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Gross Spin Off: I wish you hadn't used my cloth napkin for that & question

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allygmail:
A more disgusting spin off to the cloth napkin topic.....

I had a family member over for the holidays.  We were using nice cloth napkins.  They blew their nose in a cloth napkin & set it on the table during the meal.  I was sitting right beside them.  I was disgusted & couldn't finish the dinner I'd spent all that time cooking.  Ugh. 

Sorry it is so gross, but here's the question: 
I see the family member at least once a month and this usually involves meals.  They seem to have gotten in this nose-blowing at the table habit more often.  Even worse - the used napkin/tissue inevitably ends up *on* the table during the meal.

What is a discreet way to tell them to knock this off this revolting habit?

Last time we went out to dinner, I tried to be subtle & told them they might want to go to the restroom to blow their nose.  But it didn't work.  I know this person would be mortified if I flat out told them, "look, I can't eat my meal when you are blowing snot all over the place"  >:D but I am frankly to the point that I dread meeting them.  It literally makes me gag when they do this.  I can't imagine that they don't notice everyone else clearing their plates when the noseblowing / tissue "issue" starts.  Ugh.  This is so gross to even remember.

I know I am not the only one bothered by this, but no one else wants to do anything.  Should I?  What would you recommend?

FYI - Since visiting is a long-ish drive, meals are always involved in any get-together with this person. 

ladiedeathe:
I would catch the family member by themselves and tell them that you had noticed they seemed to be having more issues with their sinuses lately, and that they had been blowing their nose at the table.

Calmly tell them that you are really sorry about this, but that nose blowing at the table made you ill, and did not allow you to finish your dinner each time it happened. Let them know that others seemed to be having the same reaction, and ask point blank that they go to the bathroom and use tissue from now on. Let them be mortified once now, rather than horrified a year from now when someone finally explodes and tells them they are sickening to their face.

Chocolate Cake:
I agree with Ladie's advice.  I would also throw in that you'd rather not have to launder "it" off of your cloth dinner napkins and that the disposable tissues are in the bathroom.

kingsrings:
Ewww!!! I so wish that people would understand that blowing your nose at the table is disgusting! (Did you hear that, Dad??). And especially done with a cloth napkin. I think I would have to throw that away rather than attempt to launder the snot out of it, which would probably permanently stain, ewww. What is this person thinking? Ladiedeathe gave the best advice for handling this, I concur. It's a classy, non-invasive, but firm way to tell this relative to knock off this disgusting habit.

hellgirl:

--- Quote from: ladiedeathe on July 24, 2007, 05:53:59 PM ---I would catch the family member by themselves and tell them that you had noticed they seemed to be having more issues with their sinuses lately, and that they had been blowing their nose at the table.

Calmly tell them that you are really sorry about this, but that nose blowing at the table made you ill, and did not allow you to finish your dinner each time it happened. Let them know that others seemed to be having the same reaction, and ask point blank that they go to the bathroom and use tissue from now on. Let them be mortified once now, rather than horrified a year from now when someone finally explodes and tells them they are sickening to their face.

--- End quote ---

--- Quote from: Chocolate Cake on July 24, 2007, 06:16:47 PM ---I agree with Ladie's advice.  I would also throw in that you'd rather not have to launder "it" off of your cloth dinner napkins and that the disposable tissues are in the bathroom.

--- End quote ---

I agree with the above - except for asking them to use tissues. I think telling them what they have to use is going to far. Unlike telling them what they *shouldn't* use (being cloth napkins). Only because my DH finds them wasteful (he's weird about it) and not as good to use - but he carries a handkerchief (which he washes himself - yay!)

I'm thinking if they head off to the bathroom then paper tissues there should be used by them. But since they obviously have no issues using fabric cloths, I would include the gift of a pack of handkerchiefs with this little talk - to reinforce the 'don't use my napkins' message.

A bit OT - but what's the view on nose blowing at the table if the person uses the appropriate (technically - personal preferences notwithstanding) receptacle (?) from their pocket/bag, and turns as far away from the table as possible while doing so?

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