Author Topic: Spinsters' Club Support Thread  (Read 92571 times)

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Waterlight

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #720 on: June 11, 2013, 09:25:20 PM »
I may not attract married men (yet), but I'm pretty tired of the men that are shoved in my path.

As a 30 year old single woman who goes to church, it feels like everybody there knows somebody who would be "perfect" for me, which translates to "they're single too!"

  If these are my only choices, are they really surprised I'd rather be single?

You just hit on my one very huge pet peeve about being single and people trying to "find" someone for you. Just because i am single and they are doens't mean we have anything in common! 

THIS is why I'm skeptical of anyone's attempts at matchmaking.  In my family, women generally marry very young--at 18 or 19.  One of my cousins got married while she was still IN high school (her fiance was about to be deployed to Iraq, which IIRC is why the wedding was moved to an earlier date).

So by the time I was 20, my family was desperate for me to find someone.  I got set up for an introduction by an uncle.  I wasn't interested, but I hadn't grown a polite spine at the time, so I ended up meeting the guy.  He seemed nice enough, but the only thing we had in common was that we were both single.

My mother still asks if I'm going to try online d@ting again, but for the most part my relatives backed off when they found out I was (because of some medical issues that would be TMI if I went into them here) ...let's say, past childbearing age.   Once I could no longer have children, they didn't see the point in my d@ting or getting married, I guess.
“The best lightning rod for your protection is your own spine.”--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #721 on: June 11, 2013, 10:25:40 PM »
I was giving the captain of my ball team a hard time tonight.  I told him that I joined ball teams in hopes of meeting men and that after 4 years, it wasn't working.  He laughed and said he was trying.  I told him it wasn't all bad - I'm in better shape now than I've been in years.  I'm still way too heavy but I can do more.

Edited to fix typos
« Last Edit: June 12, 2013, 09:48:43 AM by Outdoor Girl »
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

greencat

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #722 on: June 12, 2013, 12:09:15 AM »
I'm waiting to be fully mobile again before I start trying to date - I feel too vulnerable trying to date without my own car and in my current physical condition (in a walking boot/fracture boot/cam walker due to a severe ankle sprain) hopefully, both those issues will clear up by the middle of July.  I wonder what kind of insanity I'm going to find online dating this time?

mbbored

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #723 on: June 20, 2013, 10:11:26 PM »
The other day I was catching up with a friend and asked her if she was dating anybody (frequent topic of conversation for us). She sighed and said she didn't know then asked me the same. I also said I didn't know.

How do two smart women in their 30s with decent social skills not know if they're dating anybody? This seemed ridiculous to us; by this age it should be clear.

She was seeing a guy two or three times a week for a month before she left for a week long work trip. While she was gone, he stopped responding to her messages.

I've been spending more time with a man from my social circle. We've gone out a few times for drinks, just the two of us, and at a party last weekend he never left my side and kept finding excuses to touch my shoulder or arm. This weekend he's taking me to a bluegrass concert, which we both love. Are we dating? I don't know.

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #724 on: June 21, 2013, 08:27:01 AM »
You're "keeping company" according to my 80 year old mother.  :) 

TurtleDove

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #725 on: June 21, 2013, 09:20:22 AM »
If you want to be in a relationship, I think it is important to talk to the person you are seeing about what they are looking for and how they view your time together. For me, I either find we both want to be in a relationship (with each other) and the relationship takes off, or I learn the other person either doesn't want a relationship or not one with me and I can stop wasting my time. If you are happy just hanging out then enjoy it! But if you really want a relationship, push the issue sooner rather than later. Not in a "let's get married tomorrow" way but in a "here is what my goals are - do we fit into each other's goals?"

mbbored

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #726 on: June 22, 2013, 10:57:31 PM »
If you want to be in a relationship, I think it is important to talk to the person you are seeing about what they are looking for and how they view your time together. For me, I either find we both want to be in a relationship (with each other) and the relationship takes off, or I learn the other person either doesn't want a relationship or not one with me and I can stop wasting my time. If you are happy just hanging out then enjoy it! But if you really want a relationship, push the issue sooner rather than later. Not in a "let's get married tomorrow" way but in a "here is what my goals are - do we fit into each other's goals?"

Thanks to your advice I decided to go into today's event just to have fun with him. After the concert we had a nice conversation and decided that we're a couple. It feels a little odd since it's been 5 years since I've considered myself to be in a relationship of any kind. We agreed to take it very slow but for now we enjoy spending time with each other and have most of the same goals.

TurtleDove

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #727 on: June 23, 2013, 08:23:52 AM »
That's awesome, mbbored!

greencat

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #728 on: June 23, 2013, 09:36:41 PM »
I'm currently working on something with a longtime friend - I had some idea that he was interested, and I wasn't completely disinterested in the past, but we both, I think, had a problem with the age difference between us, because he had never tried to make a move before.  Fortunately, the years since we met have made that age difference seem like it's not an issue any more.  I'm not completely sure we're compatible as a couple, but I guess we'll see.

Reader

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #729 on: July 03, 2013, 03:17:22 PM »
Another one bites the dust.  Had a promising couple of dates with a guy last week ( I thought) that I met of the online dating site I'm a member of.  He went out of town for the weekend for a car show, said he would call when he got back.  When he didn't call, I logged back into the site a couple of days later to find his profile deleted.  So I sent a text asking about the show and got no response.  So I went from being "we have so much in common" to no contact.   ???

siamesecat2965

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #730 on: July 04, 2013, 06:01:03 PM »
Another one bites the dust.  Had a promising couple of dates with a guy last week ( I thought) that I met of the online dating site I'm a member of.  He went out of town for the weekend for a car show, said he would call when he got back.  When he didn't call, I logged back into the site a couple of days later to find his profile deleted.  So I sent a text asking about the show and got no response.  So I went from being "we have so much in common" to no contact.   ???

oh that stinks. why can't they just be honest and say hey, this isn't working out or i don't feel a spark, etc. rather than just dropping off the face of the earth?

mbbored

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #731 on: July 04, 2013, 08:53:33 PM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #732 on: July 04, 2013, 09:42:05 PM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.

Methinks you possibly dodged a bullet on this one. He sounds a tad needy

diesel_darlin

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #733 on: July 04, 2013, 11:52:48 PM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.

Methinks you possibly dodged a bullet on this one. He sounds a tad needy



Agreed.

blue2000

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #734 on: July 05, 2013, 07:52:48 AM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.

Methinks you possibly dodged a bullet on this one. He sounds a tad needy



Agreed.

He sounds a little... immature to me. Don't people usually do this sort of thing in high school?
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.