Author Topic: Charity Guilt Trip  (Read 26379 times)

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ShanghaiJill

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #30 on: March 27, 2012, 10:54:34 PM »
Like the song says, "just walk on by."

You will soon be forgotten as they hone in on their next victim.

Pippen

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #31 on: May 08, 2012, 06:59:18 PM »
I no longer have any sympathy for chuggers (charity muggers) When I lived in the UK you could not walk down the street 5m without being approached by them. It was so tiring and intrusive. A polite smile and 'no thank you' is all he is required in most circumstances. The really pushy ones you just keep repeating it to and continue walking. Do not change you pace, do not look at them, no not engage in any conversation with them.

They are paid on commission, very little of the money actually goes to the charity anyway and you would have to be a fool to give your bank details to someone in the street so they can fleece money out of your account every month until the end of time.

A couple of bright eyed and bushy tailed young uns from Greenpeace turned up on my doorstep the other day and as soon as I told them I would not be signing a direct debit form they were off.

If you do a bit of reading on how the aid industry and NGO's work you would be horrified and you never feel bad about not engaging with the leeches on the street again.

figee

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #32 on: May 09, 2012, 11:21:40 PM »
In the UK I began to engage the chuggers:

"Hi, how do you feel about XYZ.  Would you like to donate?  Via direct debit?"
Me:  "No thanks."
Them:  Spiel, spiel, spiel."
Me: "Who are you employed by?  And how much are you paid per hour?"
Them: "....?  How is that relevant?"
Me:  "Well, let's say that your being paid the minimum wage of about 5 pounds an hour.  You want me to sign up for DD @ 20 pounds a month.  How many months worth of donations need to be made before we all break even and any money starts to go to the charity?"
Them:  "that isn't how it works!"
Me:  "Really?  So how are you paid?"
Them:  Well, you don't understand."
Me: Obviously not.  But until I do I think it's better to make my donations directly to charity, don't you?"  Smile sweetly, head off.

Isometric

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #33 on: May 10, 2012, 12:32:12 AM »
That sucks. They should have worked out by now that this approach is detrimental to their cause.

I once told a "chugger" (thanks Pippen!) I couldn't commit to a monthly donation, but asked if I could give a once off instead since he was there. Essentially he replied (without knowing how much I would have given him) that that wasn't going to help children get adequate food, water and health care. I left feeling single handedly responsible for world hunger and he left without the (albeit small) donation I could have given him. Lose lose.

Venus193

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #34 on: May 10, 2012, 07:57:56 AM »
What truly makes me angry about this is that many or most of these people are selectively deaf when you tell them "I'm currently unemployed and unable to give anything."  They still follow you or just continue on if you're on the phone.

I may have said this previously, but it's something that really sets me off.

MellowedOne

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #35 on: May 11, 2012, 08:18:56 AM »
There is no need to explain anything.  All that does is give them them fuel to press on.  Best and easiest way to do this is a firm 'No thank you' accompanied by a wave.  Immediately break eye contact.  If they attempt to re-engage, repeat exactly what you said and did.  If possible do not stop walking while doing this.

I think what's really honed my skill in this are all cruises to Caribbean ports where the locals hawk souvenirs in a very aggressive manner.  A person learns how to say 'no thanks' and move on very quickly.

nyarlathotep

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #36 on: May 11, 2012, 03:32:42 PM »
Chuggers round here will often greet you as you walk by in the hope of drawing you into the conversation. This is how I deal.

Chugger: Hello! How are you?
Me: No thank you, but have a nice day.

Usually, that is enough to make them leave me alone. Sometimes, however, it happens like this:
Chugger: Hello! How are you?
Me: No thank you, but have a nice day.
Chugger: Just a minute of your time.
Me: (brief and impassioned lecture on the importance of the word 'no')

May not be etiquette-approved, but I think "No thank you" is fair warning, TBH.

laud_shy_girl

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #37 on: May 13, 2012, 01:39:04 PM »
I'm always so tempted to respond with "sorry, my mummy doesn't let me talk to strangers" then walk away  >:D
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer

gadget--gal

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #38 on: May 15, 2012, 06:26:07 AM »
This is something that happened quite some time ago, before I came across this wonderful website. I look back on it now, knowing that perhaps I could have handled the situation better. Your views are more than welcome :)

BG - I had recently left my previous job due to depression. Thinking back now, impulsively quitting my job was a careless thing to do but my illness prevented me from seeing clearly. The depression isn't relevent to the story at hand but I was unemployed for quite some time and at the time this event occurred, I was collecting Jobseekers allowance (UK version of collecting 'unemployment benefit' in the US). I hadn't recovered from my depression but I was ready to get back out there and start looking for work so I could feel *human* again. In order to do that, I needed some kind of income to assist with my job search. I needed money to get to and from interviews on public transport since I do not drive and I needed money to buy food. Of course, Money was tight and I was struggling to make ends meet. It got to the point where I was praying for someone, somewhere to give me a job because I had bills due that I was not able to pay and could barely afford to eat. It was a dark time.  END BG.

On this particular day, I was walking through town, on my way to do more job searching. As I was walking through, there were some employees from a children's charity stopping people in the street and asking for donations. A young man who was working for them, stopped me. The conversation was as follows:

Charity Man:  Hi there! You look like you have a friendly and caring face so I thought you'd be the person to stop and ask! Did you know *add statistic* children are in danger each day etc etc?

Me: Yes, I am aware of that :(

Charity Man: Well, YOU could change at least one child's life today by donating £8.50 to us every month. Would you be interested in that?

(At this point, I was stuck. I didn't want to say no because I didn't want to look heartless. I really DO admire the work done for any children's charity and always help out where possible, but my financial circumstances just wouldn't allow that to happen this time round. I was scraping pennies together to make ends meet and still wasn't succeeding. It just wasn't going to be possible).

Me: I'm sorry but I am unable to donate at this time. This is a charity I hold really close to my heart but it just isn't possible at this time. I will defiantly put my name down at a later date.

Charity Man: Well, why aren't you able to now?

Me: *Feeling 'put on the spot'* I'm not settled financially, I'm afraid I simply can't afford it at this time.

(I know that it was completely unnecessary to give details but like I said, I just didn't know what to do. It was very uncomfortable)

Charity Man: Well can't you cut back in other aspects of your life for this cause? For example, instead of buying bread when you go shopping, DON'T buy bread. Cut back on the amount of electricity you use and food you eat. Its totally worth it to save a child's life, wouldn't you agree? I approached you and suggested the lowest rate to pay. If you were some business man in a suit, I would have suggested £20.00 a month instead. It's definitely a fair price!

(At this point, I had inadvertently been made to feel as though I LOOK cheap. I just wanted to get away).

Me: *sigh* Where do i sign?

I ended up putting my bank details in to his hand held computer right there on the street and walking away feeling terrified at what I simply COULD NOT afford. As soon as I was out of the area, I phoned the charity and asked to please be taken off the list as I felt bullied in to joining. They took me off the list and apologised.

How else could i have handled that?

OP, you were suffering from depression at the time and struggling to hold you life together. it's easy to say in in hindsight that you could have been more firm but you WERE ill at the time, and depression affects your rationale. The Chugger (charity mugger - as we call them in UK) unwittingly bullied you into signing up.

Even though he put you on the spot, you did remedy the situation by cancelling transaction later.

for the future, I would say just keep walking, no engaging, no explanations. :)

nyarlathotep

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #39 on: May 15, 2012, 06:57:52 AM »
One of them just knocked on our door! (This is pretty common around here.) As soon as mum opened it, he launched into his spiel of "Hello! How are you today?"

Mum told him it wasn't a good time and to come back later. Why? She didn't want him to come back at all. Personally, I don't think it's rude to say, "No thanks, we're not interested, bye." Nothing wrong with being polite but firm.

Now he's probably going to turn up again later today. Thanks mum!  :(

Kali

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #40 on: October 05, 2012, 05:30:15 PM »
My answer is to say "No Thank You. I have several charities I'm involved in but good luck" and change the subject or walk away.

magician5

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #41 on: October 06, 2012, 02:40:23 PM »
Isn't it funny that the charities always seem to be organizations you've never EVER heard of? I always suspect that the money is going right into someone's personal bank account, or occasionally I get that "cult" feeling.
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

faithlessone

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #42 on: October 06, 2012, 03:32:02 PM »
Isn't it funny that the charities always seem to be organizations you've never EVER heard of? I always suspect that the money is going right into someone's personal bank account, or occasionally I get that "cult" feeling.

Actually, I've found that the worst offenders are the big big charities. I was once chased down the street by someone from the Red Cross!

I suppose that can depend on the area though.

25wishes

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #43 on: October 07, 2012, 09:08:11 AM »
The ones that call, I just tell them I never donate to anyone who calls on the phone. I donate a LOT to my favorite charities but they don't call me up. I have dropped charities that called or contacted me too much after being told to back off.

 Also, I will check out any new charity on CharityNavigator website.

Can't imagine being accosted as I walk down the street, ugh.

White Lotus

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Re: Charity Guilt Trip
« Reply #44 on: October 20, 2012, 04:21:49 AM »
Chuggers!  Love that term.  Here we get the Red Religion Bell Ringers literally blocking the doors of virtually all businesses for a couple of months each year.  I dread going shopping.  They get pretty snarky and pushy when you say, "No, thank you," or just walk by. The local branch office is just as bad, and actually supports this behavior.  We cannot support religions other than OurSect Buddhism, period.  I look Elsewherian, as I am Elsewherian-American, and can tell them all this in fluent and sometimes annoyed Elsewherian, confounding them, but the Professor looks Majority American and cannot get away from them that easily, because, although his Elsewherian is fluent, he does not look Elsewherian. His solution is to either slink off unhappily or, if he has ten minutes, tell them ALL about OurSect Buddhism and why he cannot contribute to their faith or its charities, which dispense sermons along with the charity.  Often, though, they STILL do not get why he cannot give money to support their religion! Please move away from the doors, folks, and please do not get snarky or sarcastic with those who pass you by.  I guarantee your karma will be the better for it.