Author Topic: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!  (Read 8587 times)

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VorFemme

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2014, 08:57:32 PM »
Grandpa said something to Grandma in German...I asked what "____ ____" meant.  It meant that I lost all motivation to learn what Grandpa had been saying, as apparently it was not something a three year old girl should have been repeating...
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Minmom3

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #16 on: June 26, 2014, 06:19:43 PM »
Most kids easily learn that adults get to say certain things that the kids are not allowed to say.  Most kids also easily learn that parents allow certain behavior that grandparents don't.  I learned that early on.  My children learned that early on.  Hell - even our PETS learn that early on!
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blueyzca01

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2014, 04:23:59 PM »
I try to reign in the language a little bit when Iím at my sisterís house, but sometimes it just comes out.  My nieces know that some adults say those words, their mom and grandparents donít but Aunt Blueyz most certainly does. 

And that is why Iím known around that house as ďInappropriate Aunt Blueyz.Ē
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mlkind1789

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #18 on: November 13, 2014, 11:32:49 PM »
I have told my mother "you had your turn to be mama, and I think you did a bang up job at it, but this is my turn. You get to be grandmama now."  That usually gets the point across that, while I value her experience, these are my kids and I am raising them how I see fit.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #19 on: November 14, 2014, 08:07:15 AM »
Is it possible that this aunt and the child have over the six years had a closer relationship than you've maybe directly observed? Something to keep in mind is that your perception of her role/their relationship may not be the same as how your fiances daughter sees her relationship with her aunt.

Not to be harsh but maybe you aren't the only one thinking that boundaries are being overstepped?

This is my aunt and my DF's biological daughter.  This is the first time they have ever met (they met the day before, but this is in totality the first time they have ever met each other overall).

Ah got it - I thought I recalled you posting about his sister in the past and had my aunts confused - sorry!

No worries, I did indeed post about his sister as well.


lowspark, that's what I'm trying to think up: a better response than mine. I like your suggestion and may just use it in the future.

"I'll give your opinion its due consideration."
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Mental Magpie

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #20 on: November 14, 2014, 09:31:41 AM »
I haven't spoken to my mom about it yet, but I did have a talk with my sister. She and I disagree, but she said she would respect my boundaries and it would stop on her end. She thinks family is allowed to tell each other how to parent, in so few words. I told her it absolutely was not her place.

She also seems to think that raising a toddler and raising a first grader are comparable. They aren't, they just aren't.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #21 on: November 14, 2014, 11:16:08 AM »
Wow, a toddler the same as a 6 year old?  ???  While I don't use baby talk and use the same tone for all ages, I'd be using different language to 'splain something to a 3 year old than how I'd get the point across to one who is 6. As well as different discipline tactics.  That, and with a 3 year old, I might be more inclined to attribute poor behavior (excessive whining/tantruming) to need for sleep than I would for someone in first grade.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Mental Magpie

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Re: Holy boundary stomping, Batman!
« Reply #22 on: November 14, 2014, 11:32:23 AM »
Wow, a toddler the same as a 6 year old?  ???  While I don't use baby talk and use the same tone for all ages, I'd be using different language to 'splain something to a 3 year old than how I'd get the point across to one who is 6. As well as different discipline tactics.  That, and with a 3 year old, I might be more inclined to attribute poor behavior (excessive whining/tantruming) to need for sleep than I would for someone in first grade.

Exactly. They are apples and oranges.
The problem with choosing the lesser of two evils is that you're still choosing evil.