Author Topic: tricking a guest  (Read 6369 times)

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MyFamily

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tricking a guest
« on: July 26, 2007, 12:08:15 AM »
My husband does not like cinnamon - not the taste, not the smell, nothing.  He can detect the smell in our house hours after I used it (yes, I keep it in the house and will cook with it occasionally, as I enjoy it).  Did you know that Oriental 5-spice includes cinnamon?  Well, I know now...

He was not always very willing to try new foods until we got married, and he is getting better, but he just cannot eat anything with cinnamon.  He isn't rude, he just turns it down.  And when he does this, I've noticed that he'll go almost overboard complimenting the other food and appreciating other foods being served.

We were at a friends for lunch one day and they made a big deal about the dessert - a chocolate brownie pie thing.  Well, turns out it had 1/8 of a teaspoon of cinnamon in it and they made a big deal about how he ate it and it didn't kill him, etc, etc, etc.

This was a few years ago, and I'm still upset about this. 


"The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones" - Solomon ibn Gabirol

Chocolate Cake

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2007, 12:22:26 AM »
Can you explain why you were upset?    He's not allergic to cinnamon, is he?


jimithing

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2007, 12:29:19 AM »
Did they know beforehand that he has an aversion to cinnamon or did this come up afterwards?  Did they specifically make the dessert to try to trick him into eating cinnamon or did it just happen to be an ingredient?  If not, no harm no foul.

DH hates onions and I think he goes to an extreme with this.  I have no problem with keeping the fact that something has onions.  He's not allergic and if he can't tell then I won't say anything.

Rinkatink88

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2007, 01:15:52 AM »
My BF doesn't like cinnamon either - not the taste or the smell.  Says everytime he burps, that taste comes back up - ewww.  It seems to run in the family, because his brother and dad don't like cinnamon either.  Pity  - cuz I like cinnammon.  No fun in baking apple pies without it.  At least he likes the Chinese 5-spice.  He knows there's a bit cinnamon in it, however, his dad won't use even that spice and he knows there are certain Chinese dishes that must have the 5-spice in order to make it authentic.


Kiwichick

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2007, 08:33:45 AM »
It's the fact that they ignored his stated dislike for something, fed a tiny amount to him anyway - and then made fun of the fact he didn't realise he was eating something he has chosen not to.

Rude, rude, rude.

If a 'friend' did something like this to me, I'd be hard pressed not to spit it back in their smug faces.

NOVA Lady

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2007, 08:45:00 AM »
I think it is rude. I will no longer eat at the house of one person after she gleefulling revealed to us that her "beef chili" was actually made with faux meat.

I was so upset (I believe I posted about it here somewhere). Thing is...we all knew there was something wrong with the "meat" but just pushed it aside.....her thinking it was funny that she "pulled one over" on us was what was rude.

I don't think friends should be tricking each other into eating something that they know the other person prefers not to eat.

MyFamily

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2007, 09:14:59 AM »
Yes, these friends knew ahead of time he didn't like cinnamon.  I don't remember exactly how they knew, but they knew and their big thing was pulling one over on him.


"The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones" - Solomon ibn Gabirol

MyFamily

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2007, 09:17:35 AM »
My BF doesn't like cinnamon either - not the taste or the smell.  Says everytime he burps, that taste comes back up - ewww.  It seems to run in the family, because his brother and dad don't like cinnamon either.  Pity  - cuz I like cinnammon.  No fun in baking apple pies without it.  At least he likes the Chinese 5-spice.  He knows there's a bit cinnamon in it, however, his dad won't use even that spice and he knows there are certain Chinese dishes that must have the 5-spice in order to make it authentic.



Oh, my goodness!  He isn't alone in the world???  And yes, this also runs in his family - his father and at least 2 of his brothers (I don't know about the 3rd) do not like cinnamon either!  I have often wondered if in fact this is an allergy or something since it is so prevelant in his family.  We had our kids tested for some food allergies, and they had to do a blood test.  When I was looking over the list of food items they could test for, one of them was cinnamon.  I wanted my kids tested, but because we had no valid reason to do so, the doctor wouldn't and my husband won't get tested either.


"The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones" - Solomon ibn Gabirol

kittencanoedle

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2007, 09:49:32 AM »
Ugh...do not like this at all!  A bunch of adults making fun of another adult because they think they've pulled something over on him is just cruel.  He has his reasons for not wanting to eat something, and if they were aware of that, shame on them.


I think it is really, really different if a parent tricks a kid into eating something they don't like because they want to make them eat something healthy.  But an adult with an adult mind?  No way.


littleoats

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2007, 10:42:14 AM »
There's a diffirence between tricking someone in to eating something they don't like just so you can laugh at them and serving a vegetarian meal without telling people it's vegetarian.  I know when I serve a meal I don't tell people every ingredient and the heritage of the dish being served!  If someone asks a question, say what spices I used, then I answer them but it's not a big deal.  I certainly wouldn't stand there and say "oh, this chili is vegetarian, there's not cow in it, I hope that's OK" 

I have a friend who is vegetarian and her mother has been telling her that the stuffing at thanksgiving is vegetarian every year for over a decade but last year told her it wasn't, she's been cooking it in the turkey all along.  That's just malicious.

Worse yet, I have a friend with many very severe allergies one of which is citrus.  If she eats anything citrus she needs to use her epi-pen and head to the ER.  Her mother didn't believe her when she told her about these allergies (they developed after she left home, she doesn't know why yet) and gave her a meal with lime mayonnaise.  My friend took one bite, felt the symptoms coming on, asked her mother what was in it.  At this point my friend is gasping for air, on the ground and sure she's about to die.  Mommy dearest is freaking out and it fell upon her 14 year old brother to find her epi-pen, figure it out, and save his sister life.  Needless to say my friend hasn't eaten anything her mother has prepared since.

Eastsider

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2007, 10:43:57 AM »
We don't trick our kids but we don't always tell them what is in something because then they'll say they don't like it without even trying it.  For example, my DH often makes fruit smoothies with soft tofu blended in.  You cannot taste it and the kids love it.  We don't tell them about the tofu but we don't trick them.

As for adults, we are vegetarian and when we cook for guests, we always tell them what is in a dish.  We don't tend to use fake meat for cooking though so that is not usually an issue.  My DH and a vegan friend of ours have a long standing joke about the time he tried to convince her to eat organic butter.  It took a while for it to sink in to him that just because it was organic didn't mean someone who doesn't eat dairy would eat it.

In the OP, I don't see why they couldn't have left the cinnamon out if they knew your DH didn't like it or if they assumed he wouldn't taste it because the chocolate overwhelmed the taste just not saying anything.  Teasing him about it was just rude.  Eating bugs is common is some countries, maybe you should put ground up bugs in the next dish you serve them and then laugh after they eat it.

Sophia

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2007, 10:57:29 AM »

I have often wondered if a really really strong aversion, isn't sometimes an allergy that the body knows about, and takes steps to avoid. 

NOVA Lady

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2007, 11:16:08 AM »
There's a diffirence between tricking someone in to eating something they don't like just so you can laugh at them and serving a vegetarian meal without telling people it's vegetarian.  I know when I serve a meal I don't tell people every ingredient and the heritage of the dish being served!  If someone asks a question, say what spices I used, then I answer them but it's not a big deal.  I certainly wouldn't stand there and say "oh, this chili is vegetarian, there's not cow in it, I hope that's OK" 



I have to disagree with you here. She didn't say, "Its chilli", she specifically said it was "Beef Chilli", which is a lie....its faux ground meat chili and some people do not eat meat substitutes. I am one of those people and I was VERY upset at being tricked into eating soy/tofu. I don't eat that for health reasons, and my preferences are just as valid as the preferences of vegetarians. If I accomadate Veggies in my home by not serving meat, I believe veggie should acommadate reasonable guest preferences as well.

jimithing

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2007, 11:35:58 AM »
Yes, these friends knew ahead of time he didn't like cinnamon.  I don't remember exactly how they knew, but they knew and their big thing was pulling one over on him.

Then I agree that this was rude and just plain mean.  How old are these people? 5?  Like I said, if I know that someone has made something with onions in it and DH doesn't ask or he can't tell, I won't say anything to him.  But I've never been in a position where someone decides to play a practical  joke on him either.  Although DH would probably take it all in stride.  I could see his family doing this as they love to put rice in people's luggage, car, and drawers after they get married, so this kind of thing would be tame for them.

Hawkwatcher

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2007, 11:43:32 AM »
There's a diffirence between tricking someone in to eating something they don't like just so you can laugh at them and serving a vegetarian meal without telling people it's vegetarian.  I know when I serve a meal I don't tell people every ingredient and the heritage of the dish being served!  If someone asks a question, say what spices I used, then I answer them but it's not a big deal.  I certainly wouldn't stand there and say "oh, this chili is vegetarian, there's not cow in it, I hope that's OK" 



I have to disagree with you here. She didn't say, "Its chilli", she specifically said it was "Beef Chilli", which is a lie....its faux ground meat chili and some people do not eat meat substitutes. I am one of those people and I was VERY upset at being tricked into eating soy/tofu. I don't eat that for health reasons, and my preferences are just as valid as the preferences of vegetarians. If I accomadate Veggies in my home by not serving meat, I believe veggie should acommadate reasonable guest preferences as well.

She is lucky that one of the guests did not say "Oh, so that is why is tasted so bad?" 

I have eaten vegetarian meals in the past and I have no trouble eating vegetarian meals but I would not appreciate having my host/hostess lie to me for any reason.  It shows that he or she has no respect for me.