I agree with Jordan yet again today!
I think it's incredibly bad news to say "'No' might mean 'yes,' so do whatever you planned, anyway.'" I know people who don't want a shower or party in their honor, and, like Cellardoor, they had a party thrown in their honor, anyway. Those people told the relentless hostess "it was great, thanks," because what else DO you say? "Gee, thanks for not listening to me and doing whatever the hell you wanted - glad my opinion for a party for ME means nothing to you."
I'm flabbergasted regarding the people who say to go ahead with the party, even though the guest of honor is vocal in not wanting one. And I daresay that if the situation were reversed, it would be "I told my husband not to throw a party for me, but HE DID ANYWAY." And then everyone would be telling the OP that their husband is a controlling, manipulative jerk.