General Etiquette > Family and Children

am I wrong, or did I detect a note of discord??

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Sandi Papaya:
Another poster reminded me, I forgot to report back on my cousin's wedding, which took place on November 26th. I wasn't in attendance because of the halo issues. My mom noted that apart from the usual organizational issues associated with events hosted by this branch in the family (read: lack of organizational skills), the wedding went off very well, the bride was radiant, the groom was ecstatic, and a good time was had by all, which I was happy to hear for my sweet cousin.

A few days later, I was at the hospital visiting my grandma, and my uncle (bride's dad) and aunt (bride's stepmom) were there. I asked my aunt about the wedding and how it went. My cousin's natural mom's family was there also, and these are the type of people who take the "fun" out of "dysfunctional." So I asked if there were any major disputes between our family and my cousin's mom's side of the family (it was not an amicable split, and these people still try to worm their way into all our family functions - 25 years later!).

Anyway, my aunt replied, "No, the G family has too much class for that," then added, in a tone that was somewhat less than neutral, "except your cousin June." Note that June is the bride's older sister, and my aunt's stepdaughter.

June was a member of the wedding party, as a BM (I think she expected, as the bride's sister, to have been made MOH, although the sisters are not particularly close). The whole process to get her to go to dress fittings and do all the other BM-type stuff, I am told, was like pulling teeth, and she got obnoxiously drunk at the wedding, as she does at all family functions (if there's no alcohol provided, she will bring her own for herself and her husband). She acted jealous and petty, according to several people, which I found weird, as she is already married.

But knowing my cousin June, she doesn't like not being the center of attention, so maybe that detracted from my aunt's enjoyment of the wedding. Everyone in my family's getting tired of June's antics, and although June and her stepmom generally get along pretty well, I think she's tiring of the attention-grabbing, too.

I'm pretty sure I detected a note of bitterness in my aunt's comment. I don't know the circumstances behind this apparent falling out or loss of favor, but my aunt's not usually the type to make such a negative comment, so that she would openly say something so negative, especially in front of my uncle, strikes me as strange.

I don't want to be overly nosy here, but I detect something rotten in the state of Denmark. My aunt is not happy with my cousin for some reason. Did I do right in "staying out of it" - insofar as not questioning her directly about it - and keeping my speculations/suspicions (mostly) to myself? I mean, I haven't added to the family gossip mill by discussing it with anyone else, but something about my aunt's demeanor denoted to me that she has more or less reached her breaking point with my cousin.

I don't want to pry too much, because I don't want to start a family war or anything. But lately it seems like I'm not the only one who's disgusted with my cousin June - she's a selfish, greedy, attention-grabbing gimme pig. I wonder what took the rest of the family so long to catch on?

Elfqueen13:
Oh, I think there's definitely a "note of discord" but I think you did right to stay out of it.  There's never a good time for family squabbles but with your health not being 100% and your grandmother being in the hospital now is the time to just roll your eyes and remind yourself "It's June, it's just the way she is".  Unless she comes after you directly, I'd just let it slide for now.  The rest of the family is catching on, I'd just let things flow and see what happens.  (And of course, post frequent updates here!  ;D )

Another Liz:
Yeah, I agree.  It sounds like people are reaching the end of their rope with her. I have noticed that the closer the relationship between 2 people, the longer that rope seems to be, so maybe they appear to be only now catching on because they have stopped making the "but she is my (insert relationship here)" excuse.  I have also noticed that it is safer to keep your distance when that happens, so you did the right thing by staying out of it.  Less stories for us, but we'll get over it.


And Moonbunny, your sig made my day.

Lisbeth:
I think staying out of it was the correct thing to do.  Your aunt may very well be feeling bitter towards June because of her obnoxious behavior, but I wouldn't inquire-I'd leave it between her and June.

Sandi Papaya:
During the planning stages of the wedding, I asked my cousin, the bride, how the plans were going, and she rolled her eyes and said, "Some people aren't getting things done the way they need to get them done." I immediately knew who she was talking about, because soon after, her eyes filled with tears.

I consoled her and told her not to worry about it, that it was just pre-wedding jitters, but it went no further than that. I didn't want to cause her any further distress, and I already know she and her sister have a contentious history (it would be hard to miss - I've known both all their lives).

It's not hard to fathom why cousin June would be such a brat at her own sister's wedding, but to hear my aunt remark negatively on her stepdaughter's conduct was such a marked change from her usual "sunny side up" demeanor that it came as a shocker. I can only surmise that she's waking up to the antics, too...I'm just standing by to see if there's more to the story that I'm missing here.

I know, I'm evil! But enquiring minds want to know.... ;D

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