Etiquette School is in session! > "So kind of you to take an interest."

comments on financial state

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--- Quote from: Reason on December 07, 2011, 09:14:57 AM ---When people ask me how much I make, I usually say "Enough." So far no one has attempted to pry out more details.

--- End quote ---

I used to date this guy who felt the need to strike up a conversation with every stranger he met (kind of drove me nuts when he and I were out for a walk together and I'd be telling him something, and in the middle of it he'd cut me off to say to some stranger, "Hey, that's a great car, what year is it?" or some such nonsense, but that's another e-hell topic; I have a long history of dating guys who do this).

One time we were out for a walk and (to my horror) he asked a complete stranger how much he'd paid for his car, and the guy just replied, "Enough." That did end the questioning.

Oh dear. Unfortunately I had a very...inappropriate probing into my finances not too long ago when I was speaking with a financial aid adviser for the prestigious art college I had been accepted to. 

In short, I had been grossly mislead throughout the application process, told that based on my financial aid submission I would be covered for much higher then I was given after being accepted into the school (of course..) and was speaking with the financial aid department about the scenario, after discussing everything that happened and what I was going to be needing with classes and so on. When the woman I was speaking with said to me;

"So do you have the money for this?"

I managed to stutter out that no, I didn't and explained that I was lead to believe I was accepted into the school based on a higher financial aid coverage.  To which this woman, an adult who works solely with directing students in the right financial direction, said to me;

"Don't you have family that can pay it for you?"

Yes. I was told this. By a college's financial aid department. Woooooow...

I declined to attend the college and was able to drop my classes before the cut off date. I later got an email from my counselor asking if there was anything they could do to have me still attend.

If all goes well I will be attending a different college (just across the street from the previous one!) in the fall, of which many friends have attended and can attest to being just as good at half the cost and hopefully a little less rudeness. Friend, S, had attended with Boyfriend both doing Graphic Design programs and S completing work in Web Design as well. On top of other friends who attended for the similar degree's in the art field and all really enjoyed their time at this different college. For the record, I am looking to get into their Entertainment Art's program and have a feeling I'll enjoy this school far more!

I certainly wish my mother would listen to my attempts to beandip her or other tactics described here when it comes to my finances.   She loves to stick her nose into my business and others when she should not.  I just have to keep on trying!

Drawberry, private not-for-profit and for-profit colleges are notorious for telling prospective students they will get this or that amount of aid, then it all being unavailable when the tuition, fees and books are due, usually too late for the student to drop the classes without having to pay for them. I work in a state college and I have heard that from so many students.

Working for the state, our salaries are public knowledge and posted on a few newspaper websites. It makes for interesting conversations, since everyone knows what we make, with a little online searching.

I discussed finances with my parents in the earlier stages of my career because it was so much fun to go from college student to starving artist to career and see my income increase in such big steps. Sharing that with my parents gave them a sense of accomplishment after having been so supportive throughout my education and other choices.

After some time, though, we gradually closed off those conversations. It was time for a little privacy.

Now I only discuss finances with my financial advisor. Sometimes I've discussed what we paid for some big purchase (house, car, etc), but it has only been with two close friends who have similar household incomes to mine. We've all noticed that we share this level of comfort with each other because of our similar financial situations, so we see 'expensive' and 'affordable' from very similar perspectives, and we've developed histories of not judging each other. I appreciate those friendships as a rare find.


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