how do we tell him?

[ShadesOfGrey]

Why not express your concerns to the Choir Director and let her handle this?  She is probably the one who should both make the decision and inform him that he's been asked to leave the choir.

Is there anyone in the group who would be willing to offer to coach him? 

Much agreed - it's the choir director's place to deal with this.  S/he needs to firmly, but politely tell him that solos aren't common and are given at the disrection of the Director.  This member needs to be dealt with just like any member in a choir.  After a rehearsal (as in, almost in private), the choir director should go to him and say "I noticed that you were a little off key in the last few songs.  You should review/practice the notes at home. If you are still having trouble, we can arrange for someone to practice with you" and then provide the support necessary to make him a fully functioning member of the choir/ensemble (not soloist!).  Telling someone that isnt offensive, as it is the choir directors job to make sure that the choir sounds pleasing. 

Just as an aside - In my opinion "for the glory of god" means that people should be blessed by the performance and it should reflect god's goodness/turn their attention towards him (not the performance).  If this particular choir had decided to avoid solos in order to avoid attention on a single person, so be it.  But choir also need to sound pleasing in order to accomplish this...

[graceh9]

the choir director is supposed to take some responsibility for managing the choir.  these hard conversations is what he is paid to have.  he should step up and let this guy know that this particular group is not 'open' to volunteers and ask him to step aside.  he is already in two other groups -- so it is not as if he is not able to participate. 

it is also the choir director's job to appoint soloists which ALWAYS creates rancor in church choirs or other amateur  groups  -- either the director lets him occasionally solo in the main choir -- or lets him know that he isn't up to it -- or (which I think is quite stupid) stops offering work that involves solos.

allowing him to 'weasle in' to an invited group is wussy on the part of the director

[Betsy]

Coming from a person who was likewise in a similar group (8 people hand picked from the general "Accepts everyone" church choir) I have to say that it is the directors job to take the guy aside and set him straight. With time, many people improve, however many people also have a natural affinity towards rhythm and tone.

Perhaps the director can have "auditions" for the invited group even if everyone knows who's going to be chosen. Hold the auditions once a year and maybe after some time the guy will improve and the director will feel comfortable including him. Until that time the director needs to make it clear that he is not included in this group and is making it hard for you to practice.

Our director did this, since it was a school related choir he would hold the auditions the week b/4 classes started, usually it was b/c one of the past singers had graduated the previous May and needed to be replaced, but everyone had to audition and everyone auditioning knew that the previous "chosen" weren't actually up for replacement, it was just a show for some of the people in our choirs that were like the guy in question.

[kat_grl]

Why not express your concerns to the Choir Director and let her handle this?  She is probably the one who should both make the decision and inform him that he's been asked to leave the choir.

Is there anyone in the group who would be willing to offer to coach him? 

I'm close friends with the choir director and she has been confiding in me about this problem, which is why i brought it here. I actually went to see her last night and told her all about everyone's recommendations and she agreed with all of you. She doesn't like confrontation (who doesn't!) and has been putting off telling him.
I think she's going to explain that solos are few and far between in both the choir and the group and that if he's in it only to get the solo, then he's chosen the wrong place to sing.

[mbbored]

I think you and your choir director have made an excellent decision, kat_grl.  If this guy is seeking out solos with 3 different choir groups, then clearly he's not in it for the glory of God, unlike the rest of the group.  I would love to hear your music some time:  I come from a very tiny church with an even tinier choir, where we're grateful that anybody at all wants to sing, hence my initial comment.  I have to constantly remind myself that it's not about me, when the sweet little old lady next to me doesn't get anywhere near the high note.

[stanthedevil]

I have to constantly remind myself that it's not about me, when the sweet little old lady next to me doesn't get anywhere near the high note.

*wince*  I know what you're saying, but some days it is harder than others.

[kat_grl]

I would love to hear your music some time:  I come from a very tiny church with an even tinier choir, where we're grateful that anybody at all wants to sing, hence my initial comment. 

i too grew up in a small church and our sad excuse for a choir was about 12 people all over the age of 80. The church I'm in now has a 40 piece choir and this is our directors first year. She's fantastic. She's moving us away from some of the more "traditional" choir pieces and getting us into some gospel stuff. Because, like she said, the majority of our congregation is black so why would we want to stick to just traditional "white" choir music.

[kingsrings]

It's better to be honest and upfront with him instead of stringing him along, which is probably very frustrating for the guy as he has no idea why he is being turned down for a solo. You would be doing him a favor by telling him why, so that he can possibly remedy the situation by taking voice lessons and other training that could help his singing. Obviously, he likes to sing and probably has no idea that he needs help in that department. Break it to him politely and gently, of course. If he reacts badly, then so be it, he has no right to do so. Sure it's a ministry activity, but everyone still wants it to be the best and singing has to be correct.

[kingsrings]

And one more thing, if it is for the glory of God, then it shouldn't matter how it sounds.  My choir director says that singing is praying twice: both using the words, and offering up the talent of the voice God gave you.  Since God gave him that voice, he won't care if it's flat or right on key.

I have to respectfully disagree with you on your last point, at least partially.  Yes, it is for the glory of God, but at the same time a group that performs for others or leads worship has a responsibility to sing at a certain level.  I've learned over the years that it can really disrupt other people's prayer if the group responsible for leading worship isn't together vocally.  It can be especially difficult for new people in the congregation to participate in the songs if they aren't sung well.  It is a fine line to walk and must be tread carefully. 

Perhaps there is another ministry that he feels called to or another group he can be a part of where his voice won't adversely effect the sound of the group?

Agree with you. I am involved in performance ministries as well, and if we're not doing a good job, then our ministry is lost on the people who see us perform. It has to have an impact, so we have to be good at what we do. If someone isn't a very good actor despite all the direction and guidance they've been given, then they're not going to get many performance opportunities. Regardless of what the purpose is for any group, they still have to be at their best. Even the Bible says that.

[IndianInlaw]

Send him to our church!   They have a poster advertising for male choir members.  It reads (and I quote) "You don't have to be Tom Jones"...at the bottom they added "desperate".

And remember, if only those birds sang, who sang best, what a quiet place the forest would be.

[kingsrings]

It's interesting to read about the differences in church choirs on this thread. I belong to a large church, and you do have to be able to sing to be a member of the choir, and be a really good singer to perform with the worship team. You have to privately audition with the director for both.