Author Topic: Comments About Weight from Passerby  (Read 47434 times)

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Jocelyn

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #45 on: June 12, 2012, 11:02:21 PM »
My favorite response is to clasp my hands to my face, jerk my head left-right-left, and gasp, 'I'm FAT? I wasn't fat when I left home this morning! What happened?' in a mock-hysterical tone of voice.
If there are spectators, they generally start laughing, which takes away from the bully's joy.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #46 on: June 12, 2012, 11:20:06 PM »
I got a comment once from a janitor in a building I was working in, when I went to the vending machine in the basement break room to get a snack.  It was along the lines of "You don't need to be eatin' that!"  ::) Fer chrissake, I wasn't even chubby!

I said "No, but I want to" and walked away.

One thing I love about the area I'm living in now.  People don't seem as apt to comment on another person's weight, or at least I don't hear it as much. Where I used to live, people seemed to think there was nothing wrong about not only commenting about a person's weight, but what they were eating, too.  Even if that person wasn't overweight. 
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Venus193

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #47 on: June 13, 2012, 07:28:02 AM »
The truly disturbing thing about all this is that we can only expect it to get worse.  I just witnessed a thread being deleted on another forum because of the derogatory remarks made about women who didn't shave off all their body hair and notes of pity to those young males who have been growing up on the latest p0rn whose performers look completely unrealistic.

One another message board about Snow White and the Huntsman (which I highly recommend) the longest threads are about what the two lead actresses look like, one going on about Kristen Stewart needing breast implants.

Dove has a social mission on the subject of the narrow definition of beauty, but I think it needs more exposure:

http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/Self-Esteem-Statistics.aspx

MissRose

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #48 on: June 18, 2012, 08:17:14 AM »
The truly disturbing thing about all this is that we can only expect it to get worse.  I just witnessed a thread being deleted on another forum because of the derogatory remarks made about women who didn't shave off all their body hair and notes of pity to those young males who have been growing up on the latest p0rn whose performers look completely unrealistic.

One another message board about Snow White and the Huntsman (which I highly recommend) the longest threads are about what the two lead actresses look like, one going on about Kristen Stewart needing breast implants.

Dove has a social mission on the subject of the narrow definition of beauty, but I think it needs more exposure:

http://www.dove.us/Social-Mission/Self-Esteem-Statistics.aspx

Thank you for the link Venus, will have to check it out sometime.

I can't believe some people would go on about which actresses and other female celebs need to modify their body in a certain way by weight or implant etc.




Venus193

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #49 on: June 18, 2012, 10:33:20 AM »
It blows my mind.

When I began watching Spanish-language television I noticed that Venezuelan novela actors of both sexes and under the age of 40 looked like they were stamped out of a Xerox machine.  All the females looked like they stepped off the pages of Vogue while all the men looked like GQ models.  I recently checked out an episode and didn't see a single performer more than 35 years old, even for characters that should be 45 or more years old.

The Mexican ones still have people of all ages who look somewhat distinctive although most of the females under 40 have been surgically enhanced below the shoulders.

In Brazil (one of the plastic surgery capitals of the world) there are still actresses who have not gone down this road.  They have a casting option the others don't:  They can perform in novelas de epoca, or ones in period costumes.
« Last Edit: June 18, 2012, 11:02:29 AM by Venus193 »

TurtleDove

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #50 on: June 18, 2012, 10:38:00 AM »
I wonder how Dove reached those statistics?  I must run with an atypically self-assured crowd because I can't think of the last time any close friend of mine bemoaned her appearance.  I wish all people were confident and happy being the best they can be without comparing to anyone else!

Venus193

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #51 on: June 18, 2012, 11:03:55 AM »
Most women I know don't discuss their body-image issues in public, so you never know.

TurtleDove

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #52 on: June 18, 2012, 11:10:24 AM »
Most women I know don't discuss their body-image issues in public, so you never know.

Most women I am close to discuss races they are running or the new yoga class and are very positive about their bodies, though it's more a statement of "look what I can do!" rather than "look at my body!"  I guess that is what I meant - the women I am close to have pretty obviously positive body image and I wish that for everyone.  I should add that the women I am speaking of are not all cookie-cutter size zeros either - just confident women who are being their best selves and are proud of themselves (and we are all proud of each other)!

Jones

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #53 on: June 18, 2012, 11:12:24 AM »
I was talking to a friend last week and I mentioned someone I knew who is trying to lose weight and fit into a wedding dress two sizes smaller than her current size. It wasn't rational, to me, to buy an undersized dress when it was obvious one would fit into a different dress; why add the stress of losing weight to the rest of wedding planning stress when you could easily look pretty and be comfortable in your current size?

My friend replied "But really, most of us aren't comfortable at our current size." I'll admit, I don't feel as fat as I am, I'm trying to lose some excess pounds so my image in the mirror matches the body I feel, but somehow losing weight to fit into an undersized wedding dress just didn't seem the same to me.

Autumn Rose

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #54 on: July 08, 2012, 08:14:06 PM »

I havent read all of the responses....but I was reading the archives and I found a quote I think would be great to use!

"Better to be big in person, than small in heart"

CrochetFanatic

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #55 on: July 08, 2012, 11:08:47 PM »
It's happened to me a couple times, and I had two very different responses to each one.

The first one was a woman behind me in the pharmacy line who tapped me on the shoulder and asked me, "When are you due?"  And she was completely serious, as far as I could tell.  I simply told her I wasn't pregnant, and faced the pharmacy counter once more.  She apologized, I said "That's all right." even though it wasn't, and that was the end of it.

The second one was a rather mean-spirited comment by an employee, though.  They got rid of the Borders in our mall back when that chain still existed, and replaced it with a clothing store.  I could tell before I went in that it was for people of a slimmer physique than I possessed, but I was Christmas shopping, and I thought I might find some gift ideas in there.  The girl at the sales desk completely ignored me (which I didn't really notice at first), but greeted the next two customers, who were quite slender.  I noticed that, but didn't really think anything of it until she finally began to look annoyed.  Finally, the girl said to me, "Excuse me, but I really don't think we have anything here that would fit you."  I realized I wasn't imagining an attitude where one didn't exist, and pasted on a fake smile, saying, "Actually, I'm doing my Christmas shopping.  I think I'll look elsewhere, though, thanks."  It worked out fine, because I found something similar to an item I'd had my eye on, for a better price, in another store.

I'd gotten comments like that all through middle and high school, so by that time I had a pretty thick skin.  It makes me angry, though.  Sometimes a person might not be able to regulate their weight for health reasons.  I have an under-active thyroid, and can't lose weight no matter what I try!

Fleur

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #56 on: July 09, 2012, 05:40:03 AM »
It's happened to me a couple times, and I had two very different responses to each one.

The first one was a woman behind me in the pharmacy line who tapped me on the shoulder and asked me, "When are you due?"  And she was completely serious, as far as I could tell.  I simply told her I wasn't pregnant, and faced the pharmacy counter once more.  She apologized, I said "That's all right." even though it wasn't, and that was the end of it.

The second one was a rather mean-spirited comment by an employee, though.  They got rid of the Borders in our mall back when that chain still existed, and replaced it with a clothing store.  I could tell before I went in that it was for people of a slimmer physique than I possessed, but I was Christmas shopping, and I thought I might find some gift ideas in there.  The girl at the sales desk completely ignored me (which I didn't really notice at first), but greeted the next two customers, who were quite slender.  I noticed that, but didn't really think anything of it until she finally began to look annoyed.  Finally, the girl said to me, "Excuse me, but I really don't think we have anything here that would fit you."  I realized I wasn't imagining an attitude where one didn't exist, and pasted on a fake smile, saying, "Actually, I'm doing my Christmas shopping.  I think I'll look elsewhere, though, thanks."  It worked out fine, because I found something similar to an item I'd had my eye on, for a better price, in another store.

I'd gotten comments like that all through middle and high school, so by that time I had a pretty thick skin.  It makes me angry, though.  Sometimes a person might not be able to regulate their weight for health reasons.  I have an under-active thyroid, and can't lose weight no matter what I try!

If that is the store I'm thinking of, you should complain, though I suppose it's a bit late now. There clothes are so expensive that most teens (their core market) cannot afford them. I think that management would like to know that people were driving away the wallets ;) Seriously, there are several of these stores in my town, and I see lots of people in there that are not the target age or size. They are buying clothes for their daughters/sons or nephews/neices.

TurtleDove

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #57 on: July 09, 2012, 09:31:57 AM »
I have an under-active thyroid, and can't lose weight no matter what I try!

I don't want to get into medical advice, but see an endocrinologist.  I have an underactive thyroid and mine is pretty easily regulated.

CrochetFanatic

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #58 on: July 09, 2012, 11:06:34 AM »
Oh, I do.  :) I take something for it, but that only prevents new weight from being added on.  Losing five pounds is still a struggle.  As long as the other systems that are affected by it aren't out of whack, I'm not worried about the extra pounds too much. 

As for the store, I don't remember what it was called, but it didn't last long.  It closed after a couple years, and between the prices and the girl's attitude, I'm not a bit surprised.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2012, 02:57:59 AM by CrochetFanatic »

JacklynHyde

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Re: Comments About Weight from Passerby
« Reply #59 on: July 09, 2012, 05:22:34 PM »
My mother was once told at a Victoria's Secret, "We only have normal sizes."  At that point, my rail-thin aunt dropped the $200+ worth of merchandise she was about to purchase, grabbed my mother by the elbow, and marched her out of there.