Funny things you've said/done while under anesthesia

[Sirius]

I had a colonoscopy this morning. Apparently the anesthetic doubles as a teleportation device. I was in the procedure room, wide awake, then hey presto! I was in the recovery room, wide awake. No dropping off or waking up. Just here, then there.

When I had my colonoscopy I told the nurse, "I'm so tired it won't take much to-"  Next thing I know, he's waking me up.
I asked him when they were going to start the colonoscopy, and he told me, "We're already finished."

[Ms_Cellany]

I had a colonoscopy this morning. Apparently the anesthetic doubles as a teleportation device. I was in the procedure room, wide awake, then hey presto! I was in the recovery room, wide awake. No dropping off or waking up. Just here, then there.

When I had my colonoscopy I told the nurse, "I'm so tired it won't take Imuch to-"  Next thing I know, he's waking me up.
I asked him when they were going to start the colonoscopy, and he told me, "We're already finished."

They used propofol on me. I said "That stuff that should only be used under medical supervision in a hospital setting, like where I am right now?"  The anesthetist laughed and said "Yeah. Most people flip out when they hear we're going to use Michael Jackson Juice."

[White Dragon]

When I had my wisdom teeth out, my parents took me home to sleep it off.

I remember getting up and wandering over to them and saying "I know it's just the drugs talking, but I wanted you to know that I really, really love you."

I wonder if they thought it was only the drugs that made me love them? 

Another time, my mother came to visit me in the recovery room. I asked her "Did I really hear {nurse} tell Dr. 'Smith' to {beep} off?"
I had a memory of the nurse telling the Dr off in no uncertain terms.
My mom told me that yes, that actually had happened, I hadn't imagined it!

One year, it was determined that all three of our daughters would benefit from having their tonsils out. Rather than go through this multiple times, we booked them all for the same day and my mom (retired OR nurse) came up to help.

We soon discovered that:

DD#1 vomits while recovering from anesthesia and does better with extra oxygen.
DD#2 is hostile and argumentative (she wanted out of this hotel and she wanted out *now*!)
DD #3 was just spacey. The "gauze girl" in the video? That's how DD#3 is.

It was an interesting evening...

[alegria]

I've only been put out once, to have my wisdom teeth pulled out.  I didn't do anything particularly weird, but apparently I did keep insisting my nose was itchy when they were starting the procedure.  How did I find this out?  I partially woke up during the procedure and tried to hug my teddy bear in my lap because I was scared, and my hands were strapped down to the armrests.  I started whimpering from fear and the anesthesiologist noticed and turned the drugs back up and I went back out, thankfully.  He tried to tell me later that I didn't wake up but I wasn't buying it and he finally admitted it had happened.

[Piratelvr1121]

I  apparently lose my filters when I'm on anesthesia of any sort.  I got my deviated septum fixed when I was a teen, as around 4 I fell down the stairs and it became deviated and it wasn't till I was in my early teens that an ENT doc found that out and in preparation for a jaw surgery I needed to have the deviated septum fixed, tonsillectomy and wisdom teeth out. 

When I had my tonsillectomy I wasn't saying a whole lot for obvious reasons but after the deviated septum came out and I was released from recovery the nurse came in to take out my IV.  Now I hate getting IV's and it's only been the rare few times it's not hurt all that much.  Most of the time it hurts like a-well you know, but it's not a term that would get past the filters.

So I was bracing myself for pain but the IV didn't hurt nearly as much coming out as it did going in and I blurted out "Wow, that didn't suck at all!" which was a saying oft used by my dad's two sisters that my mother didn't care for cause it wasn't lady like and I got quite the lecture for it in the car. 

A few days after the wisdom teeth came out, the feeling had come back and I was swollen as all get out cause they took all 4 out at once and my parents were insistent I attend a Christmas party.  I was old enough to stay home alone but noooope, I had to dress up and take my puffy face along too and I complained about it too.  I think I was around 14 or 15 and I'm sitting in the back seat sulking and saying something like "Couldn't stay home by myself, nope! Gatta show off the good ol' Richard Nixon jowls to the family friends!" 

*Seriously, I was pretty swollen and when I looked in the mirror that's just what I felt was looking back at me.  Thankfully the rentals were laughing to hard to be mad. 

[hermanne]

When I had my wisdom teeth out, I opted for "twilight sleep". I fell asleep. I remember waking up sometime during the procedure, looking around and deciding there was nothing interesting for me to see. So I went back to sleep.

[Elfmama]

Most of the time it hurts like a-well you know, but it's not a term that would get past the filters.

"Hurts like a son-of-a-sock-monkey" won't make it past the filters? 

No weird stories of my own, but after I had my appendix out, the girl in the next bed kept rambling on about her appendix and how when they took it out they must have taken out her lady-bits too, because she couldn't feel them anymore.  (Only she didn't use the euphemism.)

[Snooks]

I remember coming round from anaesthetic and thinking that I really liked the nurse's top (it had teddy bears on it) then I complained that it hurt and demanded to be rolled onto the side of my body they'd just cut open.  I then spent five days in hospital vomitting.  I'm not going under general anaesthetic again if I can help it and I'm certainly not taking morphine which was not all it's cracked up to be.

[Bijou]

After I had surgery and was back in my room in a very rummy state, I could hear the nurse asking me all the same questions she had asked me before I went into surgery (like, "How long has it been since you have eaten", Do you have contacts in?" etc.) and I was answering but becoming annoyed by having to answer all over again and finally said, testily, "You already asked me all those questions!"  My husband started laughing  because the nurse was not talking to me.  She was questioning the new patient in the next bed before she went for her operation.
I was so blurry that my answers and protest probably sounded like "bwahhh duh bwah smushinvusherling".  I  hope, so I don't have to feel so darned foolish!
Someone I know, while coming out of surgery, told the surgeon, 'Your wife looks just like Elizabeth Taylor."  I thought that was cute.

[JenJay]

Too bad it would probably be unethical for surgical staff to publish a book of things they've seen/heard from patients. That'd be a riot!! Maybe if they were careful to keep all names, locations and procedures annonymous... 

[Hillia]

Like many people, I hate having dental work done.  So when I had to have a root canal/post building/crown, I found a dentist who does nitrous sedation (I highly recommend it).  While I was fully awake, I was very relaxed, and told the dentist several times, 'This nitrous stuff is gooooooooood!'

[JenJay]

I just demembered this -

When I had my wisdom teeth removed the oral surgeon gave me a pill to take at home before we headed to the office, just to help me begin the process. It made me feel drunk and I recall literally stumbling into a wall before DH told me I probably ought to sit down until it was time to go. I was really worried I'd make a fool of myself at the office, but fortunately I did well.

That is until we were well underway. The nitrous was doing its job, keeping me happy and helping the hours fly by like minutes. All of a sudden I had an uncontrollable urge to giggle. I remember lying there thinking "Do not laugh. If you laugh they'll think you're overmedicated and turn it off!" I was trying so hard not to laugh that I started making this loud panting sound, except I didn't realize I was doing it until someone asked "You okay down there?" I took a few moments to compose myself and mumbled "Uh huh". Then he asked "Do you need me to turn it down?" and I yelled "NO!" which made him chuckle.

[ShanghaiJill]

I had my wisdom teeth out and while I was zonked out, the dentist started singing and I merely said "shut up!"


I suppose I was better off than the patient who self medicated before the procedure and left her kids in the car.