Help! How do I deal with coworker? (Long story)

[Rei-chan]

OK everyone, I need some advice on this:

I've been at this job since the summer, and there has been an increasing amount of problems with one of my coworkers (I'll call them B).  B is in approximately the same position that I am in, but has a slightly different job title (and a few extra responsibilities) but roughly the same authority.  The problems are as follows:

1.  B orders myself (and the others in my position) around but does relatively nothing unless a manager is approaching, then proceeds to look busy till they leave.
2.  When B takes a break, it is usually 10 minutes before I (or one of the others) is scheduled to leave, then makes it a 20 minute break instead of the allowed 10, causing me (or one of the others) to have to stay late.
3.  When the store is busy, it is our job to hop on a register to help alleviate the lines.  B is included in this job, but instead tells one of us to get on a till (as we are already heading to do just that) and then proceeds to stand there "in case someone needs codes".  We have all been told that we are to service customers first, and if codes are needed, then call a manager for backup, or jump on/off the till as needed.
4.  B has been caught (by one of my peers) badmouthing said peer to other managers.  This peer's work is impeccable.
5.  One particular night, B and I were closing.  It is common practice that if there is one manager closing, then one of us must stay with said manager.  Usually, it is whomever came in last that stays.  That day, I came in a few hours before B.  B went behind my back and told the GM that I had volunteered to stay late.  B then told me that the GM wanted to talk to me, and as I walked to his office, B clocked out.  I found out the ruse when I asked the GM what he wanted to speak with me about and he had no idea what I was speaking about.  Then he mentioned that B had told him I volunteered to stay.

Now, I have spoken about these problems with both my manager and the GM.  Both have said they will speak to B and do some research to validate what I have told them.  Another manager even wrote B up based on another incident (which almost caused me to be written up as well until he spoke to me and got the facts of the situation).  The thing is, I am bipolar and am prone to panic attacks.  The situation is already so bad that whenever I have to work with B, I end up with a migraine from trying to pull the extra weight on the shift.  I am not in a position to quit my job until DH gets his promotion (which will take up to 6 months).

So the question is this:  What is the polite way to deal with this person?  I don't want the statement on the evening news to be "Retail worker sets coworker on fire in the parking lot"!!! (Of course, that part is a joke    )

[Chocolate Cake]

I assume from your post that B doesn't have authority over you specifically.  If not, a bully is a bully no matter where you go.  So, you have to stand up to her to show her that you won't be bullied.  I would handle it as follows:

1)  Next time "B" emits an order, take her aside and say quietly, "You are not my boss so do not give me directives.  I can manage my own workload and don't need you to do it for me."  If she says, "I'm only trying to help; you may not have known that you needed to open a register" (or something like that), you can say, "Again, I am well aware of what needs to be done. Do not issue orders to me again."

2)  When she heads off for a break, state, "I'm off duty in 10 minutes remember."   When she's not back in time for you to leave, call her over the PA or go track her down and tell her you're leaving and you don't appreciate being made to wait.  Keep a log of how often she does this and give it to her boss -- especially if you pair it with the statement, "This is why your overtime costs are too high."

3)  Should she ever again dupe you again, immediately call her on it.  Immediately.  Call her cell phone or her home phone and let her have it.

[Shoo]

Yes, yes, yes to what Chocolate said.

Do not allow her to treat you this way.  Call her on it every. single. time. and don't back down.  She behaves this way because she's allowed to. 

[MrsP81]

I agree with the previous posters. As difficult as it might be, you really need to call her on it and keep notes of each incident.

[Bea]

First of all, I sympathize, because I've worked jobs that were probably very similar to yours, and I have a TEMPER, and dealing with coworkers who like to pretend they are above you on the authority ladder?  NOT good for the blood pressure.  I've met people like this and they make going to work an absolute misery.

Yes on everything already said, particularly about keeping notes of what happens along with dates and times.  Also, make sure to note down any conversations you have with your higher-ups regarding her, so that when you walk in with a list of her wrongdoings it won't seem "out of the blue"- you will have documentation that you already spoke to management in the past and the problem is still not getting better.

The one that makes me the most furious for your sake is her leaving for break when it's almost someone's turn to clock out.  You know what I would do?  Honestly, I'm not a confrontational person at all, but the next time it was one minute past my quitting time and she wasn't back, I would pick up the phone at your register and get her manager on the line if possible.  Tell them that you are supposed to be leaving and cannot because B is overstaying her break.  That will ensure that the manager knows as it's happening, and it might also lead to the manager confronting her directly when she comes back from her break- which is more proof to go along with your written notes of such incidents.  If you're lucky, the manager herself will have to come out and cover for you until B gets back, which will make it even better. =)

Good luck.

[Rei-chan]

Thanks for the replies and advice. 

The thing is, when the 2 managers who I have spoken to (our manager, and the GM) are present, B does not do these things.  The other managers are aware of the situation, but tend to not get involved unless they have to (such as the write up situation).

I was luckily off today, but yesterday was another story.  I was stuck with B till almost close, and this was another "one of those days".  I'm really worried that I am going to lose my temper with this person, and when I do, I think it will end up costing me my job.  I have spoken to the manager that wrote B up, and his response was that he wasn't sure what the 2 that have the say are going to do. 

I have told both my (and B's) manager about the panic attack waiting to happen situation, and my frustrations (although I was careful to word it in such a way as to not seem to be whining, but concerned).  My manager appeared to understand, and later I walked into the office to ask a question, I saw her put down 2 write up forms, one of which was possibly B's as there have only been 2 write ups in our department since we opened (I did not look at the forms, just noticed the rather large font at the top that said DISCIPLINARY ACTION FORM).

I am really trying not to have to directly confront B, as this kind of thing is usually met with defensiveness and excuses, which would only make me madder and the situation worse in the long run. 

Hopefully this thing will be resolved soon, one way or another.  Thanks again for all your advice, I'll keep ya posted on any new developments....