Should I have confronted him?

[Melle]

I need your advice on something that happened to me yesterday.
I'm not quite sure if this is the right category but I didn't find a more fitting one, and this one corresponds with my reaction, so here goes:

I went to the supermarket after work and kept running into an obviously (you could smell it from one aisle over) drunk man babbling comments to himself. I avoided him as much as I could, but as coincidence has it, he came to stand right behind me at the checkout counter.

There he proceeded to mumble obscenities - I don't want to go into detail, but he went on to illustrate in very vulgar terms what he would like to do should I end up in his bedroom.

I have a thick enough skin to find this annoying, but not feel threatened. He was intoxicated to a degree where I could have probably knocked him out by coughing in his direction and I figured he possibly didn't realize he said all that out loud.

But I did ponder whether I should turn around and confront him, and had children been present, who would most likely have been fazed a lot more by his behaviour than I was, I definitely would have done so.
As it was, I chose to ignore him, as he made no move to touch or follow me and went on his way, prattling on, not even looking at me, after he had paid his groceries.

Was I right to let it go, or should I have said something?

You know how it is; you mull over clever comebacks after incidents like that one, and had he gone on harrassing me, I would have liked to say something to the effect of "Sir, first, if you're not aware, I can hear everything you are saying, second, if you are aware, I would like to point out that what you are doing is sexual harrassment, so if I hear you say -censored- or -censored- one more time, I will call the police."
Trouble is, I wouldn't want to make empty threats and I wasn't sure if murmuring obscenities aimed at me and loud enough for me to hear would count as a case of harrassment strong enough to be taken seriously when calling the authorities. I sent an e-mail to the police inquiring about that, also asking how far he would theoretically be able to go before I could ask for a patrol to come by. I'm curious what their reply will be.

[Spoder]

If he was that drunk, I think you did the right thing. He wouldn't have been capable of processing what was going on if you had confronted him, anyway.

Sorry you had to deal with that, yuck.

[missmolly]

If he was that drunk, I think you did the right thing. He wouldn't have been capable of processing what was going on if you had confronted him, anyway.

Sorry you had to deal with that, yuck.

POD. My Dad has a saying: "The only time it's worth arguing with someone who's off their face is when they're about to get into a driver's seat". Acknowledging him might have only provoked him anyway.

[Melle]

I just got the greatest comeback suggestion from my mom:
"He was standing right behind you? You should have farted."

[BeagleMommy]

It's never wise to argue with a drunkard.  I think you did well.

[mechtilde]

Don't ever try to argue with a random drunk- you have no idea if he is a mean drunk or not.

The safest option is to report him to security, or the police.

[ShadesOfGrey]

Here's the thing - in cases like this, it's not personal. He wasnt threatening *you* - he was threatening "the object in front of him" - because that's what you are at that point.  When I see things in that light,  I tend to think it's people just bluffing/posturing, and not likely to follow through, rather than a specific, directed threat at me that endangers me.

I think you did the best thing - ignoring. Speaking to him would only encourage/aggravate the situation, so I would have just walked away. 

[Twik]

First, your instincts were correct - arguing with a drunk is pointless, because his/her brain won't process it. "I can hear what you're saying about me!" goes right through the skull, without making any impact on the brain at all. If, however, he is so drunk that he cannot control his stream of consciousness, you might want get security before he moves from words to actions.

Second, and totally irrelevantly, I'm so happy to see someone use the word "faze" properly.

[dawbs]

I think arguing w/ him would be rather pointless...but I'm not a fan of 'doing nothing'. 
Right now, 'you' as someone put it, are the object in front of him and he's just talking.
I'm not keen on someone else being subjected to being that object and him *NOT* 'just talking'.

I think, personally, I'd like to think I'd have called the store and asked for security.  And 'drunk in public' is a charge that exists for just this reason. 

[Melle]

Thank you so much for all the replies! I'm relieved my instincts seem to work so well

I think, personally, I'd like to think I'd have called the store and asked for security.  And 'drunk in public' is a charge that exists for just this reason.

Not in Germany, unfortunately. Neither does special store security (at least not at regular-size supermarkets); I could have called the manager, but the man in question left right after he was done with his purchases, so I didn't see much sense in that.

[artk2002]

You did the right thing.

If you tried to confront him, you might as well have gone to the liquor section and confronted a bottle of whiskey.  Because that's what you would have been talking to if you'd tried to talk to him.  The real difference is that the bottle of whiskey will take the confrontation without trouble.  The drunk may go off on you.

[diesel_darlin]

I just got the greatest comeback suggestion from my mom:
"He was standing right behind you? You should have farted."

This. Absolutely this.

[bopper]

I would have gone to the cashier and asked them to get the manager and told them what the man was doing.

[JenJay]

I think you did the right thing. If you'd felt threatened you would be better off asking the cashier to call a manager, rather than confronting him. In my experience getting in the face of someone THAT drunk never, ever goes well. For anyone.

I worked in a grocery store and one New Year's Day, about 7am, a guy came in stumbling drunk. He was telling me and my coworker how cute we were and that we should come out with him "for New Year's". He was completely harmless, calm and friendly and seemed like a nice guy so we made the mistake of giggling and telling him New Years was over, it was 7am NYD. He freaked out. He started crying that he couldn't understand how it could be 7am the day after when he was shopping to get something for dinner before going out that night. We tried to assure him that he must have gone out and had a great time, but he wasn't having it. He thought he lost an entire day, alien abduction or something. He was so wasted it didn't occur to him that he HAD partied all night - apparently to the point of blacking out and ending up in the grocery store. We finally got him to calm down when we convinced him that you can party the night of NYD, too, and he should go home and take a nap so he can get ready to go out that night like he planned. That made him happy and he left.