I'm kind of confused...don't people typically buy gifts for 2nd...3rd...10th children? I certainly do, as do all my friends. Why is it different for each person to give their gift seperately, than to all gather and "shower" the mother with them?
It is different from the first shower. You're not sending invites to every female that the Mom-to-be knows. It's a select group of people, who should be close enough to know the whole story. It's not shopping off registeries and buying strollers. It's buying a cute outfit or a bag of diapers.
It's ironic that I'm defending them, when I had tell my MIL rather sternly last week that it was not appropriate for their family to throw me a shower for my 2nd child. But this would have been a shower with women, whom I see once a year at most. Now if my circle of girlfriends were to make the same offer, I would accept. Because I would know, they were doing it purely out of enjoyment for me and not out of obligation.