Author Topic: Things you never wanted to know...  (Read 3019 times)

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White Dragon

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Things you never wanted to know...
« on: November 14, 2011, 07:42:40 PM »
I just came home to a kitchen full of teenaged boys. I think there was a half dozen or so - it was hard to tell because they kept moving.

They are...cooking...sort of.

I say sort of because they are cooking bacon. Lots of bacon.
They have:

- bacon weave
- candied bacon
- deep fried bacon  ::)
- shake and bake bacon  :P

and, as near as I can tell, bacon inside chocolate chip cookies.  :-X

And they are filming their bacon.

Part of me wants to ask "Why?" and part of me really, really doesn't want to know.
I just know that a) it's their bacon b) they will be cleaning up afterwards and c) they are having fun.
Really, there are a lot worse things they could be doing aside from culinary experiments, right?

Yeah. I just don't want to know...

Reika

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2011, 09:59:31 PM »
Now I want bacon.

But what exactly is bacon weave?

Valentines Mommy

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2011, 10:54:11 PM »
I have cousins who wrapped a frozen hamburger in bacon strips and then deep fried it. Now, I love bacon but even I thought it was overkill.

kitty-cat

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2011, 12:11:14 AM »
Now I want bacon.

But what exactly is bacon weave?

According to Google, raw bacon is woven together and then cooked.




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baglady

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2011, 12:29:14 AM »
Bacon is the new ... insert last year's or last decade's food fad here.

Seriously, bacon is *everywhere*. Chocolate-covered bacon (or is it bacon covered chocolate?). Bacon breath mints. Bacon bacon bacon. My current earworm is that dog treat commercial with the dog yelling, "It's baaacoooonnnn!"

An acquaintance told me recently that he knows people who keep kosher but make an exception for bacon. I'm not sure whether to believe that story.
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Brentwood

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2011, 12:45:33 AM »
I would definitely want to know what they were cooking and why, and why they were filming it. And I'd want a sample of everything they cooked!

What I didn't want to know? The calorie count in the ONE pina colada I'd had in ages (this was some time back; I was enjoying a very rare pina colada at a bar when a strange woman sat next to me and said, "Did you know there's over 600 calories in that drink?" Gee, lady. Thanks for ruining my treat for me.  ::) )

Morticia

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2011, 11:31:43 AM »
According to the website I found, a pina colada only has 245 calories. Ignore the evil miscreant, and have another one. :)
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White Dragon

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2011, 12:16:30 PM »
Turns out that it wasn't bacon inside chocolate chip cookies, it was bacon wrapped *around* chocolate chip cookies.
Somehow, that sounds even worse.  :P

They also had some chocolate cake-roll twinkie-like things that they dripped melted chocolate on.
Now that, I could go for!

Apparently, three of them had to make a video for school and the other two were helping. The plan was to recreate a video they found on YouTube.

They did the math and they had 26,700 + calories there!  :P (My son knows the exact number, the darling little nerd that he is.)
Oh, and when they cleaned up? They ran the dishwasher, washed all the pots and pans and wiped the counter down at least 3 times (and dried it!) to make sure they'd gotten all the grease off.
My kitchen was immaculate!

And they left some bacon behind too.  ;D ;D ;D

Morticia

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2011, 12:22:26 PM »
Turns out that it wasn't bacon inside chocolate chip cookies, it was bacon wrapped *around* chocolate chip cookies.
Somehow, that sounds even worse.  :P

They also had some chocolate cake-roll twinkie-like things that they dripped melted chocolate on.
Now that, I could go for!

Apparently, three of them had to make a video for school and the other two were helping. The plan was to recreate a video they found on YouTube.

They did the math and they had 26,700 + calories there!  :P (My son knows the exact number, the darling little nerd that he is.)
Oh, and when they cleaned up? They ran the dishwasher, washed all the pots and pans and wiped the counter down at least 3 times (and dried it!) to make sure they'd gotten all the grease off.
My kitchen was immaculate!

And they left some bacon behind too.  ;D ;D ;D

FTW!
Now our mom says she's changed her mind about the devil's brood, they may be evil so she thinks, but at least they're never rude...
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My travel blog: http://www.stepmonster.ca

whiterose

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2011, 12:27:32 PM »
I am actually torn on wanting or not wanting to know whether a pie/quiche crust has lard in it.

Body's response to it will not be optimal- but it is not lethal. It is more on moral principles.

I can make sure the one I use does not have it. If I am at someone's house, I can check ingredients. At a restaurant? Not so easy.
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2011, 03:37:11 PM »
I actually don't eat pig for ethical reasons, but I make an exception for bacon because it's so darn tasty!  (Bacon trumps my ethics, I guess.)

Your post reminded me of this XKCD comic:



(Also, bacon chocolate is really good!  I love the sweet and salty combination.  Bacon chapstick, on the other hand, is NASTY and smells slightly rancid.  Also, your toddler will get into it, smearing it all over the wallpaper in your bathroom, then your dog will eat the rest of the stick.  Your bathroom and your dog will smell like rancid bacon for weeks.)

ydpubs

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2011, 03:49:57 PM »
My DH works for a gourmet food distributor, but mostly chocolate and there are at least 3 or 4 different bacon chocolate bars.... LMAO!!!

And no, I have not tried any of them despite my deep and abiding love of chocolate and bacon.
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EmmaJ.

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2011, 04:19:02 PM »
Bacon cinnamon rolls.   ;D  I don't remember where I read about them (maybe here??) but you take a tube of cinnamon rolls, open the tube and carefully unroll each raw cinnamon roll.  Lay a strip of almost-cooked-through bacon strip on the dough, reroll and bake.

I've been wanting to try it - but am still trying to lose these last 20 pounds.  Maybe for Christmas breakfast....

Xallanthia

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2011, 04:46:49 PM »
An acquaintance told me recently that he knows people who keep kosher but make an exception for bacon. I'm not sure whether to believe that story.

My sister was otherwise vegetarian for 2 years before she nerved herself to give up bacon too.  Although even then she didn't eat it often, just an occasional treat.

VorFemme

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Re: Things you never wanted to know...
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2011, 05:04:00 PM »
On the subject of how some species reproduce - bedbugs.  Nope.  Did not think that even female bedbugs deserved THAT.  Traumatic insemination - don't search it if you're squeamish.   

The spotted hyeanas sound ALMOST as bad when it comes to giving birth..........

I read one sci fi story about an alien race that the BIGGEST, baddest, oldest alien in the body of water was female and could/would just as soon eat the males as reproduce.  If she died/was killed - the biggest male would grow fast and change gender (or whichever alien got the size and gender switch down would be the new lead predator in the area.  Turns out the writer looks up odd-ball Earth creatures, then enlarges their relative size to humans to come up with some of his scariest aliens.............

Reproduction on Earth can be a very scary business - if you're the wrong species.  Male Preying Mantises, female bedbugs, etc..............
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