Well, he wrote me back.
And now I am not so sure if our senses of humor are compatible- or if he is trying too hard to be witty.
He said nothing offensive or even sarcastic. But similar things that I would not blink an eye at from say, a colleague that I only see in special big meetings, I do not know if they are a good match for me in a significant other.
For example, when I asked him if he was in any clubs at the university we went to, he replied with "I was in one where we wore funny pajamas and threw punches and kicks into the air" instead of saying "I was in karate club (or whichever martial art it was)".
And when I told him I went to library school, he said "do they teach you how to guard library secrets like in the TV series 'The Librarian'?".
Now I am concerned that I may not be cool enough for him. That I may be too "matter of fact" and literal in my humor. While irony does not bother me one bit, derision does- and I am afraid that one day, I may not get his humor, and he may put me down because of it
Is this a valid concern? Am I overreacting? He did not get quite get sarcastic- though I fear he may be, and I really really dislike sarcasm, and do not get along with sarcastic people. Is he simply trying hard to be funny and witty? Or are comments like these the hallmark of a sarcastic person?
That's the arson and murder. Now the jaywalking. I have a very German first name, even though I am of Spanish ancestry (turns out my mom read a book that was originally written in German and gave me the name of the main character). Well, he wondered if my parents lived in Germany before moving to where I was born- I gave him the much tamer real explanation. Had it been Joe Schmoe the random customer who came up with this reason for my name, I would not have blinked an eye- but now I wonder if he will ever have a problem with my hometown and ethnic background, since it has.happened.before. Again, harmless per se- but I wonder if he will be able to deal with how eccentric I am.
Probably making a mountain out of a molehill, but given what has happened to me, I cannot be too careful.