Author Topic: Spinsters' Club Support Thread  (Read 89668 times)

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Winterlight

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #735 on: July 05, 2013, 10:09:53 AM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.

Yikes! I couldn't date someone that fragile- or who thinks he is.
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NyaChan

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #736 on: July 05, 2013, 10:22:14 AM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.

Yikes! I couldn't date someone that fragile- or who thinks he is.

Yikes is right.  That just sounds painful to deal with.  Glad you don't have to anymore!

whiterose

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #737 on: July 05, 2013, 07:05:31 PM »
How needy and clingy.

I can only imagine that he would have become possessive once you became a couple. Not just jealous of other men in your life- possessive about your platonic friends, family, and possibly pets and hobbies.

He needs to get a hobby or two himself. And possibly new friends as well.
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nuit93

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #738 on: July 05, 2013, 07:18:14 PM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.

Sounds like a real winner.  /sarcasm off

greencat

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #739 on: July 05, 2013, 10:15:42 PM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

On Sunday I hurt his feelings when I turned off my phone and didn't respond to texts while I was at church.

On Monday I hurt his feelings when I didn't respond to any of his chat invites while I was at work.
 
On Tuesday I hurt his feelings when I refused to cancel my usual Tuesday night commitment to talk to him on the phone "because he had a bad day."

On Thursday I hurt his feelings when I turned him down for a last minute date because I already had plans with friends.

On Friday I hurt his feelings when he showed up at my work place and I didn't immediately jump into his arms and then I couldn't get coffee with him.

On Saturday I hurt his feelings when I didn't want to hold hands all the way through dinner.

Then on Saturday again I REALLY hurt his feelings when I declined to go on any more dates with him.


mbbored

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #740 on: July 06, 2013, 11:58:18 AM »
So that friend I decided to date? Sooo did not work out. Our first date was Saturday and we agreed to see each other the following Saturday.

Methinks you possibly dodged a bullet on this one. He sounds a tad needy



Agreed.

He sounds a little... immature to me. Don't people usually do this sort of thing in high school?

By the end I felt so middle school! The scary part is this man is in his mid 30s.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #741 on: September 09, 2013, 01:36:22 PM »
Bumping this thread...

This is entirely of my own making.  I developed a little crush on one of the guys I play ball with.  I was never going to do anything about it because I was pretty sure he was quite a bit younger than me - hard to tell because he's bald - and it would make things really awkward if he wasn't interested, you know?  Plus, I didn't know if he would find me at all attractive as I'm a bigger woman.

Turns out, I am potentially his type but about 15 years too old.  Found this out last night when he brought his girlfriend to the game.  I'm guessing it's a new thing since this is the first time I've seen her and I've played with him since May on Sundays and occasionally against him on Thursdays.

But I'm just feeling a little dumb.  I hope nothing that was going through my head came out on my face last night.

So looking for ideas to meet men, here.  I've done the on-line thing with no success; I've done a matchmaking service, which was quite expensive, with no success; I've joined 2 different ball teams and met some great people but no guys; no joy at work as everyone is married/attached; single neighbours all quite a bit younger than I am; asking friends to introduce me to other friends hasn't worked, either.  I don't *need* a man in my life but I'm really tired of buying batteries.   :P
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Venus193

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #742 on: September 09, 2013, 01:56:38 PM »
Have you tried Meetup.com?  It's for meeting people who are interested in the same things and it's not a dating site so there is no pressure.

I'm out of the dating game, but if I were still in this is a good way to find kindred spirits.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #743 on: September 09, 2013, 02:03:24 PM »
The meetup groups here are few and far between, from what I understand from another single friend.  But maybe I'll try it again - someone to go skiing with would be good.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #744 on: September 09, 2013, 02:15:57 PM »
My last meet up was a cluster of bad miscommunications.  I thought we were meeting at 6, he thought I would get there between 6/7 and then text him, and then wait for him to walk up. I mis read his e-mail that said he would shoot for 6, and read it that he would be there at 6. So I replied I would see him there.  He took my response from earlier in the conversation when he asked what time would be good to meet up (6/7 my reply). 

That would have been fine, but after waiting for 30 minutes, only to be told after I left that he was so frustrated that I left he sent me an e-mail.  We had been communicating via text for 20 mins at this point.  When I got a chance to read the e-mail (no smartphone for me), it was all diatribe on how the mistake was my fault, and how because I didn't wait more than 30 mins for him to show up (he walked up to the bar I drove 20 mins to get there), (20 since I first texted him after waiting 10 mins already) I was in the wrong, and he also accused me of standing him up and not wanting to meet after all.  So now I'm glad I didn't get to meet him.

siamesecat2965

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #745 on: September 09, 2013, 02:21:35 PM »
My last meet up was a cluster of bad miscommunications.  I thought we were meeting at 6, he thought I would get there between 6/7 and then text him, and then wait for him to walk up. I mis read his e-mail that said he would shoot for 6, and read it that he would be there at 6. So I replied I would see him there.  He took my response from earlier in the conversation when he asked what time would be good to meet up (6/7 my reply). 

That would have been fine, but after waiting for 30 minutes, only to be told after I left that he was so frustrated that I left he sent me an e-mail.  We had been communicating via text for 20 mins at this point.  When I got a chance to read the e-mail (no smartphone for me), it was all diatribe on how the mistake was my fault, and how because I didn't wait more than 30 mins for him to show up (he walked up to the bar I drove 20 mins to get there), (20 since I first texted him after waiting 10 mins already) I was in the wrong, and he also accused me of standing him up and not wanting to meet after all.  So now I'm glad I didn't get to meet him.

I think you dodged a bullet on that one. While I'm sure it was frustrating on both sides; his reaction was a bit over the top. Miscommunications happen; and if he were really serious about wanting to get together, he wouldn't have freaked out, and simply said, ok, let's try this again.

Reader

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #746 on: September 09, 2013, 03:13:46 PM »
My thoughts exactly.  Especially since he sent another e-mail, probably becasue I didn't reply to his last one.  Here it is: "Sucked to realize I wasn't worth 5 more minutes of your time when it was clear I wasn't standing you up, since I stated I was on my way.   Also tried to call you right away to explain but you didn't answer the call.


So anyway, it's probably best we found out this way that we are not compatible.  I've lost interest.  Wish you the best."

Wow huh?  And if he called that's news to me, I never had a call, and my phone registers no incoming calls in a week (all my friends text).

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #747 on: September 09, 2013, 05:28:13 PM »
Yikes, Reader. He does sound like a bullet dodged. And Outdoor Girl, I'm so sorry that happened. (((hugs)))

I've had some nasty spells of romantic loneliness lately and have been trying to think of ways to meet dateable men. I'll be changing jobs soon, so I guess I could look for one where I encounter a wider array of people... but that in itself puts me out of my comfort zone. I guess I need to leave the comfort zone behind, but... eek. I guess I could try online dating some more. I just don't feel very confident right now, not in the best frame of mind to compose a profile that's attractive and interesting.

Reader

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #748 on: October 02, 2013, 01:39:47 PM »
(((hugs for all)))

Crawling out onto the ledge again.  Got up the courage to ask a friend out that I had a crush on for over a month.  We went out last Sunday. I thought it went well.  When I went to inquire about a 2nd date, he let me know he doesn't have the same feelings for me.  :'(

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Spinsters' Club Support Thread
« Reply #749 on: October 02, 2013, 01:54:41 PM »
Well, crap!  I'll join you tonight when I get home and come bearing a pitcher of mojitos.  To hell with the glasses; we'll just pass the pitcher back and forth.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
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