Author Topic: Spinsters' Club Support Thread  (Read 77206 times)

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Wonderflonium

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #180 on: December 02, 2011, 10:07:40 AM »
I think my profile is different and interesting, but it doesn't seem to help. Maybe I can find a way to reword it so that it doesn't attract men old enough to be my dad.  :P
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LadyJaneinMD

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #181 on: December 02, 2011, 10:40:33 AM »
I saw my therapist yesterday, and she reminded me that even though the world can sometimes make us feel like freaks for being single, a huge proportion of women are single, and "something that common can't be a pathology," I think is how she put it. She's also gently trying to nudge me into being more active in internet dating. I know I need to... and I will... sometime.

Petticoats, please tell your therapist that I think she's WONDERFUL.  That is one of the most useful phrases I've ever heard.  I've been simply telling people that 'women outnumber men 3-2, and that means *some* of us are never going to marry', but I think people have stopped listening to me.  Not that I get many questions about my dating life, ever, or even why I never married.

Like most of you, I decided that remaining single was better than settling for less.

Venus193

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #182 on: December 02, 2011, 10:45:06 AM »

Petticoats, please tell your therapist that I think she's WONDERFUL.  That is one of the most useful phrases I've ever heard.  I've been simply telling people that 'women outnumber men 3-2, and that means *some* of us are never going to marry', but I think people have stopped listening to me.  Not that I get many questions about my dating life, ever, or even why I never married.

Like most of you, I decided that remaining single was better than settling for less.

It certainly is.

Wonderflonium

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #183 on: December 03, 2011, 07:52:31 PM »
Match.com keeps sending me men with radically different political viewpoints than mine. *sigh*
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Yarnspinner

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #184 on: December 03, 2011, 09:40:32 PM »
*sniff* Thank you Wonderflonium and Petticoats....when I'm not so tired and feeling healthy, I can be logical....but when I'm tired (which is often these days) and feeling lousy, the whole world suddenly turns grey and muddy.

I did not get out to that movie night with the other spinster girls, but I did go to a theatrical version of "It's A Wonderful Life" with some other friends.  Loved it.....BUT, in keeping with the title of this thread, one of my friends (another librarian) and I said at the same time "I love this story except for the five minutes that take place HERE"...that would be the part where George finds out that, without him to marry her, Mary Hatch became (fateworsethandeath) a LIBRARIAN!  Have NEVER understood this.

"George, your brother died young, because he died, all the soldiers on the transport carrier were killed, your uncle is in an insane asylum, your mother is a mean, bitter old woman and the whole town has been destroyed by Potter.  But the WORST thing, the most horrible thing in the world that could happen is:  Mary's a single librarian.  Oooooooh.  Shudders!"

Also, I want to know:  how did not getting married affect Mary's vision so adversely?  Married to George, she apparently has 20/20 vision (or else she's very vain).  NOT married to George, she has myopia....and an ugly hat.

Petticoats

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #185 on: December 04, 2011, 12:55:34 PM »
I'm so glad my therapist's words have been helpful! I think she said that 40% of women now are single. I'll have to check the exact figure. But she's great. She also reminds me, when I need reminding, that there are lots of people in bad relationships, and I think about some of the people I know and realize that you can still be both alone and lonely even *within* a relationship, and that must be terrible.

*sniff* Thank you Wonderflonium and Petticoats....when I'm not so tired and feeling healthy, I can be logical....but when I'm tired (which is often these days) and feeling lousy, the whole world suddenly turns grey and muddy.

I did not get out to that movie night with the other spinster girls, but I did go to a theatrical version of "It's A Wonderful Life" with some other friends.  Loved it.....BUT, in keeping with the title of this thread, one of my friends (another librarian) and I said at the same time "I love this story except for the five minutes that take place HERE"...that would be the part where George finds out that, without him to marry her, Mary Hatch became (fateworsethandeath) a LIBRARIAN!  Have NEVER understood this.

"George, your brother died young, because he died, all the soldiers on the transport carrier were killed, your uncle is in an insane asylum, your mother is a mean, bitter old woman and the whole town has been destroyed by Potter.  But the WORST thing, the most horrible thing in the world that could happen is:  Mary's a single librarian.  Oooooooh.  Shudders!"

Also, I want to know:  how did not getting married affect Mary's vision so adversely?  Married to George, she apparently has 20/20 vision (or else she's very vain).  NOT married to George, she has myopia....and an ugly hat.

Yarnspinner, THANK you! That always got me riled up too, not to mention confused. At the start of the movie, Mary's very popular with boys. Why should she do a 180 and become a dried-up little old maid? And yes, the whole stereotype of the spinster librarian makes me gag.

I remember reading an essay about the movie by a woman writer, and she made a similar protest. She also made the out-of-left-field comment that Mary was pretty enough that, if she hadn't married George, she could have become a prostitute. Uh...wha? That's the only alternative?

whiterose

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #186 on: December 04, 2011, 01:04:24 PM »
Hehe, the "being single and a librarian" was lampshaded the other day by a friend fo mine on Facebook.

I am also single AND a librarian. I am happy. One could change. The other one I am NOT willing to give up. For real- I am sensitive about giving up my career. I do not plan on having kids- but that does not make it moot, because there are possessive people out there who cannot stand their mates working and interacting with other people.
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #187 on: December 04, 2011, 05:05:28 PM »
I'm so glad my therapist's words have been helpful! I think she said that 40% of women now are single. I'll have to check the exact figure. But she's great. She also reminds me, when I need reminding, that there are lots of people in bad relationships, and I think about some of the people I know and realize that you can still be both alone and lonely even *within* a relationship, and that must be terrible.

I totally agree!  I'm single, and happy about it 90% of the time.  Yes, there are times I wish I had someone to go out for a nice dinner with or do something else as a couple.  Sure, I can go out alone, an have done so, but sometimes its nice to have a companion that's not one of your female friends.  But  then I think how wonderful it is I'm sitting here now watching football in my loud, comfy, flannel pjs, and figuring out waht to have for dinner that won't necessitate any major cooking on my part!
 

Mopsy428

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #188 on: December 04, 2011, 07:46:44 PM »
Can I join? This year, we've had four engagements in the family. FOUR! And THREE were from the Saturday before Thanksgiving to the Friday after Thanksgiving: ONE WEEK! Three engagements in one week!! I'm very happy for the couples, but I'm tired of having zero luck with men. And I think I'm going crazy because I think people are saying, "Oh, poor Mopsy...so unlucky! That one there is doomed for a lifetime of spinsterhood!"

Wonderflonium

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #189 on: December 04, 2011, 07:52:30 PM »
Welcome to the club!

Four engagements... darn. I mean, that's craziness! I'd have lost my ever-loving mind. Definitely hang out here; we have cookies and vodka (where there is Wonderflonium, there is vodka  ;)).
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TurtleDove

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #190 on: December 04, 2011, 07:55:09 PM »
(where there is Wonderflonium, there is vodka  ;)).

We would get along fabulously!  ;D

Petticoats

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #191 on: December 05, 2011, 12:06:52 AM »
Welcome to the club!

Four engagements... darn. I mean, that's craziness! I'd have lost my ever-loving mind. Definitely hang out here; we have cookies and vodka (where there is Wonderflonium, there is vodka  ;)).

I knew there was a reason I liked you! ;)

Mopsy, welcome to our clubhouse, where it is always acceptable to wear hair curlers, granny panties, and cheese-dip-stained sweats (speaking for myself, at least).

whiterose

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #192 on: December 05, 2011, 08:00:44 AM »
I had a pretty good first date yesterday. I do not know yet whether I like him that way or not- but the date was good enough to merit a second one.

Like all people I have dated, he has pros and cons. No dealbreakers or things pushing it so far, though. Hopefully he will accept my invitation to a second date :)
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Wonderflonium

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #193 on: December 05, 2011, 08:19:36 AM »
That's great, whiterose!
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pinkyblue

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #194 on: December 05, 2011, 10:10:26 AM »
Yay, whiterose!  Good luck. 

A friend and I had a day away this weekend, and we tried to get some photos of me, thinking ahead to having to put photos up on an online site if I ever get my courage up, and they were all dreadful ... another hurdle!  :(