Spinsters' Club Support Thread

[mbbored]

Let's not even start on Valentine's Day.   

Valentine's Day?  What's that? Nope, never heard of it, must not exist therefore can be safely ignored.   

A few years ago, some girlfriends and I started a new tradition. We get our favorite take-out dishes from all the restaurants in the area, bake cupcakes, make up drinking games to chick flicks, then have a slumber party. Sometimes one girl or another will be dating somebody, but V-Day with the girls stands, and she celebrates at another time with her man.

[Yarnspinner]

Just checked back.  Workingmum and Wonderflonium, I am sending chocolate chip cookie dreams your way. 

Years ago I got dumped by a man whose adult daughter was in financial difficulties.  He told me he had to stop seeing me (we'd been going out for not quite three months) for a while so that he could straighten her out.  Never heard from him again...and I hate to say it, it was something of a relief because I always felt there was something I didn't know about.

Yeah, it was something big I didn't know about.  He and a coworker were having an in-office romance and shortly after the "issues with his daughter" they got married.  It didn't bother me exactly, because I had been wondering how to get OUT of the relationship...but I always wondered why, if he was in love with this other woman, he had to use his daughter's issues to break up with me.

In any event, chilled wine is also good if you can't get the cookies. 

I think I may agree with Siamesecat.

[pinkyblue]

....
I think I may agree with Siamesecat.

Me, too (sadly). 

[Spoder]

I will leave you with my stock phrase - and mind you, I'm 45

"Boys are dumb"

Yup.

I would add to that a quote from Wonderflonium '...and no matter how old they are, they're all boys'. 

[Spoder]

Oh, and for my weekly update on the Spinster Situation:

So, there have been a couple of texts between me and the guy I went out with last Saturday night (the one from work). On Thursday, he sent me a lengthy and funny email, saying (amongst other things) that he had a really great time, that I am 'really cool' and that 'we'll have to do it again soon'. He added in some stuff about what he's been up to this week, and ended it with 'talk soon'. So I was thinking it was all looking really positive. 

It is now Saturday afternoon, and...*crickets*. 

If this is his idea of showing interest, colour me underwhelmed. 

[chibichan]

Another Spinster chiming in ! I have been alone for the last 25 years .

Many moons ago , my male bar buddies and I jokingly made ourselves a club , comprising of those of us who were single and had nothing on the horizon .

We called ourselves The Unloved . We would all dress in black on Valentines Day and Christmas Eve ( The Unloved's second biggest holiday ) , meet up at the bar , drink all night and joyfully tell each other WHY we were Unloved :

Slurring : Yer a stinkin' DRUNK , thas why nobody loves ya ! " " Who would want ya with a haircut like that ? "

It was great fun . Known coupled- friends who dared to intervene with rays of hope and sunshine were referred to under our breath as " you Loved sack o' **** ...."  The couples found this rather amusing .

We were well known about town . We were never rude ( except to each other ) or offensive ( see previous parenthesis ) and The Unloved went on for many years .

I am now the only surviving Member .

Sigh . I still dress in black on Valentine's Day and usually go for a solo drink out on Christmas Eve , but it's more of a nostalgia thing . I am happy for my former Unloved friends . They ask about me when I come home to visit and I tell them I'm keepin' the Unloved alive !Somebody has to , right ?

   

[Spoder]

^ That's so funny and cool, chibichan!

Sadly, if I started an Unloved club now, I'd be the only member from the get-go. 

[Yarnspinner]

Here's another spin on spinster-dom, courtesy of being a librarian.  If you've read some of my other tales of woe, you know that our library has gone from being a true community resource to being a daycare/day camp for the homeless and the mentally ill.  The other woman on my team and I are getting exhausted fielding come ons and suggestive compliments from these guys, some young enough to be our sons, some old enough to be our fathers and a LOT of them on enough anti-psychotic meds for a whole psych ward.

Last week she had just fended off one of our regulars (not physically--they never touch us) and sent him on his way and she just fell back in her chair and said "I would give ANYTHING to receive a compliment from someone who DOESN'T believe ewoks and elves are real."

Having just explained to a very, very pleasant gentleman who is on all sorts of medications for all sorts of disorders and delusions (one of those being a world in which he and I are married) that he and I are, in fact, NOT an item, I kind of had to agree.  This guy is getting to be impossible...now he is bringing in his equally delusional friends in the hopes that one of them will say something that will convince me otherwise.  Fortunately, he lives with his mother and I can tell from two times I have met her that she doesn't like me.  Now there's something a woman doesn't write about her would be suitors every day.

[pinkyblue]

Another thing that always comes up this time of year - the office Christmas party and the "Are you bringing anybody?  No?  Are you sure??  Oh ... well, we'll get you a single room, then" (the party this year is at a hotel out of town). 

So, this year, I decided to invite my best friend along for company (which is allowed - she came to one a few years ago), and we'll have a great time, and I won't feel as though my spinsterhood/singleness is being underlined and made obvious all night.

I actually like a lot of things about being single, especially the independence and the freedoms that come with it, but Christmastime really gets to me, and I always seem to need a lot of distraction and treats to keep me from getting all mournful and lonely and sorry for myself.

[Wonderflonium]

I guess in that respect I'm lucky. I luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve Christmas. It's always chock full of family and friends and I usually don't have time to think about not having anyone (romantically).

[Miss Misery]

I don't like going out. Being around people irritates me. Is that weird? 

[Wonderflonium]

I don't like going out. Being around people irritates me. Is that weird? 

Nope. I go through phases. Even when I'm in a love people phase, I still need time on my own occasionally.

Sometimes I think about how getting married would mean I have to share my space, and I wonder why on earth I'd want to do that. 

My aunt has the right idea. She was widowed 12 years ago. For the past several years, she's been dating a very nice man. She told me that she loved being married to my uncle, but she doesn't want to do it again. She likes that she and her boyfriend have their own houses and own spaces. I totally understand that.

[Outdoor Girl]

I've often said that if I ever get married that we'll be buying houses side by side so we can each have our own place.   

I've kind of given up on finding a guy.  I've tried on line, I've tried an actual matchmaking service, I've tried joining a couple of softball teams.  And unless some of the guys and girls on my ball teams have divorced fathers, I haven't gotten anywhere.  My one team, almost all the players could technically be my kids.  Teenage pregnancies for the most part but possible.

So I'm still playing ball and skiing and gardening and doing all the things I want to do and I've stopped worrying about it.  If a guy drops in my lap, I'll give it a go.  But I'd rather be alone than have to deal with carp.

Any other singles north of Toronto?  I'll happily throw a NYE party.  I'd love to do a fondue party and then play some board games or cards or something.

[Spoder]

Any other singles north of Toronto?  I'll happily throw a NYE party.  I'd love to do a fondue party and then play some board games or cards or something.

I wish!

I guess I'm north of Toronto if you draw a line over the top of the globe and then just flip the thing upside down and keep going. Until you reach Western Australia. 

[pinkyblue]

I always thought Katharine Hepburn had a good point when she said "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."