Author Topic: Ex member  (Read 79019 times)

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Xallanthia

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #420 on: October 28, 2011, 11:24:37 AM »
Aeris & lady_disdain, thank you for laying out so eloquently what has been troubling me about all of this.

(Also, which threads? I see some people being disagreed with,  but actually, I have been party to that myself, because I genuinely did disagree!)

There were a couple of OPs that just got overly jumped on in recent weeks, no matter what they posted, and given that they were the ones that the foulmouthed poster ranted about, I think those posters were being trolled on purpose to provoke them.

I noticed a few places where people seemed to be getting trolled on purpose, but remember that "the foulmouthed poster" (I assume you mean Bookworm?) was moderated quickly and the names removed.  In fact, the whole post is gone now, though you can find sections of it that others quoted.  So someone coming late to the conversation would not have seen it.  I didn't; I've reconstructed it from others' quotes.

Ehelldame

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #421 on: October 28, 2011, 11:25:24 AM »
I'm also concerned about an atmosphere of paranoia developing. I worry that posters will be afraid to disagree with OPs or address each other bluntly for fear of being suspected as a member of the "secret troll group." Quite honestly, if the responses to Siotehcat in the "teenagers doing chores" thread are an example of this group's "cyberbullying," I think that word does not mean what you think it means. (Not to pick on Siotehcat, and I do agree with a mod's warning posters in that thread to drop it, but I think there is a huge difference between questioning a poster's admittedly unusual stance on an issue and harrassing that poster.)

  My PM inbox is getting inundated with people coming clean, explaining the situation on that group, claiming they were bullied there, naming names  and confirming that this secret group, while initially begun with good intentions, had a serious problem with organized trolling of specific people (who are named) on Ehell.  The problem was serious enough that the creator began banning people and deleting threads that could be screenshot as evidence.   

I think in the interest of transparency, an admin of that group should contact me and give me the names of the banned persons so I can ban them here as well.   

kitty-cat

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #422 on: October 28, 2011, 11:26:07 AM »
The more names that come out the more shocked I am. Ehell is deffinatly going to be very different without many of these prominent posters. Although I'll admit to a feeling relief every so often when a poster I enjoy reading pops up.

Yes, I get that same feeling!

Same here. I used to love seeing Tabris' opinions when she posted em.




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Xallanthia

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #423 on: October 28, 2011, 11:27:37 AM »
The more names that come out the more shocked I am. Ehell is deffinatly going to be very different without many of these prominent posters. Although I'll admit to a feeling relief every so often when a poster I enjoy reading pops up.

Yes, I get that same feeling!

Same here. I used to love seeing Tabris' opinions when she posted em.

In case you didn't know, Tabris left the forum for reasons unrelated to anything but her own life.

Scuba_Dog

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #424 on: October 28, 2011, 11:28:44 AM »
As to the PM between one of our members and Scuba_Dog that is the main focus of evidence of the nature of our FB page - We honestly have NO IDEA why that email was sent to Scuba_Dog.

I think what you continue to miss is that the PM's I forwarded were probably not a very big deal in comparison to the information EHD already had about the secret group.

I think you are focusing in on the PM's because they are more recent and have a name attached to them. 

You have a member (edit-- apparently, several members) of your group (I was never a member, never even looked at the facebook page, I don't even know where the public one is!) who have been "outing" your group for awhile. 

This person (people) doesn't want to be named for fear or retaliation (what does that say about your kind group?) 

Again, I'm pretty sure the PM's were just the tip of the iceburg here.
« Last Edit: October 28, 2011, 11:35:36 AM by Scuba_Dog »
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HermioneGranger

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #425 on: October 28, 2011, 11:28:58 AM »

 I've played by the rules since then, since I like this board very much, and appreciate that it's heavily moderated to cut down on the drama.  I've also noticed a change in tone over the past few months, but like many others couldn't quite put my finger on why.  I'm deeply saddened by the recent bannings, as I held many of them in high regard, but as another poster already said upthread, sometimes you're known by the company you keep.  If you hang out with the mean girls, people will think think you're one too, right or wrong.

I wouldn't normally do this but I think people should see an example of who is a member in that super secret group.  Jais was banned from Ehell on August 26, 2011 for this post:  http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=100731.msg2476984#msg2476984   


EhellDame, the link doesn't work.

It works for me when I click it.

I can't see it either.  Perhaps it was moved to where only the mods could see it, not the general public?  That would make sense as to why you can see it but we can't. 

kitty-cat

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #426 on: October 28, 2011, 11:29:34 AM »
The more names that come out the more shocked I am. Ehell is deffinatly going to be very different without many of these prominent posters. Although I'll admit to a feeling relief every so often when a poster I enjoy reading pops up.

Yes, I get that same feeling!

Same here. I used to love seeing Tabris' opinions when she posted em.

In case you didn't know, Tabris left the forum for reasons unrelated to anything but her own life.

Yeah, I know. But she's a poster that I used to like seeing posts from.




NE Florida

Twik

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #427 on: October 28, 2011, 11:29:51 AM »
One downside of a secret social group, even if everything is completely innocent, is that once it's known, those who were not invited do feel rather like they're hearing about a party just for the the "cool kids", and they didn't make the cut. Even if they wouldn't have attended in the first place.
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Yvaine

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #428 on: October 28, 2011, 11:30:24 AM »
Aeris & lady_disdain, thank you for laying out so eloquently what has been troubling me about all of this.

(Also, which threads? I see some people being disagreed with,  but actually, I have been party to that myself, because I genuinely did disagree!)

There were a couple of OPs that just got overly jumped on in recent weeks, no matter what they posted, and given that they were the ones that the foulmouthed poster ranted about, I think those posters were being trolled on purpose to provoke them.

I noticed a few places where people seemed to be getting trolled on purpose, but remember that "the foulmouthed poster" (I assume you mean Bookworm?) was moderated quickly and the names removed.  In fact, the whole post is gone now, though you can find sections of it that others quoted.  So someone coming late to the conversation would not have seen it.  I didn't; I've reconstructed it from others' quotes.

Yeah, that's it. I had forgotten who made the post, just remembered how over the top it was!  :o

I don't want to be hurtful to the people mentioned in that post if they were lucky enough to not see it, so I'll use an example that was already discussed in the thread by others. Siotehcat got hounded on a couple of posts lately, and while the actual opinions expressed were not unreasonable and the posts taken in isolation weren't banworthy, it just seemed like there was a lot of it. And that people just weren't letting go. It seemed weird and now I think maybe a small number posters were trying to be provocative (perhaps accidentally egged on by people who were innocent but happened to agree).

girlysprite

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #429 on: October 28, 2011, 11:37:48 AM »
I have been a member for a short while, not even knowing that it was a secret group. I didn't read the facebook threads, but sometimes participated in the chat. I supposed this is how I missed the fact that it was a secret group, which was not to be mentioned here. The chat was mostly friendly and fun, but I sometimes noticed that when some threads were discussed, the wording could be quite harsh, and some people were quite judgemental. I did try defending posters a few times, and played a bit of devil's advocate. I did this in cases when I truly did not see a bad pattern of a poster, or could not understand why a post was bad.
So some time ago, there was a thread in ehell where people wondered why there was more vitrol lately. I shared my experiences of the chat. I had facebook open at the time, and soon after the chat exploded. That is when I discovered that the group was supposed to be secret. I deleted my post. The chat had gotten so nasty by then, that I was afraid to say 'I didn't mean to, sorry, I deleted it', so I stayed silent. I get it, people were angry, but the way I was dissected, and how some people would rephrase the discussions we had before, and rephrased their opinion on certain other postsers i had defended (word to indicate female 'parts' were used) did leave a bad taste.

I sent a pm later on facebook to one of the members, explaining the situation. The apology was accepted, but I was banned from the facebook group by then. I must say, that having witnessed these things in the chat, I didn't feel at ease. I knew people were being judged and rolled through the wringer behind their backs. 90% of the chatter was innocent and fun. But there was stuff amongst it that was just not cool.

I don't think that everyone in the group was bad - but it did create clique like behavior amongst some of its members.

Ehelldame

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #430 on: October 28, 2011, 11:37:53 AM »
Ms-Cellany is right. For me it says I don't have access to see it.

Oops, you are right.  The entire thread was moved to the Recycle Folder.  I'm not sure I want to move the whole thread out again.  She had posted a TMI list of what someone then referred to as her "manifesto of personal peccadilloes". She responded to that with:  I so appreciate the unneeded, unwanted judgmental douchebagging from a N00b. You want to call me a sinner? Go scrabble yourself! You sanctimonious POS! Who the F are you to judge me. JUST GET AN EFFING LIFE! OR DIE! You are a total jerk

Snark-a-rama thread all around that got removed and moderated. 

MariaE

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #431 on: October 28, 2011, 11:43:53 AM »
Wow... I'd have been tempted to think she was hacked, like... Gah, I can't remember her name, but it happened about 6 months ago. "She" posted a post full of vitrol and cussing completely unlike her usual posts - the writing style was different as well - lots of textspeak so it was pretty obvious it wasn't really her writing.
 
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Bexx27

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #432 on: October 28, 2011, 11:44:44 AM »
I'm also concerned about an atmosphere of paranoia developing. I worry that posters will be afraid to disagree with OPs or address each other bluntly for fear of being suspected as a member of the "secret troll group." Quite honestly, if the responses to Siotehcat in the "teenagers doing chores" thread are an example of this group's "cyberbullying," I think that word does not mean what you think it means. (Not to pick on Siotehcat, and I do agree with a mod's warning posters in that thread to drop it, but I think there is a huge difference between questioning a poster's admittedly unusual stance on an issue and harrassing that poster.)

  My PM inbox is getting inundated with people coming clean, explaining the situation on that group, claiming they were bullied there, naming names  and confirming that this secret group, while initially begun with good intentions, had a serious problem with organized trolling of specific people (who are named) on Ehell.  The problem was serious enough that the creator began banning people and deleting threads that could be screenshot as evidence.   

I think in the interest of transparency, an admin of that group should contact me and give me the names of the banned persons so I can ban them here as well.

Well, obviously there were/are specific cases of bullying and harrassment. I'm just saying I would hate for us to start seeing it everywhere.
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Yvaine

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #433 on: October 28, 2011, 11:45:35 AM »
Wow... I'd have been tempted to think she was hacked, like... Gah, I can't remember her name, but it happened about 6 months ago. "She" posted a post full of vitrol and cussing completely unlike her usual posts - the writing style was different as well - lots of textspeak so it was pretty obvious it wasn't really her writing.

Yeah, I remember that too. And I think we ended up losing her anyway--she decided she was spending too much time on here.

Scuba_Dog

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Re: Ex member
« Reply #434 on: October 28, 2011, 11:46:11 AM »
Wow... I'd have been tempted to think she was hacked, like... Gah, I can't remember her name, but it happened about 6 months ago. "She" posted a post full of vitrol and cussing completely unlike her usual posts - the writing style was different as well - lots of textspeak so it was pretty obvious it wasn't really her writing.

Yeah, I remember that too. And I think we ended up losing her anyway--she decided she was spending too much time on here.

That was MDFarge, I think.
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