Author Topic: comments on financial state  (Read 19036 times)

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MacadamiaNut

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #15 on: January 09, 2012, 10:31:46 AM »
If I was on a date and a guy asked me my "net worth" I simply would not answer him. I really mean not a peep would come from my mouth, and I would give him this blank stare that I've perfected that says it all. It works every time!

Hahaha!  I think I need to perfect my blank stare and practice this more!
Paperweights, for instance - has anyone ever established what, when, and why
paper has to be weighed down? ::) ~Don Aslett

tsylvain

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2012, 04:40:54 AM »
I agree with the OP and others that questions about money should usually be off limits.  However, since no one brought this up, I thought I would mention one possible reason for discussing this kind of information.  I've heard that sharing salary information can be empowering.  Several employees working for the same company might decide to exchange information about salaries in order to inform their colleagues about what they can fairly ask for when negotiating a raise.  Of course, the people participating in such a discussion should not feel coerced to reveal private information, but a group of like-minded people might decide to make salary negotiations more equitable and transparent.       

Having said that, I can't imagine any justifiable reason for discussing "net worth" on a date or for asking someone how much he or she paid for a house, painting, piece of jewelry, etc.  :P

lollylegs

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #17 on: January 15, 2012, 01:44:24 AM »
Gah, this drives me crazy! Like you, I was taught that personal finances are not casual conversation fodder. I don't care if other people want to discuss their salary but I won't. But when I tell people I'm a freelance writer the first question is always "How much money do you make?"  I respond with, "You tell me first."  One time someone said, without a hint of irony or self awareness, "That's a bit personal."

kckgirl

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #18 on: January 15, 2012, 07:20:12 AM »
My mother (who has a retirement income) lives with me now, and she doesn't know how much I make or when my paydays are. She has never asked. We have enough for all of our needs and a lot of our wants, which is really all that matters.
Maryland

Sharnita

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #19 on: January 21, 2012, 02:31:57 PM »
One time on a first date, the guy asked me what my net worth was.  I wish I had been reading eHell back then.  Ummm, who does that?   ::)

Needless to say there was no second date.

OP, good phrase usage!  Back in the day I would have inquired, "Why are you concerned about that?" but now I know better... why provide an opening for that line of conversation to continue?  Thank you eHell!

In a case like that I think I would say "I'm priceless"

MacadamiaNut

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #20 on: January 22, 2012, 11:59:11 AM »
One time on a first date, the guy asked me what my net worth was.  I wish I had been reading eHell back then.  Ummm, who does that?   ::)

Needless to say there was no second date.

OP, good phrase usage!  Back in the day I would have inquired, "Why are you concerned about that?" but now I know better... why provide an opening for that line of conversation to continue?  Thank you eHell!

In a case like that I think I would say "I'm priceless"

Oh YES!  That's a good one!!
Paperweights, for instance - has anyone ever established what, when, and why
paper has to be weighed down? ::) ~Don Aslett

TheOtherLove

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #21 on: February 21, 2012, 11:57:49 AM »
Uggg.  I had a little asian lady at the store I frequent on my breaks ask me how much I make.  My standard answer is "not enough"  she then started guessing, 9 dollars?  10 dollars?.  I told her no, it is more then that I have to have a degree to do my job and have been in this field for 10 years.  And that made her stop.  I think she was trying to connect and maybe in her country that is a more acceptable line of conversation.  We get the same with our friends....they think we are loaded becuase we have a house and a car and are under 30.  We live in a lower cost neighborhood and bought our car from a rental place for 1/2 price.  Most of the people I know well do know that we are very frugal and that allows us to spend more on what we value.  People who buy dvd's have 500 dollar car payments and get starbucks everyday...just don't get it and usualy seem not to want to hear how I cut back in other areas to afford what I value.  I tend to cut out people who are the one uppers....those seem to be the ones that always ask costs.  I grew up the same way as the OP.  Money is not discussed in social settings, unless you are splitting a bill.  My grandfather has also taught me not to reach for the bill at a dinning place, unless you then want to pay.  LOL.

Miss March

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #22 on: February 21, 2012, 12:07:01 PM »
I had a woman I had just met ask me if we owned a house and what we had paid for it.  ???
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying good bye so hard.-- Winnie the Poo

Sirius

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #23 on: February 21, 2012, 05:07:31 PM »
Back when I was single apparently men thought I was worth a lot more than I actually was, since I owned a mobile home.  I got hit up several times by men wanting to move into my second bedroom, which wasn't happening.  I told one persistent individual that no man moves in with me unless he marries me first, and in his case that wasn't happening.  Yes, it was probably rude, but the subject never came up again. 

SamiHami

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #24 on: February 22, 2012, 12:17:58 AM »
Someone recently asked me how much DH makes! I was especially shocked because the person that asked is usually very polite and she's just someone I've never considered to be particularly nosy. I simply replied that we don't discuss our personal finances and she didn't ask again.

I gave her a pass on that one because 1. she and her DH have been having a very rough time financially the past couple of months 2. She has never pried for personal information before and 3. She had consumed a couple of drinks and I suspect her money woes were top-of-mind. I think she immediately regretted asking.

Now, if she ever asks again I'll have to say something about it. Hopefully that won't happen.

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Raintree

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #25 on: February 25, 2012, 12:10:02 AM »
When people ask me how much I make, I usually say "Enough." So far no one has attempted to pry out more details.

I used to date this guy who felt the need to strike up a conversation with every stranger he met (kind of drove me nuts when he and I were out for a walk together and I'd be telling him something, and in the middle of it he'd cut me off to say to some stranger, "Hey, that's a great car, what year is it?" or some such nonsense, but that's another e-hell topic; I have a long history of dating guys who do this).

One time we were out for a walk and (to my horror) he asked a complete stranger how much he'd paid for his car, and the guy just replied, "Enough." That did end the questioning.

Drawberry

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #26 on: March 01, 2012, 07:11:17 PM »
Oh dear. Unfortunately I had a very...inappropriate probing into my finances not too long ago when I was speaking with a financial aid adviser for the prestigious art college I had been accepted to. 

In short, I had been grossly mislead throughout the application process, told that based on my financial aid submission I would be covered for much higher then I was given after being accepted into the school (of course..) and was speaking with the financial aid department about the scenario, after discussing everything that happened and what I was going to be needing with classes and so on. When the woman I was speaking with said to me;

"So do you have the money for this?"

I managed to stutter out that no, I didn't and explained that I was lead to believe I was accepted into the school based on a higher financial aid coverage.  To which this woman, an adult who works solely with directing students in the right financial direction, said to me;

"Don't you have family that can pay it for you?"

Yes. I was told this. By a college's financial aid department. Woooooow...

I declined to attend the college and was able to drop my classes before the cut off date. I later got an email from my counselor asking if there was anything they could do to have me still attend.

If all goes well I will be attending a different college (just across the street from the previous one!) in the fall, of which many friends have attended and can attest to being just as good at half the cost and hopefully a little less rudeness. Friend, S, had attended with Boyfriend both doing Graphic Design programs and S completing work in Web Design as well. On top of other friends who attended for the similar degree's in the art field and all really enjoyed their time at this different college. For the record, I am looking to get into their Entertainment Art's program and have a feeling I'll enjoy this school far more!

MissRose

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #27 on: September 09, 2014, 11:23:33 AM »
I certainly wish my mother would listen to my attempts to beandip her or other tactics described here when it comes to my finances.   She loves to stick her nose into my business and others when she should not.  I just have to keep on trying!

ladyknight1

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #28 on: September 09, 2014, 12:33:34 PM »
Drawberry, private not-for-profit and for-profit colleges are notorious for telling prospective students they will get this or that amount of aid, then it all being unavailable when the tuition, fees and books are due, usually too late for the student to drop the classes without having to pay for them. I work in a state college and I have heard that from so many students.

Working for the state, our salaries are public knowledge and posted on a few newspaper websites. It makes for interesting conversations, since everyone knows what we make, with a little online searching.

mime

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Re: comments on financial state
« Reply #29 on: September 09, 2014, 01:37:19 PM »
I discussed finances with my parents in the earlier stages of my career because it was so much fun to go from college student to starving artist to career and see my income increase in such big steps. Sharing that with my parents gave them a sense of accomplishment after having been so supportive throughout my education and other choices.

After some time, though, we gradually closed off those conversations. It was time for a little privacy.

Now I only discuss finances with my financial advisor. Sometimes I've discussed what we paid for some big purchase (house, car, etc), but it has only been with two close friends who have similar household incomes to mine. We've all noticed that we share this level of comfort with each other because of our similar financial situations, so we see 'expensive' and 'affordable' from very similar perspectives, and we've developed histories of not judging each other. I appreciate those friendships as a rare find.