comments on financial state

[Adelaide]

I was raised with the mindset that it was rude to talk about finances.  Personal finances, mind you, not generic comments like "That's a bargain for that pair of shoes!" or "Why is the price of gold so high right now?"  I never maintained any delusions that everyone else was raised the same way, but now that I've come to college people seem to have gotten nosier. I have to deal with the inevitable "you must be loaded!" or "why doesn't your mom work?" statements all the time. The other day I was at a friend's apartment and her (drunk) roommate inquired about the state of my bank account, so I pasted on a smile and said "So kind of you to take an interest!" in the perkiest voice imaginable. The conversation died. Instantly. (Thank God for small miracles.) The roommate later told my friend that she found me creepy. 

"So kind of you to take an interest" has been a lifesaver. I've found that people are often relentlessly nosy and you can't always beandip effectively, especially if there's no beandip or distractions around. This response has literally left people speechless, and I'm terribly fond of it.

[NestHolder]

*applause!*

[Animala]

That could come in handy.

[Mental Magpie]

I'm in college and don't work.  I get asked all of the time how I am affording college.  I always just say, "I manage."  Other people assume I have financial aid; I can't get it.  Really, it's none of their business, and you did great with your reply!

[MacadamiaNut]

One time on a first date, the guy asked me what my net worth was.  I wish I had been reading eHell back then.  Ummm, who does that?   

Needless to say there was no second date.

OP, good phrase usage!  Back in the day I would have inquired, "Why are you concerned about that?" but now I know better... why provide an opening for that line of conversation to continue?  Thank you eHell!

[Isometric]

One time on a first date, the guy asked me what my net worth was.  I wish I had been reading eHell back then.  Ummm, who does that?   

Lol, can't imagine why he didn't get a second date!

I had a "friend" who is always asking questions like that - just straight out "how much do you earn?"

[nuit93]

One time on a first date, the guy asked me what my net worth was.  I wish I had been reading eHell back then.  Ummm, who does that?   

Needless to say there was no second date.

OP, good phrase usage!  Back in the day I would have inquired, "Why are you concerned about that?" but now I know better... why provide an opening for that line of conversation to continue?  Thank you eHell!

Maybe he was looking for a sugar mama 

[donsbon]

my husband and i get this a lot too. subjects ranging from how many investment properties we have (and therefore how rich we must be, when i reality, we have  LOT of mortgage debt to the bank!), our incomes and the price of my engagement ring seem to all be open for discussion... funny how other people seem to think they know how much my husband spent on my ring, when i dont!

[Mental Magpie]

my husband and i get this a lot too. subjects ranging from how many investment properties we have (and therefore how rich we must be, when i reality, we have  LOT of mortgage debt to the bank!), our incomes and the price of my engagement ring seem to all be open for discussion... funny how other people seem to think they know how much my husband spent on my ring, when i dont!

Or how much he didn't spend!  I have a very beautiful piece of jewelry that cost approximately $15.  People see it and moon over it and say, "Oh, that must have been so expensive!"  Nope, I spent my week's lunch money on it (how much I budgeted myself at the time to force myself to eat more food from home). 

[MacadamiaNut]

It does seem to be an obsession with some people... as if they rely on this information for themselves for some purpose.  As to what purpose it serves, I have yet to figure out!  I guess if that's your cup of tea, then great, but it's not for me.  I hate it when people try to estimate how much i make based on where i live, what i do, etc.  These are off-limit conversations.  In terms of a love interest, that has always been a deal-breaker for me!

And i agree, donsbon, it's funny that they have no idea how much student loan debt, as well as other struggles, i have!

[Reason]

When people ask me how much I make, I usually say "Enough." So far no one has attempted to pry out more details.

[Lady Snowdon]

When people ask me how much I make, I usually say "Enough." So far no one has attempted to pry out more details.

This made me laugh, because my normal response to this question is "not enough to do everything I want to!".    Or I'll say something like "Why?  Are you planning on paying me more?" with a big cheerful smile. 

My DH, my mom, and my employer know how much I make, and my mom only knows because I slipped up in conversation with her one day.  A former coworker told me one day how much someone was making at a different department; turns out he knew the guy's wife and asked her how much he was making!  I couldn't believe someone would have that kind of audacity; I'm pretty sure I actually gasped out loud when he told me. 

[Ereine]

It does seem to be an obsession with some people... as if they rely on this information for themselves for some purpose.  As to what purpose it serves, I have yet to figure out! 

I suspect that some people have a very strong sense of hierarchy and rely on being able to classify people according to their own criteria, if they can't they don't know how they're supposed to act. I think that the criteria isn't necessarily financial, I've heard of people who sort others according to their relationship status, like being married with two children is the highest, then is married with one child, then married with no children, engaged, dating and completely single and they will actually treat people differently, like their value depends on that.

[glacio]

There has been talk of incomes in my close group of friends. We all recently graduated and have been using each other as gauges for how much our degree is worth. The number is normally given freely, or asked about with the disclaimer of only if you want to tell me. It is normally followed with "oh that's a good amount" as opposed to the poverty wages that some of us unemployed people are fearing.

In a few years when job paths have changed and income is based on something other then just the degree, my friends probably won't talk about it, but for now it is very reassuring. Just an example of why some people talk about wages, although I realize that this is a fairly special situation.

[Nayners]

As I got older I realized that people will ask questions of a personal nature for no particular reason. I have no problem answering because I've learned the art of being vague when answering certain questions. Most will understand that I'm not going to give an answer so they let it drop. If I was on a date and a guy asked me my "net worth" I simply would not answer him. I really mean not a peep would come from my mouth, and I would give him this blank stare that I've perfected that says it all. It works every time!