In the end, the best advice for a potluck if you're on the controlling side is: Don't have a potluck.
I could never do a big dinner like thanksgiving as a potluck, because (though normaly very easygoing) I am way too controling when it comes to dinner parties. That said, if I have a party where people do bring in food themselves, I'll only be concerned about what I am supposed to bring.
yeah, i'm like you. when i've had people bring stuff, it was either not good, or they forgot the paper goods, or something. I'd rather work harder and know that i have it under control. they can bring flowers or something.
(we're not doing t-giving but i will have a small family gathering for Hannukah next week. I plan to cook/buy all the food on friday. DS will help with the shopping/cleaning/setting up. I'll set the table the night before, leave work a bit early and it will be fine)