I'm grateful to ehell for helping me through this last week. My grandfather passed away (today was his funeral). At one point I was told that a decision had been made, that while would have made my life easier, would mean that the entire family would be together without me, my husband and kids the night before the funeral. In the past, with my family, I would have gotten emotional. This time, I used the coke rule - I removed myself from the phone call nicely and quickly, and then cried. I got all the emotion out and was able to talk calmly and nicely to my family. Turns out that the decision hadn't been made yet, it was an idea that was being considered but they weren't going to make this decision without talking to me because it would affect me. But I handled it okay and I didn't fall back into old family habits. And when I did hang up the phone I almost got a coke, but didn't since I can't drink any colas.