Spinsters' Club Support Thread

[Venus193]

  "I'm going to need more cats."   

I vote for it as our mantra/motto! or I will, as soon as I can stop laughing like a hyena.

I wish I could have more.  If I had a house I would have six.

[blue2000]

I don't want more! I'd have to get a bigger bed!

Right now I have a lump with toes snoozing on the other side of my bed. Did you know that a very very determined twenty pound cat can take up almost as much room as a human? And some cats can snore and hog the covers much better than most humans?? I didn't, until I got these two. I don't want to find out how much room six cats would take up!

[Reader]

Need your guys advice.  The guy I had been messaging on the site I am on that pulled the disappearing trick when we had tentative plans to meet on Sunday sent me a message this morning.

Last time we communicated through the site was on the 17th, we were supposed to meet on Sunday the 20th so I had given him my number so he could call and finalize details.  It's been radio silence since the 17th and he never called.  Then I get this message this morning: "Hi Jxxxx....I'm so sorry that I didn't call this weekend.
My friends held me captive. How are you?"  Which to me seems lame and fishy, especially since I saw him logged in on the site after the 17th with him not contacting me.  And who allows his friends to dictate his actions and did he really spend the entire weekend attached at the hip to his friends? 

So should I give him a second chance or not?  Currently I am sitting in the not side, because my theory is he was contacting another girl and possible meet with her over the weekend only to have it not work out or her blow him off and now he is going back to his second choice which would be me.  Because I am a very firm believer in something that I learned in psychology class back in college that people who want something or to do something will make it happen.

[TurtleDove]

Reader, if you have never met this man before and are interested in him, I would cut him some slack and at least meet him.  At this point he owes you nothing - you aren't exclusive, you aren't even dating!  I agree he should have handled the situation differently, but if you do have interest I would not write him off just yet.  Good luck! 

[Larrabee]

I'm afraid I wouldn't be so forgiving. 

I read his message as 'Something (someone?) better came up so I ditched you, now I'm testing the water to see if you're enough of a doormat that you'll tolerate this kind of treatment.'

I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but I think you'd be wasting your time with this one.

[Winterlight]

  "I'm going to need more cats."   

I vote for it as our mantra/motto! or I will, as soon as I can stop laughing like a hyena.

Dogs are better than people.

[TurtleDove]

I'm afraid I wouldn't be so forgiving. 

I read his message as 'Something (someone?) better came up so I ditched you, now I'm testing the water to see if you're enough of a doormat that you'll tolerate this kind of treatment.'

I'm sorry if that seems harsh, but I think you'd be wasting your time with this one.

I don't entirely disagree, but in this case the guy does not know Reader at all and has nothing to compare in terms of whether "someone better" came along.  If they had already met I would completely agree with you, but in this situation, when they are just testing the waters, I think it was not an excellent move on his part but I would not take it personally and would give him a shot if I was otherwise interested.

[prairie_dances]

Reader, I'm somewhat in between TurtleDove & Winterlight. I'd e-mail him back and see what he says (ie a less vague excuse). However, I'd start focusing on others.

btw,thanks Petticoats. It was a Facebook glitch and he did end up friending me. I agree facebook is confusing these days.

[Petticoats]

How did everyone's holiday go (assuming y'all are American and observed Thanksgiving)?

Mine wasn't too bad, all told. I did get some more bad eHarm matches. And on T-day my mom got out some old photos of me, which just reminded me how much fatter and older I've gotten <sigh>. My primo man-attracting years are definitely behind me. I'm less crazy than I was then, which is good, but the chassis hasn't aged as well.

[Wonderflonium]

Mine was OK. I'm really not ready to go back to work.

Online dating is not going well.

[Sirius]

How did everyone's holiday go (assuming y'all are American and observed Thanksgiving)?

Mine wasn't too bad, all told. I did get some more bad eHarm matches. And on T-day my mom got out some old photos of me, which just reminded me how much fatter and older I've gotten <sigh>. My primo man-attracting years are definitely behind me. I'm less crazy than I was then, which is good, but the chassis hasn't aged as well.

Re the bolded:  I thought I was way past my prime when I met Mr. Sirius - I was 37 and queen-sized.  In other words, by the rest of the world's standards not a prime catch.  But by this time in my life I'd finally realized that it was my life and it was up to me to make or break it, and I wasn't going to break it.

[Petticoats]

How did everyone's holiday go (assuming y'all are American and observed Thanksgiving)?

Mine wasn't too bad, all told. I did get some more bad eHarm matches. And on T-day my mom got out some old photos of me, which just reminded me how much fatter and older I've gotten <sigh>. My primo man-attracting years are definitely behind me. I'm less crazy than I was then, which is good, but the chassis hasn't aged as well.

Re the bolded:  I thought I was way past my prime when I met Mr. Sirius - I was 37 and queen-sized.  In other words, by the rest of the world's standards not a prime catch.  But by this time in my life I'd finally realized that it was my life and it was up to me to make or break it, and I wasn't going to break it.

I definitely think that age and experience can make someone more of a catch, and I know I'm in a better place now than ten or twenty years ago (even if I don't always talk the talk in this thread!). But going strictly by exterior, I feel the change has not been for the better in my case. Granted, I'd rather have my present inner self than my past outer self... but my realistic/cynical side says the outer self counts for a lot in the dating world.

[Wonderflonium]

I know what you mean. I feel the same way.

Also, I'd like to go back in time to kick teenaged me in the rear end for not realizing how cute she was.

[Wonderflonium]

Good thing about being alone: There was no one to judge me when, at 9:40 PM, I gave in to a massive craving and hit the grocery store for sugar snap peas, broccoli, celery, dip, and string cheese.

After a feeding frenzy, I'm happy and sated. Plus, I have lunch for tomorow!

[Reader]

Okay I decided to give the guy on the site a break and emailed him back on Saturday.  So far no communication back.  I also called the Sergeant I met 2 weekends ago giving him the benefit of the doubt that with the holiday he might have been busy.  His reason for not calling was he supposedly lost my number.  So he asked me to friend him on facebook which I did this morning.   So we will see how that goes.  Also I went to a local 80's night last night and met another guy that wanted me to dance with him only for the rest of the night.  I went to get a drink of water after being out for a smoke with him, only to come back to him dancing with another girl.  So I packed it up and went home and put my spinster pjs (the ones with cats all over them) and crawled into to bed with my cats.   I do wonder if the truly do sell cat pjs.  Would be a nice solution to not run out of bed space but add more cats lol.