Friend not acting like much of a friend lately...

[Alida]

I have actually been on the other side of this kind of situation where I wrote about a friend in my blog, rather than talking to her. It wasn't a PA way to get a message to her (she had long since stopped checking my blogs), it was a way for me to work through my own troubles and feelings regarding our failing relationship.


I think it really depends on whether or not you are or still are friended by the person.  A few years ago, I had a situation (gee, a fandom friendship) that went very bad very quickly.  I never ever used names in my LJ - I was very cautious about that.  But, at the same time, I did try to figure out there what was going on, discussing it with others who I was (and still am) close to. 

Unfortunately, the person I had the falling out with seemed to think nothing of reading my LJ to find fuel for her fire.  Still does now and then, from what I understand.  However, I told her back then - I hide nothing.  If you want to come and be insulted for things that may or may not involve you, have fun.  Leave me out of it.  She was getting insulted at things that were not even about her, but not even fandom related!  Some people, apparently, forget that there is life beyond fannish pursuits

[fklwmn]

I think it really depends on whether or not you are or still are friended by the person. 

True. Unfortunately for me, this was not with a fandom (or other online) friend, but with my best friend of 14 years. I guess the final straw for me came when I called her to tell her I had found the *perfect* gift for her to give her boyfriend for Xmas (I even bought it for her then and there since it was @ the fair) and at the end of our conversation she casually mentioned having gotten engaged recently. I was so hurt and angry that she could not even bother to call me, her supposed 'best' friend, to share the good news that I just completely stopped talking to her. It had been a long time coming, but for me that was the last straw. At that point it was no longer about salvaging the relationship, it was about working through my hurt to get to a point I could move on.

[Sorceress]

Well, unfortunately she got the gift yesterday so apparently she had to have it in her hot little hands before she'd come out of hiding.

Friend does use her LJ to vent and I don't really concern myself with the fact that she hates my writing.  She doesn't have to like it.  Her timing, however, was horrible.  I've known her for a few years and I'm pretty sure that since she ignored my emails, "I'm not feeling much like talking to anyone anymore" is code for "this is why I'm not responding to emails."  My beef is that I don't believe that's a valid excuse for not responding to an email that regards something fairly important.

[Alida]

It's no excuse at all.  She's being extremely rude to you all the way around.

[Hawkwatcher]

Well, unfortunately she got the gift yesterday so apparently she had to have it in her hot little hands before she'd come out of hiding.

Friend does use her LJ to vent and I don't really concern myself with the fact that she hates my writing.  She doesn't have to like it.  Her timing, however, was horrible.  I've known her for a few years and I'm pretty sure that since she ignored my emails, "I'm not feeling much like talking to anyone anymore" is code for "this is why I'm not responding to emails."  My beef is that I don't believe that's a valid excuse for not responding to an email that regards something fairly important.

If she does not want to talk to people or respond to their emails at this time, she should understand when others "do not feel like talking to anyone" and do not respond to her emails. 

[Sorceress]

If she does not want to talk to people or respond to their emails at this time, she should understand when others "do not feel like talking to anyone" and do not respond to her emails. 

Agreed.

[sammycat]

I'm not sure that I agree with this statement. In fact, I don't agree with it at all. I'm sure in some cases it could be true, but I think it's assumptive.

I have actually been on the other side of this kind of situation where I wrote about a friend in my blog, rather than talking to her. It wasn't a PA way to get a message to her (she had long since stopped checking my blogs), it was a way for me to work through my own troubles and feelings regarding our failing relationship.

Thank you for a different perspective on that situation.  My statement is based on my experiences with this particular woman (oh the stories I could write about her!).  Basically she was a coward in that if she had a real beef with you she wouldn't confront you directly she would use the cold shoulder routine or carry on about you behind your back.  In her litttle world she is always right and everyone else is wrong - and she feels it is her duty to tell everyone else about it but will try and avoid like the plague being in a direct confrontation.  Edited to add: - if the confrontation is going to be about the other person pointing out former friend's fault she will avoid it; in other words she could dish it out but not take it.

I too am someone who likes to write things down to gain a clearer perspective on a situation.  Words can be erased and modified a whole lot easier than they can verbally, and I'm sure that's prevented me from sticking my foot in it at times LOL.

[fklwmn]

In her litttle world she is always right and everyone else is wrong

In my own little world I am always right and everyone else is wrong too

Fortunately I realize that no matter how much I'd like to, I don't live in my little world, I live in the real world. It's a great place to retreat to sometimes though

[goblue2539]

I don't live in my little world, I live in the real world.

I adore my own little world.  They all know me here.

[wetblanket]

This woman doesn't sound like a friend.  I've had "friends" like her, but I dropped them all.  No regrets.

If you can stop shipment of the gift, do so.  If not, consider it a "leaving" present, since you won't be around for this woman anymore.

[sammycat]

I don't live in my little world, I live in the real world.

I adore my own little world.  They all know me here.

LOL   

[goblue2539]

I wish I could take credit for being smart enough to make that up, but I read it somewhere.  I think it might have been a mail-order T-shirt thingy.  It just fit so well.... I couldn't resist.