Should I throw my DH a surprise birthday party?

[jimithing]

I completely agree with this, but according to the OP, she has since spoken with friends and family members who said that he would love this and appreciate it. 

man, if i told my husband i didn't want something, and then other people told him they thought i'd like it, and he went ahead and did it even though i explicitly told him i didn't want it, i'd be angry.

i'd take the advice of others if i didn't know the guy's opinion, but he has stated it!!!  there is no ambiguity!  why create it?

lovin, I'm not sure if your reply was directed towards me, but I think you and I are on the same page here.  I completely agree with you.  I was just stating the fact that the OP has subsequently stated that she didn't understand why everyone was questioning her about this and she has basically decided to just go ahead and do it anyway, after talking to his friends.  I don't think our posts are going to change her mind or weigh on her decision at this point.

*if you saw my previous comment here, please ignore my craziness as I am mixing up posters today. 

[Trisha]

you could do something else, i threw a surprise party for my husband, and he loved it, but if you're wanting to do something special and save some money, try a cake. If you're husband has a favorite hobby, get a cake carved ( i took pics of wayne's car and they carved a 3d version) and maybe just have some people over for cake and ice cream

[bopper]

This is what I did for my DH's 40th:

We invited the usual crew to our house (friends/family) and we have a wine tasting party.  This may have been slightly un-etiquetty but I asked people to bring a bottle of wine to the party to taste.  This way people didn't feel like they had to bring a gift as the wine was the gift but really we drank most of it at the party.  We made quiches and had cheese/crackers/fruit and that sort of thing.  It was a big hit and did not cost tons.  I made a wine tasting scorecard so people rated their wines and then at the end I collected the score sheet and told everybody the group's favorite wine.

[bibbety]

Once again, if you read the original post he does not say he doesn't want a surprise party or doesn't like surprises. He says he doesn't want a big costly party.

[Trisha]

Once again, if you read the original post he does not say he doesn't want a surprise party or doesn't like surprises. He says he doesn't want a big costly party.

the OP says her husband doesn't want to spend the money and he doesn't see his birthday as a big deal so he doesn't want a big party.

[ZipTheWonder]

I gotta question whether there is likely to be much element of surprise here, anyway.  She's not going to tell him she's having a party for him (it's a surprise, after all) but he's going shooting with the gang, and then they manufacture some detour to his parents' house.  Unless he's dense, he's on to this long before the party starts.  She gets the surprise, he gets the same-old BBQ....probably works out fine.

[bopper]

For my DH's 40th, I decided not to go the surprise route as it was just too stressful to deal with (his bday is in the middle of January and we are just getting over the whole Xmas stuff) but I didn't tell him the theme or who was invited or anything about the party.  So it was kind of a surprise.

[caranfin]

I gotta question whether there is likely to be much element of surprise here, anyway.  She's not going to tell him she's having a party for him (it's a surprise, after all) but he's going shooting with the gang, and then they manufacture some detour to his parents' house.  Unless he's dense, he's on to this long before the party starts.  She gets the surprise, he gets the same-old BBQ....probably works out fine.

I asked the same thing earlier and she didn't respond. He told her what kind of party he wanted. She agreed. Now she's planning that party. But it's going to be a surprise? How?