Author Topic: tricking a guest  (Read 6267 times)

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jordan

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2007, 11:44:59 AM »
I don't eat that for health reasons, and my preferences are just as valid as the preferences of vegetarians. If I accomadate Veggies in my home by not serving meat, I believe veggie should acommadate reasonable guest preferences as well.

I agree, provided that doesn't mean they have to serve meat. I don't know any omnivores who eat only meat.

I avoided tofu for health reasons, too -- and I really, really like it, when it's cooked well. But tofu is one of those things that people think it's clever to "sneak" into a dish.

"See? I knew you would like tofu!"

self-righteous zealots!  :P

Tricking someone (other than your own child) into eating something they have expressed an aversion to, is rude, disrespectful, and, as others have noted, potentially dangerous.


Elfqueen13

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #16 on: July 26, 2007, 11:47:51 AM »

I have often wondered if a really really strong aversion, isn't sometimes an allergy that the body knows about, and takes steps to avoid. 

It's a possibility.  I've never cared for mustard.  Someone suggested I try honey-mustard.  I didn't like that much either but it was tolerable.  I also didn't care for the fact that my mouth and palms itched afterwards, nor the effect on my, uh, digestion.  The itchy mouth is a clear allergy symptom and I now avoid all forms of mustard.
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willow08

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #17 on: July 26, 2007, 12:30:45 PM »
There's a big difference in giving someone something that they've told you they're allergic to and giving someone something that includes indistinguishable ingredient they just don't like. Intentionally giving someone food that they could have an allergic reaction to is intentionally causing harm.

If the cinnamon aversion went unnoticed after DBF ate the brownie pie, they shouldn't have said anything. That's rude.
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Chocolate Cake

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #18 on: July 26, 2007, 12:34:15 PM »
As an aside (and in no way an attempt to justify the hosts actions), how many dishes would you say that your husband refuses to eat due to his pickiness, versus due to allergies, in an average meal?   One?  Half?   All but one?

willow08

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #19 on: July 26, 2007, 12:35:52 PM »
P.S. Cousin's GF from way back used to tell anyone and everyone who ate or prepared food with the family how deathly allergic she was to garlic. DH and I love garlic and put it in a lot of stuff, so she and her FMIL were constantly policing us to make sure we hadn't put garlic in anything. It was annoying, we only have to be told something once.

It turns out, GF just didn't like garlic. Which was fine, but if that's the case, how about just asking if something has garlic in it and if it does, you don't eat it- instead of calling everyone in the family the day before Thanksgiving to make sure we're not putting garlic in the food?

When I asked FMIL about her part in this scheme, FMIL admitted that she knew that GF wasn't allergic, just disliked garlic, but she was afraid that if GF tasted garlic in anything she would make a huge scene and make the meal really awkward. ::)
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Trisha

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #20 on: July 26, 2007, 12:37:32 PM »
I think its rude. Even though he's not allergic and it wouldn't hurt him, it sounds like they went out of their way to feed him something with cinnamon in it just to prove their point. It doesn't sound like they just wanted that dessert and it just happened to have cinnamon in it.

Food is not something anyone should mess with. I hate those practical jokes where people put sugar in the salt shaker etc etc...

MyFamily

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #21 on: July 26, 2007, 01:37:36 PM »
There's a diffirence between tricking someone in to eating something they don't like just so you can laugh at them and serving a vegetarian meal without telling people it's vegetarian.  I know when I serve a meal I don't tell people every ingredient and the heritage of the dish being served!  If someone asks a question, say what spices I used, then I answer them but it's not a big deal.  I certainly wouldn't stand there and say "oh, this chili is vegetarian, there's not cow in it, I hope that's OK" 



I have to disagree with you here. She didn't say, "Its chilli", she specifically said it was "Beef Chilli", which is a lie....its faux ground meat chili and some people do not eat meat substitutes. I am one of those people and I was VERY upset at being tricked into eating soy/tofu. I don't eat that for health reasons, and my preferences are just as valid as the preferences of vegetarians. If I accomadate Veggies in my home by not serving meat, I believe veggie should acommadate reasonable guest preferences as well.

I also don't eat the fake meat - it does not agree with me, and try to avoid it.


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MyFamily

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #22 on: July 26, 2007, 01:40:33 PM »
As an aside (and in no way an attempt to justify the hosts actions), how many dishes would you say that your husband refuses to eat due to his pickiness, versus due to allergies, in an average meal?   One?  Half?   All but one?

I won't lie - my husband is a picky eater.  But, we went out to eat at some friends once and every-single-item on the table was something he did not like - spaghetti squash; a stir-fry with tofu; etc, etc.  There was one item with cinammon - he ate every item (and even took seconds of stuff to be polite) and complimented everything, but the item with the cinammon.  He just could not eat it.  Also, while he is picky, he is very good at not making a big deal about it - he'll eat stuff, he'll pretend to like it, he'll complement the chef and unless someone asks, he won't say anything about not taking a food item.


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retreadbride

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #23 on: July 26, 2007, 01:41:16 PM »
It's always rude.

I've got food allergies, and people have tricked me into eating things that I'm allergic to, in the hopes that they can giggle later and point out that "it didn't make you sick, did it?" One such event almost sent me to the hospital with hives. Needless to say, those friends aren't anymore.

megswsu

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #24 on: July 26, 2007, 02:34:22 PM »
There's a big difference in giving someone something that they've told you they're allergic to and giving someone something that includes indistinguishable ingredient they just don't like. Intentionally giving someone food that they could have an allergic reaction to is intentionally causing harm.

If the cinnamon aversion went unnoticed after DBF ate the brownie pie, they shouldn't have said anything. That's rude.

That's what I was thinking. Since he didn't taste it, the hosts should not have said anything and let it go. That's what I would have done. Had he noticed, and I was the host, I would have apologized with the explanation that I honestly didn't think he would taste it since the amount was so small. However this was obviously not the hosts' intent and they were incredibly rude and not someone I would want to be friends with. (and of course if someone is allergic to something, then that food/ingredient should not be used).





Twik

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #25 on: July 26, 2007, 05:30:32 PM »
The game of "Ha ha, made you eat it!" is insufferably smug and rude.
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blarg314

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #26 on: July 26, 2007, 11:42:04 PM »

I really, really hate it when people claim serious allergies when they really just dislike something.

For the host's the difference between leaving an ingredient out of every dish you cook (say garlic) and totally refiguring the menu, or knowing that most of the dishes shouldn't have garlic in them.

It also makes it more dangerous and a lot harder for people with real serious allergies.  I wonder how many of the "Oh, it can't be that bad" people have formed their opinions around people who grossly exaggerated or lied about allergies, and then later demonstrated that they really could have the ingredient without ill effect.


kherbert05

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #27 on: July 27, 2007, 03:59:44 AM »

I have often wondered if a really really strong aversion, isn't sometimes an allergy that the body knows about, and takes steps to avoid. 


I think this is completely possible. There are several foods I hated as a kid, but I didn't have a noticeable allergic reaction. I finally had allergy test done in HS (Had a full blown reaction to the skin test and had to take epi). Guess what, those foods I didn't like - intolerant of them. Not allergic yet, but repeated exposures could trigger a full blown reaction.
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Nuku

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #28 on: July 27, 2007, 10:45:56 AM »
I'll admit that I've tried to convince people to eat foods they've never tried or try something again that they had once and didn't like (especially if it's an entire cuisine - my mother had Indian food once, made by a woman from India, and decided that she hates Indian food. I've pointed out several times that she might've just not liked this one person's cooking. And my BF never liked sweet potatoes until I made him real candied sweet potatoes without a marshmallow in sight). However, I can't imagine tricking anyone into eating something they were certain they didn't like or that they were allergic to. And, as a vegetarian, if I ask what's in food and someone won't tell me, I won't eat it.

Then again, my parents never tried to trick me into eating anything. They always told my sister and me what was in food, and we had the option of picking out ingredients we didn't like (when possible). So we never suffered the fate of many kids I knew who were told to try "chocolate soup," which is really czarnina, or duck-blood soup (yes, it's brown). Here's a recipe if anyone's interested: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/duck-soup-czarnina/detail.aspx

jordan

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Re: tricking a guest
« Reply #29 on: July 27, 2007, 10:52:26 AM »
  I wonder how many of the "Oh, it can't be that bad" people have formed their opinions around people who grossly exaggerated or lied about allergies, and then later demonstrated that they really could have the ingredient without ill effect.


Good point. I wonder if the reverse is true, too: People with an aversion to certain foods -- or who avoid certain foods for other reasons just give up and say "allergy" because it's the the only way to get people to listen.

My husband, as I mentioned, doesn't eat refined sugar. He doesn't make a big deal over it, but when asked if he has any limitations, he tells people. And as often as not, once they know it's not diabetes, folks will say "but sugar isn't bad for you!"

I tend to agree with them, but that's not the point. It's about respect.