Spinsters' Club Support Thread

[Wonderflonium]

But grilled cheesus

Love this!  I tend to say "Cheese and Rice!"

Glee introduced me to this phrase... not sure if it's the origin.

I'm pretty sure one of the writers just made it up to describe the Jesus Finn saw in his grilled cheese. I say "Sweet grilled cheesus!" all the time, but sadly, my friends don't watch Glee and don't get it.

My parents would be WONDERFUL grandparents and they are dying for grandchildren. I kinda feel bad because even if I were to get married, I'm not sure I'd have kids. I just remind them that they shouldn't have literally put all of their eggs in one basket.

[Wonderflonium]

That loud noise that you all just heard around the world was me sighing.

There's this guy on eHarmony that they said was a good match for me. I agree; I liked his profile, so I sent him questions. No answer. I nudged him. Nothing. He didn't even view my profile. OK, fine, whatever.

Well, guess who Match.com just tried to set me up with? *headdesk*

I really like his profile and I think we'd click, but I don't want to seem like some freak stalker.

[Petticoats]

Ugh, how frustrating. Do you know that he's been online? Maybe he doesn't check in with eH very often?

[pinkyblue]

Happy weekend, fellow spinsters.     I just wanted to pop in and say that recently I did something I've never had the guts to do before.  I had met a guy a while ago, and we seemed to hit it off, and so in a recent email exchange, I made an overture and basically suggested we go out if that appealed to him.  I know it may not seem like much - heck, it may seem flat-out ridiculous and nothing worth talking about - but in my somewhat limited dating experience, I have never, ever made the first move.  I don't know if it's lingering self-esteem issues or being raised somewhat traditionally, a mix of both, or what.   

I freaked out before sending the email and nearly passed out afterward, but I kept thinking, "you need to do this, you need to learn to take the initiative, you need to quit sitting around waiting for things to come to you, because they really don't."

He did say no, because it turns out he is involved with someone, but he did it in a very nice and considerate way, so, all in all, I'm still happy I did it.  Whew! 

[pinkyblue]

Giraffe, the children angle does really complicate things.     If I were in your position, I think I'd feel exactly the same way.  I'm like Petticoats - I never really had that strong an urge to have children, which I guess is just as well, given how things turned out!

[Wonderflonium]

Good for you pinky!

So, I responded to Petticoats and the site ate it. Basically, yes, I know he checks eHarmony all the time. I have no idea why he didn't look at my profile. I guess I'm just that hideous. 

The thing is, we like a ton of the same stuff and have very similar senses of humor. Part of me wants to contact him on Match, and part of me thinks I should just leave him alone.

I've been cuddling with a kitty instead (against her will, but I don't care).

[pinkyblue]

Thanks, Wonder!   

I don't know what I would do in your situation with the two sites/profiles thing.  I would be tempted to pursue it, because having a similar sense of humor is a huge deal for me, but I would have the same kind of concerns you do about pursuing it in another context when there wasn't a response in the first.  Then again, who knows how guys think? and maybe it's just a timing thing and he will look at your profile later?? 

In the meantime, cats are good.  My two will have plenty of company this Thanksgiving since my experiment didn't result in a date! 

[Petticoats]

Pinkyblue, that's worth celebrating. I'm awfully shy about taking the initiative myself, and I agree that this was a great step to take, regardless of the outcome. Yay you!

Wonder, you are not hideous or anything like it! This doofus clearly has his own issues.

But since you do seem to have interests and a sense of humor in common--and I'm starting to find just how rare this is in the online dating world, even though with the sheer quantity of guys out there one would think the pool of real possibilities would be larger--maybe give it a few days, and drop him a Match email, just briefly saying what you told us: that it looks like you have these things in common.

Or not, of course, as ye list. I know I'd be reluctant to try again after getting no response. But hey, I'm 42 and dateless, so I'm thinking my instincts have not served me particularly well...

Also, as Pinkyblue said, cats are good. I miss my dog a lot; she was a good snuggler. I need to go hang around some of my neighbors with dogs and sneak in some tummy rubs and ear fondling. On the dogs, of course, not the neighbors.

[Wonderflonium]

I'll be spending the night with my parents tomorrow night, which means I get to see the doggie. My baby pup is a super cuddler, so that will help. The cats don't like to cuddle as much as the doggie.

I'm going to take time to think about this dude. Right now, I'm trying to do some work because I was a bit of a slacker today, but I just want to go to sleep and then get up in the morning to do stuff for my friend's baby shower.

[pinkyblue]

Wonder, you are not hideous or anything like it! This doofus clearly has his own issues.

Amen to that (forgot to address that in my post).  I keep thinking, this dating thing would be a lot easier if it weren't for guys being so danged difficult and impossible to figure out! 

And thanks, Petticoats.  I've just about stopped hyperventilating, hours later!

[Petticoats]

I'll be spending the night with my parents tomorrow night, which means I get to see the doggie. My baby pup is a super cuddler, so that will help. The cats don't like to cuddle as much as the doggie.

I'm going to take time to think about this dude. Right now, I'm trying to do some work because I was a bit of a slacker today, but I just want to go to sleep and then get up in the morning to do stuff for my friend's baby shower.

Yay for doggie cuddles! And I think sleeping on the question of nonresponsive guy is a good idea. Sometimes a little rest and distance help. (Forgive me if I sound like I'm trying to hand down wisdom from on high--I'm more commiserating and encouraging, even if the tone isn't coming through.)

Pinkyblue, it was not until I got on the right prescription meds that I stopped completely freaking out about all things date related. So I feel you.  

[Wonderflonium]

Petticoats, you're totally being encouraging! I really appreciate the feedback.

I'm going to go curl up under my nice warm down comforter and try to get some sleep.

[pinkyblue]

(a bit off-topic)  Speaking of pets who console us while we're disappointed and/or thinking out what we want to do, I think I will lose one of my kitty-comforters tomorrow.  She has to go to the groomer.  She HATES going to the groomer.  Worse, her sister never recognizes her when she comes back from the groomer and growls and hisses at her for days.  I live in a small space and will end up running around separating them and calming them down until sister figures out that, hey, that strange-smelling cat is actually NOT an interloper and is OK.   

Well, all that may make trying to write a decent online dating profile look like an easy task.  Always looking for the silver lining .....

[Petticoats]

Hmm. Just got this email from a guy on Match:

"Inquiring minds want to know...

Konichiwa. Ur dazzling smile and volcanic intellect drew my attention. Being an editor sounds like a sexy career. It dazzles science geeks like me. LOL. Check me out"

Beh? Does he think that an editor is like a fetish librarian--tight skirt, hair bun, and glasses that I slinkily remove?

I dunno. Just seems... I hate text speak too. I guess <she says reluctantly> I should look at his profile...

[blue2000]

Hmm. Just got this email from a guy on Match:

"Inquiring minds want to know...

Konichiwa. Ur dazzling smile and volcanic intellect drew my attention. Being an editor sounds like a sexy career. It dazzles science geeks like me. LOL. Check me out"

Beh? Does he think that an editor is like a fetish librarian--tight skirt, hair bun, and glasses that I slinkily remove?

I dunno. Just seems... I hate text speak too. I guess <she says reluctantly> I should look at his profile...

You should look. Doesn't mean you are going to buy!