Spinsters' Club Support Thread

[Petticoats]

I went ahead and had a look. Like every other guy who contacts me or whom I'm matched with, he's a fitness fanatic (I'm out of shape and pudgy) and wants kids someday (see foregoing discussion, besides which, dudes, it says in my profile I'm 42).

He's got a PhD, though, which is pretty awesome. I do like smarts. (But then I get intimidated if I think they're smarter than me. I'm a piece of work.)

All adds up to a big "I don't know." I'm going to mull.

[Giraffe, Esq]

Hmm. Just got this email from a guy on Match:

"Inquiring minds want to know...

Konichiwa. Ur dazzling smile and volcanic intellect drew my attention. Being an editor sounds like a sexy career. It dazzles science geeks like me. LOL. Check me out"

Beh? Does he think that an editor is like a fetish librarian--tight skirt, hair bun, and glasses that I slinkily remove?

I dunno. Just seems... I hate text speak too. I guess <she says reluctantly> I should look at his profile...

I hate textspeak, too, and usually ignore online dating site communiques full of it...but other than LOL, which isn't so bad, he only has *one* egregious textspeak -- "Ur."  (Which, aside from being annoying textspeak, also manages to confuse me because my brain fills in, "the biblical city?")  I wonder if he's *not* comfortable with textspeak and is trying to be cool?  Because the rest of it is articulate!

[prairie_dances]

I went and asked that guy and his response was "I'd definitely be down to meet. I really haven't before so Im not sure the protocol but I could drive down there at some point if that's easiest." That's good right? I tend to over anyalize so I'm reading it as "Eh, I could meet but I don't really care either way".

Petticoats, did you end up emailing the match.com guy?

[Petticoats]

I went and asked that guy and his response was "I'd definitely be down to meet. I really haven't before so Im not sure the protocol but I could drive down there at some point if that's easiest." That's good right? I tend to over anyalize so I'm reading it as "Eh, I could meet but I don't really care either way".

Petticoats, did you end up emailing the match.com guy?

Prarie_dances, that sounds like a really positive reply! I don't get the "don't care either way" vibe at all. Good for you!

Me, I'm still mulling. He seems nice, and quite smart, and it turns out that English may not be his first language, so some of the writing quirks would be explained. But I just don't know that we have much in common. I need to put up a photo that shows more of my figure so fitness freaks will stop getting in touch with me--that is not my lifestyle at all.

Can you tell I'm good at taking the glass-half-empty view?

[prairie_dances]

Prarie_dances, that sounds like a really positive reply! I don't get the "don't care either way" vibe at all. Good for you!

Me, I'm still mulling. He seems nice, and quite smart, and it turns out that English may not be his first language, so some of the writing quirks would be explained. But I just don't know that we have much in common. I need to put up a photo that shows more of my figure so fitness freaks will stop getting in touch with me--that is not my lifestyle at all.

Can you tell I'm good at taking the glass-half-empty view?

Thanks I hope so. He seems like an interesting guy.

Petticoats, makes sense. This is match.com? A few of my friends have said the same thing. They get matched with people the complete opposite of what they're looking for. I'm the same way. Hope you find someone more your match

[Wonderflonium]

I bit the bullet and e-mailed the guy I've been matched with twice. I don't have a lot of faith, but whatever.

Another college classmate just got married. She's not someone I like very much, but her wedding looked beautiful (mutual friends posted pictures). I'm wicked jealous.

[pinkyblue]

Hoping for happy outcomes for all of you who keep being brave enough to try to connect and keep saying "yes" to opportunities that come along ... I need to take a leaf out of your book(s). 

I feel as though I'm going to have to try online dating at some point soon, but it still pretty much scares me to death, so ... I may be in the club for a long, long time! 

[prairie_dances]

Just wanted to ask a question. Does anyone know if on facebook after you friend someone, will they cease to show up on your friend list/searches until they approve your request? Because if not, I think that guy I mentioned blocked me. Which is odd. We set up a date for next week but he wasn't comfortable exchanging phone numbers. He asked if I had facebook. I said yes but that I wasn't comfortable giving out my last name and if we could find a happy medium between the two. He then gave me his name and said what photo he had on facebook so I could match the correct name to the right person. I went on check his profile- he seemed legit so I friended him. I went on not to long ago to check something and out of curiosity typed in his name to see if we were friends yet. He didn't come up at all. My sister decided to check and he comes up in her search. 

[Petticoats]

Wonder, good for you! I hope you get a favorable reply.

I've probably mulled myself out of the window of replying to the guy who sent me that interesting but offbeat email. I kind of wanted to write just to say his email had made me smile, which it did, but I have no idea where to go from there. Looking at my profile, I think my first priority should be reworking it to give a better idea of what I'm like and who I'm looking for. Well, that and losing 50 pounds.

Prairie, I wish I knew what to tell you, but Facebook increasingly confuses me. I also wish they had a "do not want" option for when they recommend mutual acquaintances as friends. FB keeps trying to get me to friend a man who seriously broke my trust years ago. I will not friend him, no matter how many friends we have in common, and I'm sick of having his face in my sidebar. (Although I can't help but wonder: does FB keep recommending me to him too?)

[Reader]

Was messaging a guy off the site I am on all last week.  He asked to meet, when would be a good day which I replied Sunday, and for my phone number.  Told me for two days he was going to call me.  Sunday comes and go no word, and no messages on the site.  So it seems he has lost interest, or found another girl he liked better and has pulled the disappearing act.

Went to see a friend's band on Saturday.  Was sitting with a group of friends, who then went up to dance.  Since I have been sick I was taking it easy and was sitting at the table by myself.  Up comes this cute man who starts hitting on me.  Seems normal, can carry a conversation and is an Army Sergeant who is a recruiter now after been in two tours oversees.  We chatted for about 20 minutes before he left with his friends to go to another bar.  I know he was in to me, leaning in, a light touch on the hand.  So when he asked for my number I gave it to him.  Today is day 2 since then and no call from him.

So now I am 0-2 in less than a week.

[Petticoats]

(((Reader))) That does sound really disheartening. I'm sorry.

[Wonderflonium]

I'm so sorry Reader. Of course, the second guy may be following the 3-Day Rule. (According to Barney from How I Met Your Mother, "We wait 3 days to call a girl because that's what Jesus wants us to do."  )

So, the guy I was matched with twice read my e-mail. He did not look at my profile or reply.

I'm going to need more cats.

[Petticoats]

I'm so sorry Reader. Of course, the second guy may be following the 3-Day Rule. (According to Barney from How I Met Your Mother, "We wait 3 days to call a girl because that's what Jesus wants us to do."  )

So, the guy I was matched with twice read my e-mail. He did not look at my profile or reply.

I'm going to need more cats.

Ah, Wonder, I'm sorry. But I still think it was a good thing to do to email him.

And I think you have created our club motto: "I'm going to need more cats."

[Wonderflonium]

*LOL* Yay me!

[pinkyblue]

   "I'm going to need more cats."   

I vote for it as our mantra/motto! or I will, as soon as I can stop laughing like a hyena.