Author Topic: Spinsters' Club Support Thread  (Read 84561 times)

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Larrabee

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #210 on: December 07, 2011, 07:48:37 AM »
You can have good teeth without having perfectly straight teeth.  ;)

Sirius

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #211 on: December 07, 2011, 02:51:30 PM »
When I met Mr. Sirius I was so used to dating life's losers that I was fully prepared to pay my own way and probably part of his.  It was a real surprise that he paid my way.  There's a difference between being frugal and being a tightwad.

Venus is absolutely right about stinginess.  I also learned that the hard way dating men who were so tight they squeaked with their own money but were very generous with my money. 

Petticoats

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #212 on: December 07, 2011, 03:07:38 PM »
I don't think I've ever dated a cheapskate, but I did unintentionally deeply offend a date once by offering to chip in for the pizza. I thought I was just being a good sport and doing the right thing, but I guess he took it as a comment on his ability as a provider or something.

Then there was a guy that a student of mine fixed me up with. (First and last time I let one of my students do that.) She told me that she had given him firm instructions to pay for the first two dates and refuse any offer of mine to pay. So I felt like I could earn a few free karma points with him by offering to pick up the check on the second date. He actually took a while to think about it, and then took me up on it. I felt like an idiot--a rather poor idiot, too, because I didn't earn much as a teacher.

Reader

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #213 on: December 07, 2011, 03:10:54 PM »
Venus is absolutely right about stinginess.   

I POD.  I dated a man who would at a whim drop piles of money into his car/band/hobby he had going, only to be a tightwad on going out unless it was something for him, insisted I had agreed to pay for all the groceries when we were working out he would pay the mortgage on his house where we both would live and I would pay all the house bills while we were at the store and he had just placed multiple items into the cart that only he would eat, complained we ate out too much, and then it fell on me to to not only search for recipes, but make up the grocery list because he did not want to eat the same stuff all the time, and the majority of cooking fell on me.  It's not any wonder after I called him out about his lack of support with these things and others that we broke up shortly afterwards.

whiterose

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #214 on: December 07, 2011, 04:24:45 PM »
A previous guy insisted on paying even if I invited him. He may have been intimidated by my picking up the check once- among other things  :'( I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, since gender roles are likely tighter in his mother's family's native country than in the US of A.

I was hit on by a gold digger once. He had no job, no degree, no career goals, no car, and no license. He wanted me to pick him up for the first date. I honestly think it is a good idea to meet at a public place for the first date. Another guy absolutely insisted on picking me up- maybe because he knew I  lived at home and he wanted to ingratiate himself with my family so that if I rejected him, the family could still root for him. He ended up declaring his feelings for me on the second outing (can't even call it a date- he invited me to hang out with some of his friends).

Sadly, it seems that the guys who like me, I am usually out of their league- and the greater the discrepancy, the more obsessed they are to the point that one was abusive and stalked me  :'( While the guys I have liked have not necessarily been out of my league, they tend to not like me back. I can count at least two- possibly three- that ended up with women from a particular group that tends to be stereotyped as being submissive, while mine is stereotyped as being feisty  :-[

Maybe I just lack something crucial to romance (but not friendships/a stable job/living alone/contributing to society/being successful otherwise), and I should just stick to service  :-\
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Venus193

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #215 on: December 07, 2011, 05:20:34 PM »
I gave up a long time ago.   Most men look at me and feel they can do better (as in younger, thinner, prettier) and maybe Blanche is right in that they want women who are less intelligent.

Too bloody bad.

I refuse to dumb myself down for anyone or anything.  If someone is intimidated by my intelligence he is not worthy of my time or respect.  And there can't be love without respect.

TurtleDove

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #216 on: December 07, 2011, 05:25:40 PM »
I gave up a long time ago.   Most men look at me and feel they can do better (as in younger, thinner, prettier) and maybe Blanche is right in that they want women who are less intelligent.

Too bloody bad.

I refuse to dumb myself down for anyone or anything.  If someone is intimidated by my intelligence he is not worthy of my time or respect.  And there can't be love without respect.

There are plenty of men who want intelligent women!  There are plenty of men who prefer women who make them feel superior.  It is a matter of finding the ones that want what you have to offer, and who have what you seek.  The matching of wants and needs is the trick.

dinvancouver

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #217 on: December 07, 2011, 06:50:46 PM »
snip

O/T: is advice supposed to be advice or advise?

[/quote]

I think one is a noun and one is a verb. So the Advice goddess advises people.
[/quote]

Thanks Blue!  With any luck I'll remember  ;D

I've never run into someone who would let me pay.  Even when I was the one who had asked if he wanted some lunch.  Course, I haven't been on a lot of dates - so that really doesn't say much.


Petticoats

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #218 on: December 14, 2011, 04:28:11 PM »
I thought I'd bump this up so we can check in with each other as desired/needed.

Me, I'm doing pretty well these days with spinsterhood. I've been busy. I also watched Michael Winterbottom's controversial movie 9 Songs, which has pretty much put me off the idea of a scrabble-inclusive relationship, at least until I get the nausea under control. Ick.

Melde

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #219 on: December 14, 2011, 07:02:01 PM »
I am not sure I am old enough to be considered a spinster, but I can see it fast approaching.  UNfortunately, and I don't know if there is anyone else out there like this, guys do not seem to be interested in even spending a couple hours with me. They won't ask me out for even coffee, never mind a date. And I am too shy to ask if I am not getting any indication they are interested. And they never are. :( I don't know anymore.

DuBois

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #220 on: December 15, 2011, 06:02:17 AM »
I thought I'd bump this up so we can check in with each other as desired/needed.

Me, I'm doing pretty well these days with spinsterhood. I've been busy. I also watched Michael Winterbottom's controversial movie 9 Songs, which has pretty much put me off the idea of a scrabble-inclusive relationship, at least until I get the nausea under control. Ick.

That is one gross film. I watched it with an ex, never again. The ex was worse than the film ;)

Wonderflonium

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #221 on: December 15, 2011, 09:27:01 AM »
It just occurred to me that I can't remember when I last checked my online dating profiles. I've been too busy with the holidays.
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Petticoats

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #222 on: December 15, 2011, 11:11:57 AM »
It just occurred to me that I can't remember when I last checked my online dating profiles. I've been too busy with the holidays.

I've been busy myself with holiday plans and my writing, and it really is good to have distractions. I haven't been musing much on my single state with so much else on my plate.

Winterlight

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #223 on: December 15, 2011, 12:48:34 PM »
I'm trying to work up the nerve to try online dating next year. I've got to get out of my rut but the idea of it all keeps making me want to go read for six hours.
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Venus193

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #224 on: December 15, 2011, 06:15:49 PM »
Did the voicemail personals once and swore never to do this sort of thing again.  It was a huge waste of time and money.