Spinsters' Club Support Thread

[siamesecat2965]

I've often said that if I ever get married that we'll be buying houses side by side so we can each have our own place.   

I've kind of given up on finding a guy.  I've tried on line, I've tried an actual matchmaking service, I've tried joining a couple of softball teams.  And unless some of the guys and girls on my ball teams have divorced fathers, I haven't gotten anywhere.  My one team, almost all the players could technically be my kids.  Teenage pregnancies for the most part but possible.

So I'm still playing ball and skiing and gardening and doing all the things I want to do and I've stopped worrying about it.  If a guy drops in my lap, I'll give it a go.  But I'd rather be alone than have to deal with carp.

Any other singles north of Toronto?  I'll happily throw a NYE party.  I'd love to do a fondue party and then play some board games or cards or something.

I totally agree!  I'm 45 and live alone, and have lived alone aside from living with my parents in my younger days.  Even if I were to meet someone I don't really think I could live with them unless they too had lived on their own, and were independent, AND unless I had somewhere as my own space I could retreat to.  I tend to be sometimes anti-social, and prefer my own company when I'm having a bad day, am tired ,etc.  I have friends who've been married for 20+ years and while I think its awesome for them, I just shudder as there is no way in my early 20's I could have ever settled down and stayed with someone for all thsi time. 

Robert B. Parker, the late author, and his wife apparently had either side by side, or apts right above one another in NYC.  I told my mom that would be the PERFECT situation for me!

[Reader]

Just was stood up for a drink date Friday night.  Hadn't had that happen in years.  It was really strange.  Had called and confirmed a half hour prior to meet that we were meeting, only to have him no show and not answer his phone when I tried to reach him about why he was late.  Ended up getting a text at 4:40 am saying he had fallen asleep.  So I agree with Spoder, "If this is his idea of showing interest, colour me underwhelmed."

[siamesecat2965]

Just was stood up for a drink date Friday night.  Hadn't had that happen in years.  It was really strange.  Had called and confirmed a half hour prior to meet that we were meeting, only to have him no show and not answer his phone when I tried to reach him about why he was late.  Ended up getting a text at 4:40 am saying he had fallen asleep.  So I agree with Spoder, "If this is his idea of showing interest, colour me underwhelmed."

I agree too; if he's that tired he falls asleep then perhaps he needs to reschedule!

[Wonderflonium]

Sorry to hear that, Reader!

I took several days off from online dating. Went back, found that not much has changed. Think I'll take some more days off. (Note to guys: You don't know me. Don't be inappropriate right off the bat!)

[Reader]

(Note to guys: You don't know me. Don't be inappropriate right off the bat!)

Why is they do that you suppose?  I have had that happen too with internet dating sites, if they are thinking it will get a response out of me then are correct because I end up blocking them so they cannot contact me again.

[Wonderflonium]

I really have no idea. Do they think we're going to be charmed? Seriously, if I want that, I'll just go to a bar, not pay however many dollars a month. 

I'm having another one of my "I'm going to be alone forever" days. 

[Redneck Gravy]

I been outta pocket and see that I missed an important segment of talk:

Valentine's Day, it was my wedding anniversary, sigh...

I now laughingly refer to it as the anniversary of my failure. 

 

[Spoder]

Just was stood up for a drink date Friday night.  Hadn't had that happen in years.  It was really strange.  Had called and confirmed a half hour prior to meet that we were meeting, only to have him no show and not answer his phone when I tried to reach him about why he was late.  Ended up getting a text at 4:40 am saying he had fallen asleep.  So I agree with Spoder, "If this is his idea of showing interest, colour me underwhelmed."

Oh wow...that is absolutely pathetic!! Sorry, I know this is one of my pet hates, since I had a friend who did this on my 30th birthday and it upset me no end, but the whole 'I fell asleep on the sofa' thing is the *worst*! Seriously, if you're so unexcited about a date that you fall asleep half an hour before it starts, why the heck did you agree to go?!

(And honestly, I don't even believe this excuse. To me, it points 99.999999% to 'big fat lie'. In which case, at least bother to come up with a plausible lie!).

[siamesecat2965]

Just was stood up for a drink date Friday night.  Hadn't had that happen in years.  It was really strange.  Had called and confirmed a half hour prior to meet that we were meeting, only to have him no show and not answer his phone when I tried to reach him about why he was late.  Ended up getting a text at 4:40 am saying he had fallen asleep.  So I agree with Spoder, "If this is his idea of showing interest, colour me underwhelmed."

Oh wow...that is absolutely pathetic!! Sorry, I know this is one of my pet hates, since I had a friend who did this on my 30th birthday and it upset me no end, but the whole 'I fell asleep on the sofa' thing is the *worst*! Seriously, if you're so unexcited about a date that you fall asleep half an hour before it starts, why the heck did you agree to go?!

(And honestly, I don't even believe this excuse. To me, it points 99.999999% to 'big fat lie'. In which case, at least bother to come up with a plausible lie!).

Exactly!  I'd much rather someone (friend or date) called and told me hey, I'm really really really exhausted, and wouldn't be any fun (true or not) so let's reschedule our date/outing etc.  But to just not show and say "oh, i fell asleep" is pretty lame in my book.

[pinkyblue]

Reader, that's just bizarre!  Sorry to hear about it. 

I was thinking, not for the first time, that maybe I'm still in the spinsters' club after all these years because, in part, I'm more comfortable with it and like a lot about it.  In other words, if it really bothered me being single and I truly felt the need of a partner, I'd have done a lot more, taken more aggressive action, to change my situation - and I haven't.  I pretty much putter along, happy with my work and friends, enjoying the freedom to travel and pursue my interests. 

It's only occasionally, when I hit a lonely spell or come across an event or an experience I'd much rather share with someone, that I feel that "I wish" pang and think about changing the status quo.  But, I notice, I'm still just talking about it, not actually doing anything ... hmmmm.   

[Outdoor Girl]

(((Reader)))

I had a coffee meet and greet date scheduled with a guy.  The day we were to meet, I hadn't had a shower because my hot water heater was broken.  The technician was to be out early that afternoon to fix it and I'd planned to have my shower after work and head out to the date.  The tech was late, lied to me and was completely condescending to me.  I would have had just enough time for a quick, lukewarm shower and then head out to meet the guy.  But really?  I just wasn't feeling it.  So I called him, explained the situation and told him I wouldn't be very good company.  Could we reschedule for another time?  He was completely understanding and we did end up meeting and then out for a second date.  But we just weren't a match.

[Petticoats]

I had an attack of the lonelies yesterday. I took a long weekend and spent it writing (NaNoWriMo); my novel-in-progress is a young adult paranormal romance, and after spending days creating tender, romantic scenes featuring nonexistent guys I'm in love with, I wanted to put my head down and howl. Oh, and then I went out to supper with a very young friend of my mom's, who showed us all the photos from his wedding and waxed eloquent about his bride (who is temporarily away).

I am 42, and the prospect of my getting married looks more distant than ever. I wish I could shake this idea that everyone's looking at me pityingly for not being married or having any prospects. But I feel like a cat lady in training, and the prospect of finding romance seems very, very unlikely.

Mind you, that's on a bad day. I don't always feel like that. But right now... kinda, yeah.

Sisters, can you talk me down from the ledge? Or keep me company on it?

[Reader]

(hugs) Don't worry I'll bring cards so we can play some games while out on the ledge.

[Outdoor Girl]

Shove over and make room for me, too.  I'll bring the backgammon and cribbage boards.

[WhiteTigerCub]

I'll bring the drinks