Etiquette School is in session! > Complete Silence

Comments About Weight from Passerby

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Minmom3:
My dear darling grandmother was driving down the road with her 2nd husband, my step-grandfather, when a car load of idiots mooned them.  She asked her husband why that car had pigs in it....  He knew they were getting mooned, but Gram honestly thought the car had pigs in it, since the moons were large, pink and pale...  Yay Grandma!   ;D

Otterpop:
They do it because they hate themselves and must unload it on someone else to feel better (mommy didn't love them enough, daddy bullied them or was absent, etc.).  That's what I've read anyway.  Secure people don't do that.

BTW, I'm an average size and my self esteem vascillates too:  I'm getting older, I have a pimple today, my teeth are crooked, it's always something.  But overall, I like myself - take it or leave it.  If you're nasty, self-loathing dweeb, leave me alone!  Ignore them and carry on like the queen you are.

EMuir:
I'm plus size as well, and I've been insulted, but I've also seen other women insulted just because they happened to be walking down the street.  I like to shout "Compensate!" after them because it makes me chuckle when I think of why they need to insult strangers... Because they have to compensate for being inadequate in other areas of their lives.

tallone:
People can be mean. It's honestly that simple. We can be perfectly respectful in one situation and frothing at the mouth offensive a moment later in another.

I've stopped agreeing with statements about inadequacies or people hating themselves or insecurities. It's not always likely and strays too close to a retaliatory insult. I've come to believe responding to insults with insults is akin to responding rudely to rudeness - something this forum explicitly discourages.

People are just mean sometimes.

Iris:

--- Quote from: tallone on November 07, 2011, 01:34:02 AM ---*snip*

People are just mean sometimes.

--- End quote ---

I take your point, but I don't think it addresses the question. *I* have never been randomly mean to a total stranger. I don't think that it is because I am a super nice higher-order of human (sooo not that) but because the 'average' person needs some sort of connection to someone to be mean.

Usually when one stoops to meanness it is in some way motivated by a desire to hurt - you make a nasty remark to a loved one to 'punish' them for something, or because you have been hurt and want to hurt back, or because you want to show your friends that you are tough and don't care about anything. These are very human impulses but they require a connection with the victim. Hence you are much more likely to be physically harmed by someone you know rather than a stranger.

So for something like this, people (including me) don't understand WHY you would target a total stranger. It takes energy to be nasty - why 'waste' that energy on a total stranger? Literally, what do they get from it? Hence theories about insecurity etc.

I don't have the answer - maybe some people just are total jerks. However I don't believe that this type of jerkiness is a universal human condition.

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