Author Topic: I never, ever thought I'd have to say this.(warning solitary scrabble mentioned)  (Read 5169 times)

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peach2play

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I put this in dating and relationships because it involves my ex b/f, but mods please move it if necessary.
BG: I love my Ex's dog, he's really sweet.  I will be watching him while Ex goes to the oil fields.  He has some behavior issues though and it was a cause of arguments between Ex and I because he would say I had too many rules for his dog (ie, no jumping up for food, no begging, no snapping at people's faces including mine).  Ex used to say, I was trying to limit his dog's life which translated to me limiting his life.  It's one of the reasons he's an Ex. 
Ex had a bad scare when the dog snapped at the face of someone who leaned over to give him a hug (to be fair, Ex didn't know this person really well and the guy was being a jerk).  That person told Ex he could have his dog put down.  He then asked for my help with the dog.  I've worked with the dog and he's doing really well.  He now waits to take a treat out of my and and he doesn't lunge at faces anymore.  I make him sit in the living room when we eat and he stays and when he's done I give him steak.  BG
I invited my Ex, his best friend Mark and Mark's g/f Haley, and my best friend Rob over to my house last night to watch the last race of Motogp.  Ex brought over his dog.  Ex was sitting on the floor and the dog decided to play solitary scrabble right in the middle of the living room floor.  I said, "Ex, please stop your dog from playing solitary scrabble on the carpet." The other guests were politely ignoring the fact that the dog was going at it on the floor.  Ex replied, "It's awesome, he's comfortable enough here to do that."   I said again, "Please stop your dog."  He replied, "It's funny and he likes it so I'm not stopping him."  I said, "This isn't ok in front of other people."  The dog felt the tension in the room and stopped but my Ex was angry with me for even suggesting that the dog stop. 

Could I have done more?  Should I have gotten up and stopped the dog myself? Should I apologize to my other guests?   Mark, Ex's BFF, told me later he didn't really find it funny, but you know how Ex is. 

I need some polite words to tell Ex that this isn't acceptable.  It might be for him, at his home, but not in mine (and now I sound like my mother). *sigh*





ilrag

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Are you saying the dog was licking his genitals or he was humping something?

Because they're very different behaviors for a dog - and not really related to scrabble. (From a behavior standpoint)

Reason

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You have the right to insist on any activity not occurring in your home that makes you uncomfortable, even if it does not involve industrial strength cleaning agents.

Your Ex was completely out of line.

Ruelz

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The dog does not need to play with himself in front of company.  Deflect dog from said behaviour...
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peach2play

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He was definitely licking then scooting and licking some more (it squeaks me out to even say it on this forum and I apologize if I offend someone).  Ex says the dog does this to make himself feel good.  I don't know what the behavior is but still really disturbing.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2011, 04:13:44 PM by peach2play »

hobish

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Why didn't you just stop him? It's your house, and you have worked with the dog. If it happens again i would bypass ex and go straight to the dog.

It's alright, man. I'm only bleeding, man. Stay hungry, stay free, and do the best you can.
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Ruelz

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Scooting is usually a sign of impacted anal glands.

They might need to be squeezed.  Have a vet check them out and see if that's what the issue is.  If it's a recurring issue, the vet can show you how to look after them (it can be a smelly business, not to mention, some dogs don't mind, and others hate having it done).

If impacted anal glands aren't looked after, you can have some more serious issues (such as rupture).

But that's a different issue altogether...
"The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions." Ellen Glasgow

Surianne

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I don't know...I'm still having trouble figuring out what the problem was, but was the dog damaging/hurting anything or threatening anyone, or just masturbating?  This might be one of those instances where you'd want to consider picking your battles.  It sounds like the other behaviour you want to get rid of (jumping up, begging for food) are more annoying to you and your guests, so have you considered focusing on those primarily?  It might help your Ex to feel he has some control and you're not just picking on everything his dog does.

If it wasn't clearly masturbating it's also possible he's constipated -- my parents' dog does that when he's having trouble with going to the bathroom.  If it keeps up, you may want to get him checked out.  (Edit: Ruelz beat me to it!)

(I previewed my post and since "masturbating" isn't replaced by the filter I'm assuming it's okay to use here.  I have a lot of trouble following euphemisms, myself, but if my using the correct word is a problem, mods please let me know.  Thanks!)

ilrag

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Yeah the scooting could be a number of health issues (anal glands, worms, ect) which are uncomfortable for the dogs but easy to cure. Don't ignore if that if the dog is just uncomfortable.

It sounds to me like your ex doesn't know much about dogs.

peach2play

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I forgot to add the part where, when the dog was done, he came to lay down next to me and my Ex encouraged him to lick my face *sigh*. 
I am really trying to pick my battles with Ex and I only started helping with dog when Ex asked for my help because he was worried the dog would be put down.  I didn't want it to turn into a battle of wills which is why I didn't make it a bigger issue I think.  Next time I'll just ask Ex to leave I think.  It's not something I want done in my home while guests are there.

oz diva

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Personally I'd be far more worried about the biting than the 'scrabble'. That's not a dog I'd want around.

Victoria

Yvaine

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Scooting is usually a sign of impacted anal glands.

They might need to be squeezed.  Have a vet check them out and see if that's what the issue is.  If it's a recurring issue, the vet can show you how to look after them (it can be a smelly business, not to mention, some dogs don't mind, and others hate having it done).

If impacted anal glands aren't looked after, you can have some more serious issues (such as rupture).

But that's a different issue altogether...

Pod the recommendation to have the dog seen by a vet.

mooseketeer

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If the dog is doing something in your house that you don't want to see, and if you've asked the owner and he won't stop it, I think it'd be ok to go directly up to the dog and put a stop to that behavior. Since he was scooting, that could definitely be a health problem and he should be checked out.

I think, though, that dog masturbation is a red herring. The problem is your ex doesn't respect you and maybe you need to have a discussion that you aren't willing to help out if he won't show you more respect.

ETA- I thought the dog was humping, not scooting. I need to read the updates more carefully.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2011, 04:59:31 PM by mooseketeer »

Bibliophile

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Just wondering, but was there really a need to post a warning about a dog humping?  I mean, it's a dog.  I understand a bit of warning for scrabble topics that are a bit more informative, but it's a dog...   ;D  It just makes me giggle every time I see the thread topic.

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Surianne

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Just wondering, but was there really a need to post a warning about a dog humping?  I mean, it's a dog.  I understand a bit of warning for scrabble topics that are a bit more informative, but it's a dog...   ;D  It just makes me giggle every time I see the thread topic.

Yeah, I also think this is a case where what the dog is actually doing changes the advice (I'm *still* not sure if it's scooting or masturbating or licking or...what) so I think just spelling it out might make the most sense here.