting. Real winner.
And yet, he remains unstabbed with a shrimp fork?
(Shrimp forks are the only polite way to stab someone.)
I could not forgo an opportunity to further the mantra of Alton Brown regarding avoiding single-tasking kitchen utensils.
As such, while seconding the use of shrimp forks as genteel stabbing tools, I feel compelled to recommend fish knives, as well. It remains obvious, I am sure, that butter knives remain appropriate only in in purely comedic *or* tragic stabbing usage, and are not suited to corrective stabbing.